It’s automatic. Of course, there are varying degrees. I’m sure the first thing people are thinking as they read this is, “what if the child was abused by his biological family?” or “what if he was an orphan?” Wouldn’t adoption be the least discriminatory thing in both of those drastic scenes? Well, of course I and any other normal person has nothing wrong with a child being put into a new family after their first is abusive or they have been orphaned. However, adoption is not a guarantee for either of those children of a safe life and all adoptions in the United States and Canada are discrimination to varying degrees.
I’ve discussed before on here children who are abused and even murdered by their adopters. I wrote an article to my local newspaper that circulated to four hundred thousand people about children murdered by their adopters, how it’s more common than you think, and how we can fix this terrible problem, but the adoption industry won’t because they’d lose billions. The response I got, “how dare you. Adoption is love. My friends adopted.”
I wrote another article on how most orphans are not orphans, and recommended the documentary Ethiopian Adoptions by Journeyman Pictures. Of course, there are other documentaries out there about the shams behind orphanages in third world countries around the world.
However, yes, there definitely are actual orphans in this world who do need a new family to love them and care for them. There absolutely are abused children, from infancy through their teenage years, who need new and loving families. I think those who have taken in such children, adopted them, and love and care for them are great people. No doubt in my mind they are great people. I also think those who adopted orphans who didn’t know their children still had family members or a parent who could care for them are also great people. They too were lied to. I think adoptive parents who adopt a baby who were bamboozled into thinking this was the best thing for the infant and their biological mother are also great people. Why? Because they too were told lies.
Yet, even these adoptive parents are pro-discrimination. Of course, they are the least pro-discrimination because and only because they didn’t know better. The thing is many people, even great and loving people, are pro-discrimination because they don’t know any better or didn’t know any better because the multibillion dollar adoption industry has made adoption to seem like the most heroic and altruistic thing you can do, and completely leaves out the important part about discrimination.
All adoptions within the United States and Canada, and several other countries, are pro discrimination because they seal the original birth certificate and the adoption records.
There’s a lot more to the discrimination of adopted people. There are many things believed and said about and to adoptees that nobody dare would say to someone who is not. The United States and Canada have made profound changes over the centuries on how: Native Americans, First Nations, Asian Americans, African Americans, Mexican Americans, LGBT, the mentally disabled, the physically disabled, Catholics, Germans, Irish, Polish, Italians, Jews, and women are treated. Yet in the past things said to and believed about these specific groups of people were atrocious. Today, it’s adopted people who are told nasty things.
Not by me you say? Well, take a look at this list and see if you agree with any of the discrimination on here. Yes, it is all discrimination because if an adoptee says it is then it is. You as a non-adopted person have no say in what is discrimination or not discrimination to a demographic that you are not involved in. Just like how I am not First Nations, I have no say in what is discrimination and not discrimination to people who are First Nations.
You discriminate adopted people if you believe any of the following making you no different than those who have discriminated other groups in the past such as women fighting for the right to vote, own their own property and divorce abusive husbands, and Asian Americans who were denied entry into the United States and those who could come before and after the Chinese Exclusion Act were allowed onto certain jobs that were sometimes incredibly dangerous.
1. You believe adoptees should not search for biological family if their adoptive parents don’t want them to.
2. You believe adoptees should not search for biological family. You tell adoptees that their only true family is their adoptive family. Unless this is said in a friendly term for adoptees from abusive biological families, don’t say it.
3. You believe adoptees should not search for biological family until their adoptive parents are deceased.’
4. You believe that there is nothing wrong with sealing an original birth certificate and giving an adoptee an amended birth certificate. Upon learning about this practice you do nothing to advocate for unsealing original birth certificates for all adoptees and stopping the practice of sealing original birth certificates for future adoptions.
5. You believe adoptees should not have access to their adoption records and do not advocate for unsealing adoption records.
6. You have been made aware that birthparent privacy is a lie, as explained many times in this blog, and that adoption records and original birth certificates only started being sealed because Senator Lehman of New York State bought two kidnapped children from Georgia Tann and wanted to hide what he did as Tann created the birthparent privacy lie, yet you continue to believe that adoptees do not deserve their adoption records, original birth certificates, and that their biological parents deserve privacy from them.
7. You believe that a biological parent should be allowed to deny contact. Even in the cases of rape and incest this is discrimination. Asking questions like “what if she was raped?” or saying “the circumstances of her pregnancy with you were horrible” puts the blame of the conception and circumstances on the adopted person. Having a friend who conceived her son in a brutal rape and attempted murder she explains that rape conceived children are not bad reminders. Her little boy is not a bad reminder. Every mother who conceived a child in rape she knows admits the same truth. The truth is most who deny contact did not conceive in rape, but the more important truth is that it doesn’t matter. Being fine with denying contact is being fine with putting the blame on the adoptee, someone who doesn’t deserve it. The blame belongs on those who did not support the first mother during her pregnancy so she could keep her baby or the first father who was told he must give away his child to adoption because he’s a widower or whatever other lies. You continue to compare denial of contact between biological family and an adoptee as nothing more than “two strangers where one doesn’t want to get to know the other”. Even decades a part, this stranger analogy is not an accurate comparison because of the bond formed between mother and unborn infant during pregnancy nor can one compare denial of contact between family as no different than not wanting to be friends with someone from your class.
8. You believe a biological parent should be allowed to tell other biological family members to deny contact with their adoptee relative. I don’t mean a relative who was adopted into the family, but a relative that searched and found them, or a biological family member found them. You believe it’s fine for a biological parent to deny other biological family members contact until they (biological parent) is deceased. You believe it’s fine for the governments to deny adoptees contact with biological family members under the age of 18. Currently, in the United States adoptees can serve lengthy prison sentences for contacting biological family members under 18 without permission from the biological family member parent. Yet people who commit violent offenses serve less prison time.
9. You refuse to listen to adoptees who tell you the truth, basically, such as this blog.
10. You unintentionally discriminate adoptees by not being aware of sealed adoption records.
11. You unintentially discriminate adoptees by not being aware of sealed original birth certificates.
12. You are aware adoptees are denied their biological family medical information or updated information and that adoption agencies can deny them this information, and to adoptive parents of adoptees who are children, yet you continue to promote adoption.
13. You unintentionally discriminate adoptees by not being aware of the discrimination explained in number 12.
14. You promote adoption after you have been told it’s not the answer to abortion.
15. You refuse to listen to adoptees.
16. You make mocking comments after adoptees explain to you the problems involved in adoption.
17. You tell adoptees who speak about reforming or abolishing the industry, who speak about the discrimination, and especially speak about the adopted children and adults abused, murdered, or driven to suicide by their adopters as ungrateful.
18. You gaslight adoptees who speak up about the problems and need for change as crazy. When an adoptee talks about the vast majority of unnecessary out of family infant adoptions, meaning all adoptions that were the not done because the biological family was abusive to the baby, you answer with, “well, what about abused children? What about those who tried to have an abortion but it failed? What about adopting older kids? What about orphans?” Replying with a question that has nothing to do with the type of adoption the adoptee was talking about is discrimination. Even in the cases of a child needing to be be removed from their biological family, sealing the original birth certificate and adoption record, denying medical information and denying contact with safe biological family is still discrimination and still unnecessary.
19. You reply with comments such as ” adoptions are best for baby” and “adoptions are brave choices.”
Discrimination is discrimination. Decide for yourself what level of discrimination you are, and then figure out how to go about improving your belief system and how you treat those who are adopted.
The Civil Rights Movement is not over. It is time to incorporate into all social studies high school curriculums the need to discuss these discriminatory practices and the need for them to change. What if it offends adoptive parents of students? Too bad. Honestly, too dang bad. This is not about what one likes or doesn’t like to hear. This is not about their feelings. This is about putting adoptees first for once, adoptees who have no voice and no choice in their own adoption. Whether they are glad to be adopted or not is irrelevant. This is about discussing how a demographic of people, especially closed adoptees, are discriminated. This is about exposing truths, exposing adoption, and the outrageously intertwined correlation it has to PTSD, anxiety, and suicide.
Ask yourself, what side of history do you want to be on?
I chose the picture I did to show the Suffragette Movement wasn’t just in the US or UK, but all over the world. The adoptee rights movement and need to reform or abolish the adoption industry is also a global concept with some countries, like Finland, being a lot more progressive than other countries, like the United States.
A Hole In My Heart by Lorraine Dusky
To Prison With Love by Sandy Musser
The Baby Thief by Barbara Raymond
The Traffick in Babies by Dr. Karen Balcomb
The Child Catchers by Kathryn Joyce