18 Reasons Why I’m Officially Done Discussing Adoption Each for the 18 Years I Advocated and I’m Not Even Including The Years I Did From Ages 12 to 17.

So, this is an official goodbye. The last article you’ll see from me on this blog. The last adoption comment you’ll see online be it Facebook or Instagram. Why am I hanging up my hat?

  1. I have taught people a lot. I pass on the torch to them to talk to other people online and to create their own blogs and articles about the need for adoptee rights and adoption reformation.
  2. There is always something to talk about when it comes to adoption. Well, I know I have spoken about enough. I have articles published in newspapers, tons of articles on here, and thousands and thousands of comments online.
  3. I gave every New York State Assemblymember a list of how to fix adoption in NYS, bills they can propose such as no longer sealing the original birth certificate, abolishing closed adoptions, etc and all that good stuff. I’m well aware some won’t care because they hate us adoptees and want us to be discriminated, cos if you don’t believe in equality then you hate us, like Glick who sure as shit shouldn’t be the department chair of the NYS Department of Education since she believes in discriminating adoptees, and there are students who are adoptees. I have one who replied saying she is looking over what I wrote as possible proposals for 2020.
  4. I have an answer for almost everything. I’m not being cocky, at this point I can just copy and paste a resource to every person’s comment or question. Like I said, I’m done discussing adoption. I’m done writing about it, but copying and pasting a link that takes a mere few seconds when someone makes a comment such as “Jesus was adopted” isn’t a discussion, and if they reply to me I won’t be getting into any discussion with them. Believe what you want, I’m not here to be your fairy godmother of equality and common sense.
  5. I accept the fact there will always be people who don’t want to learn.
  6. I care about a lot of other things as well.
  7. I have met a lot of great biological cousins and two biological aunts. I don’t want to them to think I’m anything less than extremely excited to know them and their kindness.
  8. I’m tired of explaining myself whether it’s explaining I have great adoptive parents and wouldn’t be the person I am today if they hadn’t raised me, but still knowing change must be made or that there are various forms of adoption and that I actually support in family adoption if there’s total honesty. Again, I can just send someone a resource.
  9. I am an extremely hilarious person at times, and I know some of that has been lost in so many serious conversations about adoption.
  10. I said I’m done discussing adoption. I didn’t say I was done being an advocate. I still will be signing worthwhile petitions sent directly to those in Congress for changing from unsealing original birth certificates without a contact form and making the multibillion dollar adoption industry be made to pay for the forms and ancestral DNA test kits as they should do.
  11. Yes, I realise in my final goodbye to discussing adoption I am discussing adoption.
  12. My passion is writing, and adoptee rights and adoption reform is something I care about greatly. I feel that by permanently ending the discussions about adoption I am giving up control and giving it all to God. I am keenly interested in what will happen next.
  13. I don’t have to be the one in control. I don’t have to be the one to always answer people’s comments and questions. There’s plenty of us. Others can answer, and I hope it’ll now be those who have looked up to me and have learnt from me. Although I think it’s a bit silly people looked up to me, but oh well.
  14. Discussing adoption takes up a lot of my time. I have a lot of other things that need to get done.
  15. Because sometimes not intervening is best. Some young mothers will still “choose” adoption for their babies no matter what family preservationists like myself say. I can still and still will read through comments and if I feel someone else is helping great. If I feel nobody is getting her to see the problems with adoption then she can deal with the consequences. Her consequences aren’t my problem. Same for adopters who don’t tell their adopted child he or she is adopted. I can warn you, but it’s the same concept, and if you refuse when others told you to don’t cry when the child you took care of permanently severs a relationship with you. Again, not my problem. I might, might leave one of my articles for them, but again that’s not a discussion, I’m not replying to their replies of my article, and I’m only doing it if nobody has answered them after a few days and only if I really care.
  16. Because my power is taken bit by bit when I decide to answer comments such as just reading my Instagram now and hearing from a Black adoption agency employee that she doesn’t believe she is discriminating anyone by condoning and promoting closed adoption when I told her that as a Black woman coming from a discriminated group of people it’s revolting she chooses to promote discriminating others, and the fact that closed adoption blames the adoptee for the problems that led to them being adopted. I’m not getting into discussions or arguements with self-centered people who I believe will be in hell when they die for the bullshit they did here if they don’t truly repent, and who, frankly, don’t give two shits if you do explain things to them.
  17. Because I have spoken enough.
  18. Because I have informed law enforcement the dangers of adoption, and if they have any questions regarding an adopted child in a dangerous situation or want more detail on how adoption is linked to unsolved cold case homicides and high suicide rates in order to assist them with their jobs they will be the only people I will be giving an indepth answer to, and even then almost always I can just reference them my two articles on it.

 

 

I am interested to know what God is doing with me next as I hang up my hat.

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Hanging Up My Hat.

After 18 years of talking about adoption and fighting for equality I hang up my hat. I am officially done talking about it.

Michigan Won’t Fund Adoption Agencies That Refuse Homosexual People: Should Gay People Be Allowed to Adopt?

This is such a loaded question and the one question that should be answered only by educated adoptees. We have come to a point in believing that allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt is a form of equality. However, as always, society and media completely ignores the equality of adoptees. Society and the media keeps ignoring the severe problems with the multibillion dollar adoption industry that is not even credentialed.

First, why the feck does Michigan have taxpayer funded adoption agencies? What revolting nonsense, when Michigan, like nearly every other single state discriminates adoptees. Why not taxpayer funded programmes that allow a family in need or a single mother who needs some financial and emotional support so that the baby or child can remain with the family and not endure the discrimination that adoptees do? If that isn’t possible, which once a pregnant or new mother has financial and emotional support only 3% to 5% would not keep their child, then why not fund programmes with Michigan residents tax dollars for kinship care or legal guardianship? There is nothing good about infant adoption agencies and the adoption industry, not a damn thing, and they are not necessary to prevent abortions.

This next part. Do please, please, please read. This isn’t milk, it’s not meant to be skimmed. I would hope that writing about one of my gay friends on this blog and how people should strive to be kind like him would tell you this is not a homophobic article.

Should gay people be allowed to adopt? Only in these circumstances:

1. They are adopting a biological relative of theirs, make a copy of their original birth certificate, have honest communication, are not abusive, and are doing this because the child or children’s parents are in prison, deceased, or unsafe. Look, I know it’s still discrimination to only get a copy and all adoptees deserve their original birth certificate. I even believe minors should, but having a copy of the original is a lot better than what closed adoptees have and those in open adoptions outside of their family, which is nothing. 

2. They are adopting their spouse’s or partner’s child as some people in this world are bisexual. However, this is only with the permission of the child with the child having full understanding of what discrimination that will happen to him or her as a half adoptee, and only if the other biological parent of the child is not in the picture, and so long as other safe biological family members of the adoptee on the non-existent biological parent side are in the child’s life. 

3. They have fostered a child who can speak for himself or herself and the child or adolescent can prove their biological family is unsafe and this foster child or foster teen says they want them to adopt him or her with the full knowledge that their original birth certificate will be sealed and their name permanently changed, and whatever other discrimination that might occur such as being denied updated biological family medical information, and so long as any safe biological family members are kept in contact.

In all of these circumstances legal guardianship could also be used, which makes things easier because it doesn’t discriminate. However, if there’s adoption these are the only adoptions I support because the first is keeping all the adoptee needs and deserves or copies of it and keeping the child in the family, and the other two are giving the child or teenager the choice. It may not be a choice you or I agree with, but the important thing here is that it’s an adoptee choosing.

Why do I have these rules for homosexual couples and bisexual couples in a same sex relationship? 

Simple, because these are the exact same rules that I want hetereosexual couples to abide by. It’s time to put adoptees first in adoption. Not hetereosexual couples looking to adopt. Not homosexual couples wanting to adopt. Not bisexual couples in a same sex relationship planning to “expand their family” through adoption, whilst destroying the family of another and taking a baby that never needed to be adopted by them in the first place, or any other adoptive couple out their regardless of their sexuality.

What if it’s an abused baby from a dangerous family? Legal guardianship or kinship care regardless of the baby’s caregiver’s sexuality until that child is old enough to decide for himself or herself with the full knowledge that adoptees lose their heritages (closed adoption), biological family medical information and/or updated (sometimes open, always closed), their original birth certificate in nearly every single state, and their adoption records, and in the past they would also sometimes lose the ability to have a passport and be denied to leave the country just for being adopted.

That, my friends, is equality and even then it’s still not for adoptees. It’s time, oh it’s so, so so damn time to put adoptees first in adoption. I’m sure LGBT adoptees have a lot to say on this.

Why are transgender people ignored in these debates about allowing gay people to adopt when they are members of the LGBT movement even though transgender isn’t a sexuality?

And before anyone asks me, “what about using a surrogate?” Oh hey fucking no. Look up what horrible, revolting, horrific, abyssmal conditions they put surrogate women in Asia in to pop out babies for rich westerners regardless of the couples’ sexuality. It’s pure greed and sociopathy. What about a surrogate that is treated well and is from say, California? Nope. Research the scientific evidence out there about how babies become connected to the women who grow them.

What about people who don’t agree with me? Well, after you have over eighteen years of research done and you happen to also be directly effected by adoption then I’m open to hearing your opinions.

Your Story Matters.

My body has been telling me, or God is telling me, I really need a break from writing about adoption for awhile. Yet, here I am not listening because well, because I don’t know, but here I am writing. My goal here is to get more adoptees to break out of their shells. My goodness we need you, and when you come out of the brainwashing the adoption industry implemented into you you’ll totally get what I mean by we need you.

Your story matters. “But, I tell my stories. I tell about how my birthmother lovingly chose adoption. I tell about how I’m Korean and raised by a loving Irish, German American family and I’m happy with being Irish and German like my family.” No, that isn’t your story. Your story isn’t the thousands of stories told out there that replicate or are similar to this one, which is something I actually read from an adoptee who is so tragically brainwashed by adoption she no longer believes she’s Asian, but White. I do feel somewhat of a bitch for using an actual example, but oh it just has to be shared because there are so many adoptees that need to be unfolded.

Oh adoptees, your story, my story, our stories are not the stories told to us by the adoption agencies. They are not even the stories told to us by our adoptive parents, whether it’s because they are a bunch of lying pieces of shit, or they are like my own adoptive parents; completely lied to by the adoption agencies. Yes, I have great adoptive parents and I usually just refer to them as my mum and dad.

Your story is partly a story of searching. Searching is a huge part of your story. You cannot have your story without searching. Your search will define you even more. Being adopted, for whatever reason, is only part of your story. What you search for is entirely up to you. That is one power you can have as an adoptee when power was taken from you.

Some of you, no wait, too many of you have been telling other people’s stories and these people have psychopathically or unknowingly been making their stories your story. Their story is not your story. You either get that or you’ll get it later if you become awakened.

Your story isn’t what non adopted people have taught you to say about adoption, to feel about adoption, to say and think about your own adoption. Your story is what you perceive adoption to be, your story of what you perceive your own adoption to be, and many of you will vastly change your perception as you learn how much evil is involved in the adoption industry.

It’s time to not care what anyone else thinks or feels. If you need to offend by telling your truth then offend.  Pardon my language, but fuck it. Say what’s on your mind whether it’s I fucking hate my birthday or I wish I could punch an adoption agency employee in the face, just don’t actually punch one in the face cos you’re too pretty and too smart to spend time in prison.  Admit that adoption isn’t all it’s cracked up to be my daughter is very ill and we would really like to have my biological family health information. Tell that idiot wanker to shut it when they ask “what if the birthmother doesn’t want to be found?” which is implicating that us adoptees are responsible for other people’s problems. Stop defending people who either didn’t ask to be defended or don’t deserve to be cos only those with unresolved psychological trauma avoid. Give the finger to that elderly relative who once again says, “I don’t see a single problem with adoption. Be grateful you weren’t aborted” because you really tried to be nice the first eight hundred and sixty two times. Their egos and dirty deeds will be the ones offended. Sometimes, being offensive is a good thing, and this is one of those rare times.

 

 

 

 

Adoption is Better Than Living With Abusive Biological Family, Right?

Well, yes adoption definitely is better than living with abusive biological family even with the discrimination that adoptees endure, even the abusive practices of closed adoption, until…. it’s not.

I previously wrote an article on here about adopted children who are murdered by their adopters. Worse yet, some are raped and murdered. Do you want to puke? Last August, an article of mine was published in a newspaper and circulated to four hundred thousand people. The following week, the news decided to idiotically publish a rebuttal from a woman who doesn’t know shit about adoption’s need for reform with comments like “adoption is love” “how dare you”, not said, but certainly implied, and “my friends adopted”.

Not a single adoption attorney or adoption agency employee has been brought to justice, and deservedly thrown in prison, for putting a child into a home where they were abused, raped, and/or murdered. I’m not going to repeat myself. My solutions to fixing this problem have been published in the article I wrote on this blog last year, along with being published in the newspaper and that comment being put online to my aunt, cousins, virtual friends and friends I have in real life.

I’m sure we all get this question. Why are you against adoption? It can take children out of abusive situations and provide them a loving home. Of course, I’m no idiot. A loving adoptive home is a million times better than an abusive biological home or an abusive foster home. However, even in these circumstances we still don’t need to be advocating for adoption. There is no reason to continue the abusive practice of unnecessarily splitting apart safe biological family members from each other, refusing to give biological family medical information or updated information which yes has killed adoptees, and sealing the original birth certificate. Also, I really don’t want to be supporting a multibillion dollar business that has done fuck all for murdered children, and then gloats at what “amazing work” they have done amongst the agencies who royally messed up. I’m not one for swearing much anymore these days, but yeah I’m a little outrageously irate. It takes a real psychopath to claim the amazing work your agency did and completely say nothing about the fact YOU FUCKING PUT KIDS IN HOMES WHERE THEY WERE MURDERED AND YOUR AGENCY WASN’T PUNISHED FOR IT.

My biological paternal aunt, who I found and she found me when I was thirty two almost two summers ago, was raised as a half adoptee. I hope my aunt doesn’t mind me writing here that she told me her mother, my biological paternal grandmother, was abusive. Understandably, my aunt wishes she had been adopted by some pretty-most of the time- awesome adoptive parents like mine. Of course, without the discrimination and without having to lose the thirty two years we lost together. Of course, my aunt has lost a lot too; five decades without knowing her half siblings existed! All because someone decided to not be honest.

The truth is we cannot assume that an adoptive couple are going to be good parents. I know some great adoptive parents, but I also know some that are just so so and then I have heard testimonies from adoptees, like Sadie Rone and Jung Haveland, who were tortured by their adopters. Just today my mum was watching Dominic Dunne about a man who murdered his wife. He was an adoptive father. Last week, my mum was watching another murder show; my mum should be a homicide detective/professional party planner, and again the adoptive father murdered the wife and the adopted children were raised in domestic violence.

Look, you might be saying these cases are rare. The truth is they are not. Child abuse amongst adoptive families is more common than you think. I wish I had the statistics to give you, but I don’t. Even amongst adoptive parents who aren’t abusive there is often a sort of mental abuse for some adoptees when it comes to strongly being influenced not to search for biological family.

Until we change the system, and I have provided solutions previously in the newspaper article I wrote and the article I wrote on here about how closed adoptions are dangerous, these homicides and torture of adopted children will continue. Even amongst open adoptions they need to become legally enforceable, and as mentioned in my previous writings, there need to be unexpected visits to an adoptee’s home once a year by someone like a police officer, until they are eighteen, and longer if the adoptee is special needs and unable to speak for themselves. Adoptive parents should be open to this because whilst your adopted child is your own child, you’re also raising someone else’s child; even if that biological parent is some neglectful, abusive, nimrod.

We need to release this false image that adoptive couples are all adopting for loving purposes. In fact, most who adopt infants adopt for selfish reasons. There’s a difference between adopting in the 1980s, or so, back in the day when the information wasn’t readily available like today on the internet when people adopted for infertility reasons without learning what was really occurring. Now, people adopting infants for infertility reasons are selfish, yes they are selfish, and have no reason to with the education out there provided to them, which they egotistically reply with, “well, I’m going to do it anyway.” 

Aside from self-centredness, we need to forego this idea that all children are adopted by great and loving families because it simply isn’t true. Adoption is not a guarantee of a better life. In fact, in some cases it can result in death through being murdered or through the high rate of suicide amongst adoptees.

We often also think of foster children who are adopted as being rescued. Well, at least I used to. Too often, just like in infant adoptions, there was a biological family member that could have raised them. CPS doesn’t want a biological family member to raise them in some circumstances because they would lose money. It really depends on whether or not CPS within that jurisdiction is moral. You get both good and bad social workers in CPS. I know one who is fantastic and really, really, really tries to keep the children with their parent(s) first and foremost, and then with family. She has seen the upheaval these children go through when they bounce back and forth between a foster home and their mother’s home depending on whether not the mother is doing drugs. Yet one needs to ask themselves why are safe and capable biological family members being told they’re too old to take legal guardianship or do kinship care or do infamily adoption to keep the child in the family, which is great to not lose your biological family medical information (so long as there’s honesty), yet strangers are allowed to adopt these children who are older than the biological family member?

The little boy in this picture is an adoptee who, like many children, never needed to be adopted. If only the police officer in this photo had known why the boy was crying. He, and his siblings who were adopted by two White lesbians (and yes, I think describing them matters as I explained in a previous article I wrote earlier this year), along with other children (who were biracial) who were starved and then murdered by these psychopaths. This innocent child and his siblings had an aunt, I believe in Texas, who was raising them. She was doing a fine job parenting. CPS decided she wasn’t good enough to parent and legally sold, as that is what adoption is, this boy and his siblings, and other children, to these adopters who legally bought these children to starve them and then murder them all whilst hiding behind a veil of racial harmony and hippy love. Had CPS not been corrupt, had CPS not been messed up this young boy and the other children would be alive. If CPS and the infant adoption industry weren’t so outrageously unethical so many children today would be alive. So many adult adoptees would not have committed suicide.

So, is adoption better than living with an abusive biological family? You decide. As you know now, it’s a lot more complex than they make it out to be.

 

Family Preservation in Buffalo, NY.

There are a few family preservation organisations here in the Buffalo, New York area serving primarily inner city residents. Of course, I do wish there were more opportunities for those outside of the city. Nevertheless, I am proud and excited to see yet another family preservation programme helping vulnerable Buffalo families. This is an astounding improvement from the terrible era of when Catholic Charities of Buffalo found every excuse in the book to take away a mother’s, or widowed father’s baby, and give those adoptees lifelong discrimination. I hate Catholic Charities with every fibre of my being and the “good” that they do for some can never replace the atrocities they have committed when it comes to tearing apart families and lifelong discrimination of adoptees.  Of course, they aren’t the only culprits. Now, to only see Adoption Star vanish.

Buffalonians are learning. They are learning the benefits of keeping families together and helping families. We are progressing here in Buffalo, New York and no longer allowing family shame to be the reason to lose babies to adoption. We are no longer looking the other way and claiming it’s not for us to get involved when cases of domestic violence occur. We are breaking the cycle of single motherhood.

Who is at the forefront of this change? Let’s take a look at some of them.

Mother Teresa Home- this Catholic run home for pregnant mothers and mothers of children until the age of three is located on Buffalo’s very rough east side. Formerly, a Polish and German area this area now serves to help primarily Black American mothers and their children, although mothers of all ethnicities live on the east side and come to Mother Teresa Home. Opened in August 2016, the Mother Teresa Home is run by Catholic nuns of the Buffalo diocese.  Here, adoption is not offered on the table.

Unfortunately, adoption is still offered at St. Gianna Pregnancy Outreach Center where the myth that adoption will save babies from abortion is believed. I just wrote them to tell them that adoption causes trauma to mother and child, separation with the biological family, and lifelong discrimination for adoptees and to please promote legal guardianship. Other activists can do their part in asking them to promote legal guardianship when family preservation is just impossible.

The Mother Teresa Home provides spiritual counselling, financial counselling, free daycare, parenting support, parenting courses, mental health counselling, domestic skills, finacial planning and financial skills, parental involvement when your child is school age, vocational training, a place for mothers and their babies to live for the first few years, finishing high school or obtaining a GED, assistance in landing an interview, and more.

The Mother Teresa Home is opened only to pregnant mothers and mothers of babies ages newborn to age three who have been evicted from their homes for getting pregnant or are for any other reason homeless. Ages 16 to 26 are welcome to stay for 18 months.

Buffalo Prenatal-Perinatal Network- Also serving in primarily Buffalo’s urban communities on the west side and east side of Buffalo, Buffalo Prenatal-Perinatal Network offers various programmes to keep families together. 80% of the mothers they serve are women of colour, as the east side is predominately Black American and the west side is predominately Latina American with a growing Southeast Asian immigration population, along with a small percentage of European American families still residing on what used to be a very Italian neighbourhood. They also service south Buffalo, a very Irish American community, Cheektowaga which is a predominately Black American and Polish American town, Lackawanna which is primarily a Muslim and Black American community, and parts of Tonawanda which is a very racially and economically diverse area, and parts of Hamburg which is a very economically diverse European American town. One great thing about the programme is that they remember the importance of fathers. Often fathers want to be involved, but are not shown how or are purposely neglected. The Responsible Fathers Initiative is their 13 week programme that teaches fathers, including young teenage fathers, parenting skills, discipline, being a nurturing father, earning a degree, and job training programmes in order to support their children. Basically, it teaches them how to be a man and a dad. Healthy Families NY teaches child abuse prevention, parenting, healthy choices for families, child development, and self sufficiency. The Community Health Worker Program helps mothers from the tender age of 14 to the age of 44 prevent future teenage pregnancies, prevent premature births, provide postpartum assistance, obtain health insurance, get food and clothing, provide immense support, and a place to live for moms and their children. They have been successfully helping low income families for five years. Of the 2,658 Buffalo and Buffalo suburban families they have assisted, half of the pregnancies of pregnant mothers they’ve cared for have had preterm or low birth rate babies, child abuse has decreased immensely, almost 100% of the babies have their immunisations, and CPS calls are rare. The organisation does well to remember that most of the young parents and low income parents they are assisting come from horrible childhoods themselves, or have escaped from domestic violence. In fact, all mothers in the programme are screened for drug abuse, depression, and domestic violence. Support is given to these women, without their babies and children being automatically given away to adoption.

 

Why I Hate the Word Adoption.

The word adoption is such a problematic word. You cannot use such a broad term for so many different types of adoptions. I wrote long ago about the different types of adoptions. I mentioned in there that an open adoption is not legally enforceable in Canada and the States and that most do close.

I will not say that every adoption is different like a snowflake because that’s just adoption propaganda malarky and just not true.

The different types of adoptions need to have different names. Let’s take a look at three different women. These are actual women who are adoptive mums and their actual adoptions.

  1. Elizabeth – Elizabeth is an adoptive mum. Elizabeth adopted abused children from the foster system who have abusive biological families. I do understand there is corruption in CPS, but no Elizabeth is an adoptee herself and yes, those children were taken out of an abusive family.
  2. Jo- Jo is an adoptive mum. She adopted her niece and nephew, kept their original birth certificates, let’s them know she’s their aunt, has their biological medical information and works in the medical field herself. Jo’s niece and nephew were also rescued.
  3. Katharine- Katharine is an adoptive mum. She adopted her son from China. Katharine already had two biological daughters and her and her husband decided they wanted to adopt from an orphanage because they felt God was telling them to bring home a child living in an orphanage. Their decision to adopt was a compassionate one in wanting to help a child. Katharine makes sure to enrich her son in Chinese culture and to interact with fellow Chinese-American people. Although her son’s details of how he did not stay with his biological family are shrouded in mystery, I can say a lack of a huzou because of a child being born past the allowed number is often a primary factor. Without a huzou children are denied medical care and an education. This may or may not be Katharine’s son’s case. It’s best not to jump to any conclusions. What is guaranteed is knowing Katharine adopted completely out of compassion to want to better the life of a child; her son.
  4. Sharon- Sharon is an adoptive mum. Sharon is my mum. My mum went into a closed adoption because she had been told many lies by Catholic Family Center and wasn’t given full information on the problems with adoption. My mum was also lied to and never told that my biological family was a ginormous, middle class to upper middle class family with plenty of married people in the 80s that could have and should have kept me in the family and/or supported my biological mother. My mum says had she known what she knows now she definitely would have preferred for there to have been correspondence. My biological mother was bullied and emotionally abused and told she wouldn’t be good enough if she wasn’t married and told she’s only a vessel. Like who dares say that to someone? Oh, psychopaths at adoption agencies. My mum Sharon has lived decades with anxiety over various problems with adoption such as not having my biological medical information and being peeved that even my mum herself can’t see the adoption record which she says rightfully belongs to me, among other things.

 

As you can see, these are four extremely different adoptions. So, why are we calling different adoptions under the same word? Why are we saying “adoptee” and “adoptive parent” when different types of adoptions are oh so different, with some like Jo’s being a lot better than mine in terms of the fact of how much closed adoptees are discriminated and cut off from safe, nice biological family. In fact, in the case of Jo’s niece and nephew there is no adoptee discrimination. When we use the word adoption in the umbrella term that it is now we do a disservice to adoptees in far more discriminatory circumstances and we lump together different legal processes making it more difficult to remedy what need to be reformed in the adoption industry and within state by state, county by county, territory by territory, and province by province governments.

Dear First Mothers, I am Sorry for Your Loss.

Being a polyglot, I feel like this post should be written in multiple languages. This is a letter for every first mother in the world. A first mother is a mother who lost her baby to adoption.

Dear First Mothers of the World,

I understand for far too long people have shunned you, not allowed you to speak your true feelings, suppressed your true feelings of remorse, pain, guilt, sadness, and frustration. The adoption industry has created this propaganda that most “birthmothers get over their loss” or “it’s not a loss but helping to build a family” or whatever bullshit they pull. Some of you are in open adoptions that are still remaining open. This is great that the adoptive parents have honoured what they said they would do. I do believe there are great adoptive parents out there. However, some of you vehemently advocate for adoption because you know if you don’t your open adoption could close. Some of you lie and say you’re perfectly fine when you’re not because you’re terrified of the emotions coming up from inside of you like rage and hurt. I can understand why you are terrified of your emotions. I know that a big part of it is because you had no true support. You and I know the truth, losing your child to adoption, is the most gut wrenching, horrendous thing done to you. I understand and I am sorry that your true inner feelings have been ignored for so long. I am so deeply sorry that those in a closed adoption went through or go through the pain of not knowing whether or not your child is still alive, and everyone has ignored this. I may not be the best at giving apologies, and honestly being an adoptee I’m not the one who should be apologising, but I want all of you to know that I see you, I see the truth, and I am sorry for your loss.

 

Adoption Books for Children are Plagued with Propaganda.

Pick up a copy of an adoption book for children and you’ll see it’s plagued with nauseating propaganda. It’s nearly 3am and I am not going to explain why or how. This article is written for those who are already educated on how slimey the adoption industry is.

Now, I’m not the best writer. I’ve taken on this huge, God given task for nearly four years now of writing a novel. I can’t thank a life long friend enough for being my editor because she’s whooping my book into shape whilst making me do nearly all of the work. However, writing a children’s picture book really isn’t that hard. It’s not writing a seventeen chapter fantasy novel that has realism in it, is the first book in a series, has multiple main characters, plot twists, humour, action, and little tidbits of learning in there because yeah I’m a dork.

So, I wrote a children’s picture book. Pretty much based the writing style off of other children’s picture books. I have hundreds of them. Now, I wonder if publishing this will give me no chance in having my novel published? The thing is, regardless of the outcome the truth needs to be spoken, and in the future if my fantasy novel is rejected for this very reason it speaks volumes and I can self publish. However, I’d rather have it published by someone.

I wrote various children’s picture books on adoption. Including but not limited to:

A mother telling her child she has another sibling that was lost to adoption. Written in a child appropriate manner. That was given a no.

A child explaining her or his needs to know their biological connection. That was given a no.

An adoption book that promoted keeping open adoptions open with the first mother visiting the child. That was given a no. Yes, whilst I much prefer legal guardianships I was trying here to write for children who are already in adoptions and to promote only open adoptions and encourage them to remain open.

Were they given a no because the writing stunk? I don’t believe so. Take a look at the adoption books for children out there. The first mother is either non existent or is just, to use the objectifying emotionally abusive words of my evil adoption agency, a vessel. The adoptions are portrayed in adoption picture books as cutesy with an attitude that one should forget about their original family, not know they have an original family, as this pertains to out of family adoptions, or that the child was an orphan sitting around waiting to be rescued by the great adopters.

Books celebrating a child’s adoption day, sickeningly known as Gotcha Day, which in a recent poll 95% of adoptees loathe that term, can make a child feel they can’t express concern about their adoption or ask about their biological family and love their adoptive parents simultaneously. Books claiming the adoptee child belongs with his adoptive parents is pure propaganda when 95% to 97% of out of family infant adoptions are preventable in the United States. Children’s books that refer to a baby as “our baby” before an adoption form has even been signed and do not promote family preservation. Telling adopted children they had to be flown far away to come home. I’m not negating the fact that America, or Canada, or wherever is now their home. I’m just proving a fact that these propaganda adoption books for children are keystones for cultural genocide. They neglect the fact the child or baby in majority of cases had a home. Children’s adoption books celebrate adoption and force the child to smack a smile on their face and never question the practices of adoption. For a child to be brainwashed for as long as possible into thinking his adoption is the coolest thing since Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Boy oh boy is he in for a rude awakening.

Well, we all have to become awakened.

Television Commercials Will Only Show A Certain Side or Certain Kind of Adoption.

The media, as we all know, has a big influence on people. I remember learning about that in my high school health classes in central New York when we had a project of looking at advertisements in magazines. The media of course can be a great thing, and I was fortunate once upon a time to hold the amazing job of being a nanny to the granddaughters of a billionaire in the media. A man who has done so much anonymously for the world’s poor. Trust me, some of the ultra rich do a lot of humanitarian assistance that you do not know about, and it’s not for the tax write offs. I’m getting on a tangent, but I’m allowed considering it’s twenty minutes to 3am and I really need to put my sleep schedule in order.

The media, however, wants to show adoption in only one way. Positive, and always positive. The news stories about children being murdered by their adopters do pop up, but then they are swamped down by the multibillion dollar adoption industry’s propaganda. Overall, overwhelmingly overall, the media wants to portray adoption only as positive. However, they take it a step further. The media wants to eliminate the biological mother and the biological father, or first mother and first father if you prefer to use those terms. I will write about children’s books as sort of a sequel to this article.

I wrote into a certain company that manufactures its product where I currently live. They are open to ideas, and I assumed they’d be open to an idea from a local. Previously, and in the not too distant past when I sent in my idea, they had already aired an adoption commercial.

So my idea went like this, the child is sitting at the table, using the product and his mother and father are there. The doorbell rings and it’s the child’s biological father coming to visit. His adoptive parents open the door with a smile, they mention something about an open adoption (portraying to the viewers that open adoptions should stay open and that not all biological dads are deadbeat jerks), and everyone sits down to enjoy the morning together. 

I mean after all surely this has to be a great idea. You’ve already made adoption commercials.

Nope. Oh no we can’t do that. That just wouldn’t be possible. That’s not what we’re aiming for. 

This company was open to any ideas. They didn’t specify and say we’re open to ideas involving your pooch or we’re open to ideas involving visiting a loved one in hospice. They said they were open to any idea.

This isn’t simply me complaining because my idea was rejected. I can live with rejected ideas. This is me showing proof that the media industry, along with companies who use the media industry, have an extreme bias in adoption, and want to eliminate the biological family. To many still the biological family is not supposed to exist because, somehow (throws hands up in air) that’s supposed to make everything honky dorey.

I no longer buy their product.

So, I dare my readers to submit ideas to different companies who use commercials to sell their products and ask them to show in their commercials or their magazine advertisments an adoptive family that also includes one or more biological family members in it which does not include adopting a biological sibling of the child they’ve previously adopted. It may not be an infamily adoption. I’ll be amazed if one actually accepts to do the idea because as we’ve seen all of the adopted children magically have no prior biological family or no biological family deemed worthy of being shown.