No, We Don’t Need Permission.

I’m strapped for cash, and I am at the point that I really wish I could be paid for my articles, my research, and my ability to reconnect families because I’ve been able to do it better than those who people pay thousands of dollars to to search for them when they mentally can’t take it anymore. I’d post more direct sources on these articles instead of telling readers to scroll down and read articles if I were paid (yes, were you use the subjunctive if you want things to be so, but they aren’t so).

Some states demand adult adoptees get written proof from their adoptive parents to search for their natural families.  I’m the type of person where I really do not care who you are. I will tell it like it is. Unless it’s a position where I could be killed. Certainly, if I lived in the time of the Soviet Union and the gulags, where tens of millions of Eastern Europeans were tortured, starved, and killed -or the lack of freedom of press and freedom of speech in China today- I would not be so bold as I am. Society far too long, be they Canadian or American, is so used to comfortable lies. Sorry, if I just happen to be “the bitch” who let’s you know what’s really happening.

I will go toe to toe with any person, powerful politician or not, who thinks it’s acceptable for adults to have to ask permission from their adoptive parents to search for their blood kin. It’s discrimination and degrading. Let’s also consider all of the massive problems asking for permission brings. My own adoptive father stated to me a year ago, September 2016, that most adoptive parents are self- centered. I know people whose adoptive parents don’t want them to search, not because they are protecting them from say a serial killer biological father, but because they have feelings of jealousy, of possessiveness, or of feeling the adoptee will leave them even if they did a good job parenting. Notions founded in fear or in selfishness. The loosely regulated, uncredentialed adoption industry, that has no oversight and profits $12 billion annually in the United States, paints an image of adoptive families always working out. In 2015, at least one hundred two to one hundred five adopted children were raped and murdered and/or murdered by their adoptive parents. Approximately, according to Reuters, twenty five thousand adopted children each year, most who don’t speak English and don’t know American culture, are resold in the United States, some on the black market to paedophiles. It happens in Canada too, but I have not found the statistics just yet. Many adopted children, and then adopted adults, end up being raised in abusive homes. Many grow up with a narcissistic parent. Many. I can’t emphasize this enough. Many. There’s also the pressure from society that says to the adoptive parents, “why allow your son or daughter to search. If they loved you, they wouldn’t search.” Searching and loving your good adoptive parents do go hand in hand. One can search, even form relationships with natural family members, and still love their adoptive parents very much.

Degrading adults to asking permission from their adoptive parents is something that every American should be aware of and appalled by. Not only is it discrimination and degradation to demand adults ask permission, but the fact they have to search in the first place is discrimination. Birthparent privacy is a myth. I’ve explained how far too many times, and at this point, I don’t want to repeat myself. There are articles far below explaining it. Sealed original birth certificates are pure discrimination and the automatic treatment of turning ten million, and counting, Americans and Canadians into second class citizens (and Brits, and French, and Greeks, and Italians). The fact, society is not ready to accept the fact that biological mothers are not helped by allowing them to stay in the closet, and that they need genuine help.

Ask yourself, why do you think adoptees deserve to be treated this way? Why do you feel adoptees should have to ask permission to do something that any other adult doesn’t need to ask permission for or the fact that non adopted adults always know their roots from day one. Limiting the freedom of adults and making them beg for permission in order to show they are at a lower level is called bullying.

As for begging in court, it’s still discrimination, degradation, and bullying. I have yet to see any court grant permission to unseal an original birth certificate in the United States. In fact, adoptees have died due to this denial. Currently, one adoptee is dying, her thirteen year old daughter is watching her own mother die a slow and terrible death, and the courts are denying her access to her true roots and her biological family when they could likely hold the answers to what would save her life.

No, we don’t need permission.


Another Miracle Bestowed on Me: My Aunt.

If you haven’t had the chance yet, please read my article entitled “There are Angels Among Us”. Miracles are not something of the past. They are here and now. Miracles are not twisted truths, or interpretations of things we wish. If you are reading this and you are atheist, I ask you to please keep an open mind. God, the true Christian God, works miracles not just for a very select few, but for many.

My whole life I wanted to find my biological mother. I called her my natural mother for most of my life, but seeing how an uncaring, heartless woman she is (to me) she has been demoted to the more cold term of biological mother. My childhood was very screwed up due to being a closed adoptee. While closed adoption is not seen as abuse on the lawbooks, yet, it sure is in the hearts and minds of those who endure it. She chose a closed adoption, therefore she chose for me a life of extreme stress, emotional torment, medical endangerment from not having biological family medical history, and discrimination. Her actions towards me prove she will never be a good mother to any of the many children (half siblings) she chose to have kept. Cruelty to one; be damned. I wish it weren’t this way, I never wanted it to be, but I must be strong and face facts.

At eighteen I started my search looking for her. I was duped into thinking she was a kind and loving natural mother, and a kind and loving person, because she left a letter asking to be found. I went on a thirteen year long ardurous journey that severely affected my sleep, social life, academic life. Anyone who is a closed adoptee, especially before ancestry DNA testing became popular, knows the hundreds of months you spend trying to put the pieces together.

When I found her, I found a coldhearted woman who was happy to have gotten rid of me. Who felt her college diploma was more important (I have that in writing) but then never used it. Who married a guy -who conveniently has the same name as my biological father (who is acting cowardly, but since he has no other children I don’t care) and popped out a surplus of kids. Cousins, uncles, adult siblings, etc all told to pretend I don’t exist and although I have that in writing, then either told lies or trying to put the blame on me by saying “why couldn’t you have remained her dirty secret”, “why didn’t you give her time to tell?” Because, as they knew, she never planned on telling. One sister tried to get to know me, but was manipulated or pressured into not, and from her email to me whilst I could be wrong it almost reads as if she’s saying I was conceived in rape. No, I was not. Furthermore, as I explained in two previous articles, rape conceived people don’t deserve to be killed through abortion or given away through adoption. Either is blaming the child for actions they never committed. I had a cousin who was my friend, and my biological mother and possibly a biological uncle (I have this in writing) told her in order to respect them, she must pretend I don’t exist. They live in such dysfunctional shit they can’t even smell the shit anymore. They had the opportunity to have gotten to know a daughter, sister, niece, who loved them, who could make them laugh, help them out. I outed them, and they deserved every bit of it. When I have nuns and police on my side, there are no two sides to this. They behaved badly. If they show true repentance then I’ll forgive and consider. We live in a society too that feels treating adopted people like this is acceptable. I might be a bit self centered saying this, but I’m proud to be decades ahead of society in knowing this behaviour is grotesque. As for my biological grandparents, whom I was told kicked her out for getting pregnant, since they never repented for what they did to her, and especially to me, they are very likely burning in hell. At least I hope they asked for God’s forgiveness when they died and that they aren’t in hell.

So, as you can see this is what makes the miracle even stronger and even more lovely to have received. At this point, I don’t have written or video etc proof of the prayer leading to the miracle, so you will have to just believe me. All proof I can say is that yes my aunt does exist, and yes she acts like I exist, and I love her and she loves me. My proof is also in the fact that my story, how the miracle came to be, does not falter. So how did my aunt come into my life?

First, it’s important to keep something in mind. After dealing with such terrible treatment from my biological maternal side, I have no idea what my biological father endured. I didn’t search for him, but I have found out who he is, and currently he could be in a state of shock. Yes, he might be a coward, but for now I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he might be just scared. Or it could be the fact that, like millions of biological mothers and fathers, he is in need of therapy. That isn’t said in a bad or mean way, but society has made losing a child to adoption as something good when it’s actually a heartbreaking occurrence. So many damaged minds and twisted souls. Maybe therapy would free my biological mother too from her bad thinking.

Well, let’s get to the point. At the beginning of August, God told me when I was in prayer to pray when walking outside for five days in a row and not to miss a day. This included praying on the fifth day after a seven hour car ride home. I was told to pray in a certain language (not English), outside in a certain place, walking a certain amount. I was told a great miracle would come to me. So I performed the prayer from the first Monday of August 2017 to that Friday. Miracles don’t necessarily come fifteen seconds later. The following weekend I was driving home with my adoptive parents (who are strong advocates for adoptee rights) and we had an hour left in the car. I had been half dozing in the back on our three hour ride home from visiting friends through the pouring rain at night. We got to a spot and I offered to drive from there, an hour left to our home, but my mum said she’d keep driving because it was raining. So I decided to check my email on my phone. There was a message from someone from So I checked it out and wrote her back. It was so nice to get such a lovely email, especially after a maternal great aunt (sister of biological grandfather) immediately blocked me on there with no explanation of why, but no explanation is needed. I already know the answer, they don’t know how to love. Oh what joy that original email gave me. The next day, the second Sunday of August 2017, it was confirmed that she is my natural paternal aunt.

The fact that I was told by God to pray and that something great would happen to me and for my paternal aunt to find me a week later is nothing short of a miracle, especially when you learn my aunt thought I had been aborted. She never knew I was alive. The nice thing to is my aunt will be in my life forever. I also have been blessed with meeting other paternal relatives and they have been most wonderful. (It’s also important to keep in mind, two second cousins on my maternal side and many far extended cousins have stuck by my side, and for one of the second cousins that has meant being excluded from the family for acting like I exist).

My aunt is like a lit candle in a dark room. What joy she has brought. I think God brought her into my life at the perfect time, God’s time.



Why All Adoptees and Biological Family Members Need to Take Acting Lessons.

All adoptees, every single adoptee is an actor. Those of us who are stuck in the closed adoptee role, get the harder roles, but that just makes us better actors and actresses. While closed adoption on the law books isn’t seen as abuse (yet), to those stuck in a closed adoption we know in our hearts and minds that it is abuse.

Adoption is acting. There is no other way around this. The very act of sealing the original birth certificate forces the adoptee into the play role of supporting actor or actress who supports the adoptive parents in their fulfillment to raise a child. The adoptee plays the supporting actor or actress and pretends that they were naturally born from their adoptive mother, or even more ironically from one of their gay fathers, because that’s what an amended birth certificate says to do. Once you play the role of adoptee, a role you are given without a choice, you become a commodity perhaps not by your adoptive family, but you certainly are a commodity. Your job, as the adoptee, is to pretend you were naturally birthed by those who adopted you even when it scientifically makes no sense, and it never scientifically makes any sense.

Being adopted, for the vast majority of adoptees (over 99%) you’re stripped of your cultures and heritages, and for some that include their native language. In newly found colonialism, children of color are adopted by “saving” White people who insist on Europeanising, Canadianising, or Americanising them and then saying, “well, will teach them their native culture if they’re interested….later on.” Adoptees are forced to act like we never had a prior language, a prior culture, a prior heritage, a prior race.

Pretend this is your mother. Pretend you had no other mother. Pretend you’re Swedish, forget that you were born in China. Pretend you are White. Pretend you are always happy. Oh yes, right since the unicorns are farting rainbows, all adoptees must pretend to be happy.

Keep pretending. You adoptees do it all so well or perhaps you all suck at it knowing nearly every adoptee has depression and anxiety, and the suicide rate of adoptees is four times higher than non adoptees in the US, and elevated suicide rates the world over.

When you’re acting you don’t want to look like you’re acting. Never act to act. People should look at your character and wonder what will they do next. If they think, “wow, he’s a good actor” as you’re acting, then you suck.

So what makes adoptees naturally born actors? We are forced into the roles. Pretty much what I’ve been saying all along. We are forced- through no will of our own unless we willingly wanted to be adopted by a stepparent or by a foster parent who saved us from abuse which is not the majority of adoptions- from day one to take on a completely different role. A new name, a new identity, a new heritage, a new land, a new language (for some), a new family, a new home, a new way of doing. Everything is an act. All those news, just pretend they were as normal as what you would have been and what would have been had you remained with your natural family. Everything is act.

Some adoptees play their roles so well, they don’t even know they’re acting. Adoptees play roles to fulfill others’ needs whether that’s a self absorped infertile couple (and my own adoptive dad says most who adopt today are self centered) or a narcissistic first mother who gave you away to fulfill her own wants.

In acting, you become an entirely new person. You’re assigned a role, and that is who you become within every fibre of your being. In adoption you’re assigned a role. The difference is after work is over with acting you can go back to being yourself. Adoptees do not get that luxury. Adoptees are forever being someone they are forced to be because they were forced to be adopted. After discovering their original name and roots, if they ever do, they are then forced to play two roles, two lives, two names.

Adoptees by far get the short end of the stick, but on the other end of the broom handle are biological family members. They too play their acting roles in their every day lives. Although the difference for them is that it’s a choice.

Pretend this isn’t your nephew.

Pretend this isn’t your niece.

Pretend this isn’t your child. Many do this today to keep their open adoptions open. Although some chose closed adoptions because they are either heartless and self-centered or because they were tricked into thinking they would actually forget about their child, and the more they tell others to pretend their child doesn’t exist, the more they damaged they become, the more damage they cause to others.

Pretend this isn’t your grandchild.

Pretend this isn’t your brother.

Pretend this isn’t your sister.

The adoptee can’t choose their role. The biological family can choose whether or not they want to act. Too many play the role of Princess Aurora, sleeping, waiting for Prince Reality Check to come and wake them from Malificient Adoption Industry.

There’s a third side to all of this acting. Pretend this is your brother, pretend this is your sister, pretend this is your cousin within the adoptive family. Most say, “this is my brother/sister/cousin” when gaining a sibling through adoption, even of a different race, but for many it doesn’t feel natural. My brother, whom I’ve never been close to and hear from maybe three times a year and see less than once a year, would always say when we were kids, “this is my sister. We’re adopted, so we’re not really related”. I recently came across a woman who said her parents constantly adopted kids who major behavior problems and it would seem like every so often she was having to call yet another person in her house her brother or sister because they were adopted without getting time to form a bond with them or frankly being afraid of them. (Although these were abused, older kids out of the foster system and I am all in favor of finding these kids permanent, loving homes but I can see her perspective).

Adoptees deal with a lot, lot more nos in their lives than non-adoptees so they are already prepped for the many nos they’ll receive from literary agents, publishers, and casting directors. While others would feel heartbroken after their 90th no in an audition, an adoptee keeps on trying knowing the nos in their personal life have been a thousand times harder.

Acting is the ability to connect with someone who you’re not to the point you think you are that person. That’s what adoptees do.


Why Politicians Won’t Unseal Original Birth Certificates.

A month ago I said I was done writing articles for this blog of mine until next year. I see that is impossible for me to stop, so when I am in the mood I’ll post. I will be writing an article at some point about how I hate how the unsealing original birth certificates with strings attached is making things worse, and how people should go through DNA searching. Don’t jump to conclusions, I’m all for unsealing adoption records and unsealing original birth certificates. I’ll explain more in another article.

Why do many politicians refuse to have original birth certificates unsealed? Do you really think it’s about privacy. Can we please stop bringing up the privacy myth? How many first mothers, first fathers, and adoptees is it going to take for the rest of American and Canadian societies to comprehend the fact that the sealing never took place due to confidentiality nor privacy. Not once. Not ever. Original birth certificates are not sealed until the adoption is finalized. If a baby is given away (because I don’t sugarcoat and call it an adoption plan, if you didn’t go home with your baby you gave him or her away) and ends up growing up in foster care he or she keeps his or her original birth certificate making privacy null and void. If it were about privacy, and it’s not, the obc would not have been made in the first place such as the case with those created through anonymous sperm donors, which I strongly disagree with (how anonymous sperm donor created people are treated).

So, why were they sealed and why in the vast majority of US states and Canadian provinces do they continue to be sealed, including in life or death situations?

Well, there’s a few reasons. Privacy never being one of them. Plus, if one is trying to hide from their own child that’s pretty disgusting, shallow, and immature. I’ve already explain such behavior is consciously and/or subconsciously blaming the adopted out son or daughter for the problems of the conception, pregnancy, birth, and what followed afterwards.

A big reason is because there are high influential people out there, such as judges, priests, pastors, lawyers, and politicians, who had extramarital affairs or got an underage girl pregnant and they don’t want to be found. Of course, names could never be posted because they’d come at you with a lawsuit. Nevertheless, they exist or they existed.

It’s the same reason many support “women’s rights” to kill their unborn children through sugarcoated words like “women’s rights” (what about the right of the unborn girl?) and “abortion”.

Nuns getting pregnant by priests. Judges covering up for themselves. Politicians covering up for a friend, etc. it happens. Are you surprised? Dr. Martha Stout of Harvard Medical School stated 1 in 25 Americans is a psychopath and that many are in positions of power.

Now, it’s important to know I am not painting a wide brush across lawyers, judges, politicians, and priests. Most are good, moral people who aren’t getting underage girls pregnant and are not having an affair. I am pointing out though that there are immoral people in these professions, and since there are they are going to do everything possible to cover their own ass or the ass of their friend or family member to make sure they’re never found, but at this point it’s trying to catch a wet pig in a muddy pen for them because of DNA testing sites such as Family Tree DNA and Could that be why now states and provinces such as Manitoba and New Jersey have put in the ability for an adoptee’s original birth certificate to be vetoed by their biological mother? Women who live decades with extreme shame for getting pregnant, instead of putting the blame on the influential, man in power who got her pregnant, and then conveniently we as a society ignore this issue.

It’s the same with abortion. How many politicians, like Tim Murphy who falsely claimed to be pro-life, told their extra marital affair partner to have an abortion? I don’t know, but I’m willing to bet he’s not the first.

Ask yourself why adoption agencies and abortion clinics have done nothing to investigate this?

Oh right, money. That’s why.

When New Jersey was fighting for their original birth certificates, which passed into law January 2017, the Catholic Church of New Jersey fought long and hard to get first mothers to veto telling them of their “privacy” of which there has never been. Now, ask yourself why the Catholic Church (and it’s not the only church) would be so adament to get mothers of adoption loss to not want to be found? To live in their shame, and not address the pain deep inside of them. Could it be possibly because…..

they’re covering for others?

“I think thou doth protest too much”.


I am a Christian, but it doesn’t mean I lie and make the Christian church always look good. It has a lot to atone for, as do adoption agencies, abortion clinics, and those supporting them.


My Maternal Biological Family Hates Me for Being Born and How I’m Turning That Into Something Positive

Sometimes in life we can’t understand, logically, why things turned out the way they did. I was asked in a letter to be found. I spent thirteen years and a whole lot of dollars trying to find my biological family. Before that, like the vast majority of adoptees, I looked around whenever I was in Rochester, NY for people who looked like me. (Although funny many in my biological family don’t look like me).

When I finally did find them I came across a completely unempathetic family. Relatives of mine who could care less of the discrimination closed adoptees go through. I learned I didn’t come from a poor family that had to give me away so I wouldn’t starve, etc. I came from a ginormous family with plenty of married, middle class people. Bottom line I learned, without a doubt, that I am and always have been unloved and unwanted. I am hated, not because I’ve done anything wrong, but because I was born and because I breathe air.

Sure, after nearly two years of being nice I let them have it. Not because I’m some terrible person but because we all have a breaking point. Trying to be nice, trying to inform them of the list of discrimination we go through, praying for them, nuns praying for them, nuns and police saying their behavior needs to change. Nothing ever worked. They just think it’s fine to treat someone as if they don’t exist simply because they are adopted. Sometimes we learn in life we are related to unkind people (those of you who grew up in a home with child abuse are well aware of this fact). Since I lost my temper and outed them to their friends and called my biological mother a heartless (cuss word) I will always be seen as the bad guy, but isn’t that just the case, someone pressing your buttons until you explode and then looks at you like something is wrong with you? I’m sure many of you are nodding your head.

I have everything in writing so I can prove they were and are fine with me being a dirty secret, not a human being to be treated as an equal, but a dirty secret, and no adoptee is an equal under the eyes of the law in most states. How someone can have it on paper that they felt a college diploma, a piece of paper, was more important than being a mother and then actually never use their degree, and then pop out numerous siblings of mine and teach them (the ones who are adults that I told them of my existence) to not talk to me. It’ll never make sense because illogical thing don’t make sense. You see I will always be blamed, hated, ignored, unwanted and unloved because I was conceived and born, rather than those who are at fault-those who didn’t help out when they should have.

Society, my biological family (minus one close cousin and extended cousins), other biological families, and some adoptive families have a very long way to go in how they treat adoptees. Adoptees are expected to pretend not to care about their roots, adoptees are expected to be happy all of the time when our suicide rates are four times higher than that of non adopted folks. Society has to stop learning that adoptees are not commodities nor are we dirty secrets and this is a bigger problem in Rochester than in southern Ontario, Buffalo, Syracuse, or New York City from my experiences.

There were those who even tried to be my friend, such as a first cousin, who was then told by either my biological uncle or my biological mother (I have this in writing) to pretend I don’t exist and stop talking to me in order to respect them. That was December 2015. You respect someone by highly disrespecting someone else? Although one must wonder how she ended up marrying an adoptee when she treats her own adoptee cousin so poorly.

I wrote this article up last night, and I decided to rewrite it with a change. There is a first mother who has inspired me to make a difference. Her name is Linda Gale from Washington State and she has spiritually adopted me as her birth child. Trust me, hundreds of first mothers are sickened with how my reunion turned out, along with Catholic nuns I know, and my local police department (my sexy local police department, but that’s a story for another day) who said “their behavior is shameful” and “it’s too bad you couldn’t pick a different (biological) family”. I sort of did, I picked Linda Gale as a positive substitute.

I want to try and take something that is so painful and so barbaric and turn it into something good.

Be the change you wish to see, as the saying goes.

If you are or were, like myself, unloved, abused, unwanted, neglected, etc by your family whether that’s your blood family you’re raised in, your blood family you found, or your adoptive family please email me at and give me your PO Box (you’ll need to set up a PO Box). I’ll send you something nice in the mail to cheer you up. The only thing I ask is that when you receive what I’ll send in the mail that you post a photo on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, WordPress, whatever you use) with the hashtag #Iamloved  This also includes first mothers and first fathers who are treated badly by their adopted out child. Sadly, there are those adoptees who themselves are brainwashed to think adoption is all unicorns pooping rainbows, or feel petrified to get to know you thinking it will offend their adoptive parents or knowing it will (because as my adoptive father says many who adopt are self centered and don’t realize their child has more than one family) or feeling that you abandoned them and don’t understand if you searched you most definitely didn’t.

Oh, and there’s one more thing. When you get your surprise in your mail (your PO Box, I don’t need to know where you live) I ask you to find others that are like us, the throwouts, and send them something nice as well asking them to do the same hashtag. Yes, let’s make this go worldwide. Let’s spread love and kindness to those who need it most, and maybe we will drop the suicide rate of adoptees. Don’t be shy. I’ll send you something lovely, all you need to do is email me your story and send your PO Box address. Right now I’m able to help those in the States and in Canada.



Why Adoptee Rights’, Adoption Reform Activists, and Prolifers Must Be Vegans, and Why Vegans Must Join the Adoptee Rights’ and Adoption Reform Movement.

That is a long title, hence it’ll be a long topic. So long, in fact, that I could make a book out of it, so for this article I am only going to brush the surface of the glacier of topics of why that title is true so as not to overwhelm my readers.

First, if you’re new to the blog I need you to scroll down and read the following articles first. This way you’re on board and truly understanding everything I am saying without your own unintentionally, but nevertheless, ignorant thoughts.

  1. Your Little Girl Can Give Away Her Baby in Secret.
  2. The Adoption Industry Strips Fathers of Their Rights.
  3. You Were Very Likely Subtly Coerced Into Adoption.
  4. We Are All Adopted by God, But We Are Not All Adoptees.
  5. Who Can Start An Adoption Business?
  6. Take the Money Out of Adoption Just Like Australia Did.
  7. Birthparent Privacy is A Myth or Unseal Original Birth Certificates. (*Titles may not be exact).
  8. Stop Saying If A Woman Doesn’t Want Her Baby.

PETA created the photo used in this article and it couldn’t be more true. Yet, PETA -bless them- is unaware how much this photo and how much their cause mirrors that of adoptee rights and adoption reform and same goes for activists fighting for original birth certificates, family preservation, medical information, rights for men, the ending of sexism in the adoption industry and so much more.

Recently I became a vegan after learning that dairy cows are also slaughtered. I always knew that male baby cows are killed for veal or the runts are killed for veal so I stopped eating veal several years ago, except for one slip up (I’m sorry). What I wasn’t aware of, and eventually learnt, like you are now is that heifers (female adult dairy cows) are repeatedly impregnated through machines, give birth, and then their babies are forcibly taken away from them in order to make milk to make a profit. If you think this is no big deal and have heard phrases like “they are separated so they don’t step on their babies” I entice you to please watch videos of heifers crying for days for their babies both in tears and in depressing moos. Mother cows who will run, if possible, after the trucks taking away their babies and mother cows on animal sanctuaries who hide their babies because they’re afraid that one too will be taken away. Not to mention, although I am a genius in some respects I feel so dumb not stopping and thinking, cow’s milk is made and meant only for baby cows. 

We could flip this around and look at meat. Yesterday I had an appointment with my new doctor who said to me, and I quote, “don’t eat red meat. It only makes you fat.” I used to be underweight and now I am overweight. I’ve been ordered to completely cut out red meat. Studies have shown that a vegan diet does make you lose weight and vegans, unlike meat eating people (and I used to be one), do not have heart attacks. (*Please order a free Vegan Starter Kit from PETA to learn more). So, let’s look at meat. It’s the same issue. Mother and baby are forcibly separated from each other. A family is torn apart in order for someone to make a profit.

Now, I am not bashing farmers. I believe in FarmAid and I have respect for family farms, but up to a certain point now as I am learning the truth. I certainly don’t have and never had respect for factory farms. Farmers can make the humane and loving, and environmentally friendly, choice of stopping animal husbandry and become farmers of vegetables, nuts, beans, and fruits.

Us forwarding thinking, intelligent, and totally with it adoption activists understand that a baby should not be taken away from his mother and a mother from her baby. You remove the crisis, you don’t remove the child from his mother and mother from her child. Why don’t you think animals deserve the same?

In fact, don’t human babies deserve the same? People have been conditioned to believe they are doing someone a favour by taking away their baby. People have been conditioned to think these babies are unwanted. Yes, I understand there are abused and neglected children in this world. I’ve mentored, volunteered and worked with abused children. Here I am talking about those babies not neglected, not abused.

I’ll say it once again. It’s time to remove the crisis from the mother, not her baby. The adoption industry is a profit driven industry. In the US alone it racked in $12 billion in 2015. Blacks are priced lower than Whites. Males are priced lower than females. It’s a supply and demand situation. An infertile couple, whether because they are homosexual or because they are physically infertile, desire a baby. A first mother or first father wants her or his baby, a potential adopting person wants any baby. Infertile couples are lied to by the industry and told this will eliminate the pain of infertility. It won’t. It then becomes the adoptee’s lifelong responsibility to play the role of their biological child.

It’s time society stop finding it ethical to separate babies from their mothers regardless of the species. This separation comes down to one point. Self-centeredness.

You may not like what I say but it’s true. You’re self-centered. Look, I used to be self-centered too. I had a thought that because I love the taste of cheese that I deserve it. That isn’t enough. I want cheese, but I don’t need it. You want a baby, but you don’t need one. An infertile person grieves the loss of a baby never created. A first parent grieves the loss of a baby that they created, for life. It’s few and far between you get adoptive parents like mine who now realize the many lies told in the adoption industry and who fight for full equality for adoptees. Most continue to be self-centered, many guilt trip their children into not searching for biological family.

You have to step back and think mothers and babies are being separated so two industries, the factory farming industry, and the adoption industry can make a multibillion dollar profit annually.

Do you think these industries are regulated? Do you think there is oversight in either of these industries? There’s not. The farm factory industry has no regulation on sanitation. The adoption industry is loosely regulated and has no oversight so not all children are placed in good homes. In fact, in 2015 102 to 105 adopted children were raped and murdered or murdered by their adoptive “parents” here in the United States. Using organic meat and dairy makes no difference. It’s still forced separation, it’s still killing.

I know there will still be some that say “this is a weak argument” whether it’s to go vegan and/or to promote family preservation of human babies. Sorry, I can’t fix those who willingly want to remain ignorant. I hope in time everyone learns.

I am also pro-life because adoption is not the answer to abortion as I discussed in a previous article. Yes, I am prolife even in the cases of rape and no I do not believe in out of family adoption for rape conceived babies either. I won’t get into why here, it’s been discussed. I stopped and thought, how can I call myself pro-life and continue to eat animals? I was being hypocritical and if you’re prolife so are you.

Do you deserve someone else’s baby at the cost of someone’s happiness?

The Stork Market by Mirah Riben

Adoption Healing by Joe Soll





It’s Not the Child’s Fault

We live in a sinful world, but that doesn’t mean we have to follow sinful ways. All of us sin, and in the eyes of God, all sins are equal. Fortunately, His Son, Jesus Christ (and called other names in other languages) saved us from our sins when he was tormented and died a brutal death on Calvary. What does this mean? It doesn’t mean we can be doing evil deeds with no remorse or guilt. It means that when we do seek forgiveness, our Brother Jesus is there ready and willing to say, “it’s okay. I forgive you. That is why I died for you.” You can make an appointment with a priest, nun, minister, or pastor to learn more.

One way in which we sin is when we say “abortion should be illegal except in the cases of rape and incest.” The moment you not only say that but think that you have committed a grievous sin. You have decided to play the role of our Lord and decide who should live and who should die. No child deserves to die for the sins of her or his father.

In a previous article, I posted videos of what an abortion is like to help steer away people from this abhorrent sin. I do not judge. I welcome all to Project Rachel that helps comfort women who have committed an abortion. When a child’s father has committed a bank robbery we do not harm the child. When the infant’s father has physically beat her mother we do not harm the child. When the father has raped the mother, we kill the child.

Do you not think those previous sins have not hurt the baby’s mother?

We must focus on the Word on what it says about our precious, better than jewels, babies. When we stand in the Word, there is no room for the Devil. Trust in Him. Smile in Him and know that even in the most violent situations that God has a plan for you and for your child. Read your Bible and like Kenneth Copeland says the Word is no use when tucked away. If you stare at your belly in the mirror and your child is in there kicking focusing on quotes from the Bible, there will be no room in your heart for abortion.

Here let me help you!

You are a Child of God…. You are wonderfully made, dearly loved, and precious in His sight. Before God made you, He knew you…there is no one else like you! Psalm 139

Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17

I am a gift from God. Micah

Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from Him. Psalms 127:3

They are like the angels, they are God’s children. Luke 20:36

I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord. Isaiah 66:9

Focus on these words. Stick them on your mirror and refrigerator.

Pray for those women who conceive in rape. Pray even for those little girls who conceive in rape. But pray more than anything for those babies conceived in rape. For they are given the punishment of death or being cast out from their families through no fault of their own, through the sins of their father. We as a society have to stop blaming the baby!

Cast out? Yes. Why must an infant child be cast out from her or his family through the means of adoption because of the sins of their fathers? No original birth certificate, no playing with other brothers and sisters, no love from the mother because her mother has been taught by incorrect, but well- meaning counselors of the flesh that her baby will only be a painful reminder of the occurring events of the past. But with God….!

But with God, all mothers will know their babies are gifts from Him. Unmarried, teenagers, abused, very elderly, sickly and pregnant, have cancer and pregnant, conceived in a threesome in the gay lifestyle, etc. Our sin, their sin, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how babies come into this world, they are a gift from Him!

Every time I think of you I give thanks to my God. Philippians 1:3

Why would God make you have a child through the means of violence? He wouldn’t. That’s the devil’s work (the violence), the rose God gave you is your child. Keep him. Love her or him. Share in their joys, peals of laughter, tribulations, and triumphs. You are about to birth a child of God….

not the child of the Devil.



Thank You.

Two simple words that sure mean a lot, thank you. Merci, obrigada, toda, shukran, asante sana, tak, takk, danke, spacibo (because I can’t do Cyrillic), dzienkuje, grazie, gracies, gracias, kiitos, mersi, nya:weh, and so on and so forth.

I know it’s going to shock my readers because I think everyone, whether they like the stuff I write here or not, thinks I can only find bad things with adoption. Now, don’t get me wrong. I find 95% of infant and toddler adoptions to be unnecessary and if you wonder why I recommend reading a lot of my previous articles.

I’m not jumping on the unicorn, nor will I ever, saying adoption is a wonderful thing. Not when adoptee suicide rates are four times higher than the rest of society’s, not when natural mothers have PTSD and are forced to pretend like everything is A-okay. Nor when the adoption empire is making $12 billion in annual revenue but adopted children every year are being murdered by their adopters, and one child murdered is one too many. This and many more reasons I’ve written about and many I have yet to write about are why you’ll never hear me tell the lie adoption is wonderful when looking at the big picture.

But tonight, just this once I feel the need to give a thank you to those who deserve the recognition of taking in children with very tough backgrounds.

Stepparents and those who adopt abused children, true orphans, ex child soldiers, and neglected children, especially extremely hard to place teenagers and extremely hard to place children with severe emotional problems deserve to be recognized by society for opening their hearts and homes. I have worked with such populations, trust me it is extremely, extremely hard work and to bring them into your home to love and raise and become your own makes you a saint in my eyes.

Now, yes I am well aware there are nasty step parents out there. I’m aware that most children labelled orphan in this world are not orphans, and I know that the foster system is incredibly corrupt and falsely accuses parents and grandparents of child abuse both in Canada and the States. Tonight I’m not talking about those cases. Tonight it’s solely about step parents (I prefer how they say belle mère and beau père in French) who have stepped in and adopted their wife’s or husband’s child(ren) when the biological parent has been a deadbeat or abusive. I give thanks and appreciation to those who have adopted children who are truly orphans, who have lost their families to war, genocide, famine, catastrophic weather or disease. Now, I won’t change my mind on an article I wrote earlier this month that adoption is a band-aid solution to a country’s problems and that when it comes to adopting we can do so much more for a society by creating grassroots programmes to change that society’s perspective on orphans, rape conceived babies, girls, special needs children, and women. Giving $38,000 to educate a village of girls and build them a school in say, Moldova or India, goes a lot farther in bettering the lives of a whole community than adoption just one child for the same price. Nevertheless, as I spoke in a previous article from this month those societal changes are not going to just happen overnight. As we work for grassroots local changes (and this is not about ethnocentricity, it’s about the fact if we give women and girls more education and more rights in developing nations there will be a huge decline in international adoption and that’s a good thing) there are going to continue to be children who simply cannot go back with their biological family sometimes for reasons that are very unfair to the child, but going back under current conditions could lead to grim results. Currently, there are children in this world who are withering, literally withering away, in orphanages because they are disabled, there are children in some remote areas of Africa who are being starved to death because uneducated shamans are telling townsfolk they’re witches. There are children in Europe and South America who are living in sewers and huffing glue. There are girls, and boys, across the world who were rescued from sex trafficking who have extreme mental health concerns. I give thanks to those who adopted these children with extreme issues and extreme pasts. You looked for a child who needed a home whether they are from your country or from abroad, instead of looking to take someone’s non-addicted born baby away like the many selfish adopters out there who will adopt a foster teenager’s baby and leave the teenager in foster care or get their hands on your baby and then close the open adoption right away or pay $28,000 for your baby but not give you the money or ask why your suburban middle class parents aren’t being more supportive. Yes, I’m aware of the problems with international adoption. I’m aware there is barely any regulations and because of this Asian children have been, and continue to be, adopted by paedophiles, and it makes me want to vomit. Obviously, I’m not being blind to the concerns nor would I ever thank a bunch of child abusers who I wish got the death penalty for harming children.  Thank you to those of you who decided to adopt a child should never be to

Yes, I’m aware of the problems with international adoption. I’m aware there is barely any regulations and because of this Asian children have been, and continue to be, adopted by paedophiles, and it makes me want to vomit. Obviously, I’m not being blind to the concerns nor would I ever thank a bunch of child abusers who I wish got the death penalty for harming children.  Thank you to those of you who decided to adopt a child never be to fulfill your needs (ie healthy baby) but to fulfill the needs of a child (ie abused child). An even bigger thank you if you do all you care to try and improve your adopted child’s home city or home country.

Thank you to those of you who decided to adopt a child who came from such an incredibly hard background. An even bigger thank you if you do all you care to try and improve your adopted child’s home city or home country. Thank you to stepparents who stepped in and became the Mom or the Dad.

Yes, I think adoptions, including these, should never seal the original birth certificate.

PS. I wrote this when very exhausted.

If people wonder about my own adoption, my adoptive parents have learned a lot over the years. A lot of truths. We learned on my biological mother’s side there were plenty of middle class, married, stable family members of mine that could have taken me in so I wasn’t removed from the family. We learned my biological  maternal grandparents had the money and the space but decided instead not to help my first mother and me for negative, unkind reasons. My parents even asked for an open adoption, and they would have kept it open, but my first mother was lied to and was told a closed adoption would make her forget her child. She is very cold to me because I refused to be her dirty secret, but she can play pretend all she wants, she definitely never forgot me. So, no I don’t see my adoptive parents as selfish. I think there are adoptive parents out there who yes are being selfish but not because they’re bad people but because nobody stopped them and told them, for example, look the goal is to remove the crisis not the baby from his mother, and yes there are adopters (my term for bad adoptive couples) who are truly selfish like those who swear they’ll do an open adoption and then run off to another state and change their email addresses.

Tonight though, and for always, let’s stop and reflect and give thanks to those who took in a child who had they stayed in their orphanage or on the streets or in their abusive biological home would have never flourished let alone survived.

Whites Aren’t the Only Racist People. A Look at Adoption Out of Korea in the 1950s and 1960s.

Oh, let’s see how many far left liberals I piss off with this article. Truth hurts, doesn’t it? You often hear from far left liberal that only White people can be racist. You also hear the myth about White privilege. After being followed around in an art museum (mind you owned by my former neighbours who passed away) by a woman of colour, after working in a predominately Black school where a White child was beat up for being White, and after working with White children so poor they were living in barns and cars in a New York State winter we can put that myth aside.

You often hear, wrongly, from far left liberals that Whites are in a position of power and therefore only Whites can be racist. Nothing could be further from the truth and this article on race, war, international relations, and adoption will prove it. Sorry liberal universities, you’re about to take a seat.

During the Korean War, GIs when not engaged in combat were often having sex with the local native women. I’m sure, disgustingly, some even engaged in sexual assault. Korean culture during the 1950s, and after the Korean War in the 1960s, not only looked down upon biracial people but wanted them exterminated!

Under Korean law, any child born in Korea could not be shipped out of Korea. In fact, to save the life of one biracial Korean/White baby it took a Catholic priest and nun to play a hand of poker and get a Korean immigration official completely plastered.

So why the extreme need to save this child’s life (whose name is now Daniel Keenan and was named George Cruz by the US Navy who took care of him on the USS Point Cruz)? Biracial babies were literally starved to death in Korea. Biracial babies were seen, by Korean society, as such a monstrosity that when the US Navy found this biracial baby in a garbage heap the Korean workers at the orphanage refused to feed him, and thought he should die. Thus, he was brought on board where 1,000 sailors got glimpses of baby George (then renamed Daniel) and some got to rock him, hold him, feed him, and change him.

You have to be an extreme racist to feel the need to murder a baby through the slow torture of starvation, and you have to be-pardon my language-utterly fucked up in the head. I cannot fault whoever his first mother is because she knew that no matter where she put her baby he was going to starve to death because he’s mixed race, and she knew babies born in Korea are not let out.

How many biracial babies and children died in Korea in the 1950s and 1960s through the racist actions of a nation? I always say if absolutely nobody in the family can raise the baby, and there has been signs of severe abuse or neglect, then go the adoption route (without sealing one’s original birth certificate and keeping medical information away from them).  As stated in a previous article, it’s grassroots efforts that are needed to implement change. Adoption is a plaster solution to a society’s gaping wound.

That’s precisely what happened in South Korea. Grassroots efforts took hold. Although many Koreans, including many Korean adoptees, feel people should date within their own race they no longer murder babies who are born of mixed race. You can think what you want. I know people who are Chinese, Korean, Native American/First Nations, and White who refuse to date outside of their race from “because my Mom wouldn’t approve” to “I’m only sexually attracted to my own kind.” “to Native Americans/Whites only make up a small percentage on this globe and I want to expand that number.” I also know people who have children of biracial background. Do what you want, believe what you believe, but bottom line the fact people were killing children for how they look is ghastly.

So the next time a far left liberal wants to tell you only Whites are racist remind them of the biracial babies left to die because of who their parents were.

Did adoption of the rescued biracial babies and children end in a win win for these biracial Korean born adoptees? Not entirely. They too face a lot of discrimination and many were never granted US citizenship and are now facing deportation (read my article on 15,000 Koreans At Risk for Deportation With Some Deported Under Trump).


There Are Angels Among Us.

If we pause, we can know that there are angels among us. We may not feel like it, but angels are often with us during our most troubling times. In fact, the songwriter There Are Angels Among Us, later performed by the band Alabama, wrote the song after living a miracle. She had a dream and in her dream a deep male voice told her this might be her last birthday, and in that dream she had a dream of a specific location. Later on, her and her boyfriend or husband were driving and came to that actual location in rural California. She screamed for him to stop, and he slammed the brakes. A few second later a semi came roaring by that would have killed them. She went home and wrote the song. Her story can be viewed on It’s a Miracle, a show from the 1990s.

They say small children can see angels. I remember when my family friend’s daughter was one (she’s almost seventeen now where does the time go) -who thankfully was not given away for adoption, but nearly was- and she started talking to her great grandma in the corner of their old house. She had never been told about her great grandmother before or that she died in the rocking chair and spot where she was talking to her.

It’s not only small children that can see or feel angels. I’ve never seen one, but I definitely can feel their presence. It has always been angels keeping me connected to my biological family on a spiritual level. I’m sure it makes the angels sad, like it does me, that they are pretending I don’t exist and being told to not talk to me simply because I exist. Nevertheless, the angels are there and I think they will never give up and I and the angels will never let the devil win who is keeping my first mother in fear and shame and refusing to talk to me and refusing to let others talk to me in our family, which has made my adoptive parents mad and sad. We must all pray things improve. God’s plan was never for us to separate (please see my note on God Has Nothing to Do With Out of Family Infant Adoption).

Well, what have these angels done? These goes well beyond scientific reasoning. Now, to protect the identity of my half siblings I am changing their names on here (I am using pseudonyms).

  1. I was never into dolls when I was young. However, when I was 5 years old for Mother’s Day I wanted a dolly of my own. I picked one with blonde hair and green eyes and named her Elena. At age 30, I would discover I have a sister Elena, born in the month of May when I was 5 1/2 years old with blonde hair and green eyes. Keep in mind I have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes.
  2. When I was adopted I was nearly given the name Shannon. My adoptive parents decided to give me the name I have. My mom strongly felt that Shannon was not meant to be yet, Shannon would come later. Shannon is my youngest half sister.
  3. In the year 2000 through the year 2002 I was instructed, by angels, to say “I love you, Matthew” every night before bed. I said it in English and in Italian. I kept to this strictly. I would learn at age 31 I have a half brother named Matthew born in 2000.
  4. In March 2015 I would have a dream. In that dream, I would get the entire story to write and be told to dedicate it to someone named Ruth. I would learn October 2015 I have a sister named Ruth who is born the same month as me. That story has turned into an eighteen chapter novel I am polishing up to send out to the publishers. The angels also instruct she gets a percentage of every book sold if it ever sells.
  5. In the late summer and early Fall 2015 I would be instructed to do anything I could to take the trip to Quebec City with my adoptive parents and at the Beaupré shrine a miracle would be performed for me, and that miracle would be St. Anne would find my first mother very quickly. After a thirteen year search, I found my first mother right after returning home from Quebec. Unfortunately, I wish she had been happier, and I hope she starts to stop being mad at me for existing as I am not responsible of  the events of the mid 1980s when I was born, and I hope she stops being mad I refused to be her dirty secret because you just don’t ask someone to play that role and God, Jesus,etc does not want that (even my atheist friends, who don’t know my biological name say that isn’t right), and I’m a nice daughter and she is my first mother. Remember we have to forgive when they start to treat me better.
  6. The night before my sister Rylie wrote me earlier this year I had a dream she was  holding my hand at a family chicken bbq and grinning ear to ear.

There are more angelic connections my adoptive mom remembers from when I was very little. I know there are unexplainable connections of the spirit between my first mother and I, the most sacred bond in the world is between biological mother and child, but I am having trouble remembering now because it’s after midnight and I falling asleep. I’ll add them in when I remember after some sleep. My adoptive mom says I was a special blessed child because of my autism and deep faith. Remember the angels are working hard to bring my first mother to healing and to accepting me back into the family (I’m honestly a lot more ticked off at my biological uncles) and when it happens we must congratulate her on overcoming the fear, shame, guilt, what have you that the devil has put between her and me. I’ll post more spiritual connections and I’ll ask my other mom about some she recalls.

Do I have any  spiritual connection stories to my biological father? No.

Do I have any spiritual connection stories to people on my paternal side? Not sure if she is on my paternal side but I keep having recurring strong themes and thoughts in prayer of a woman in her twenties who is the mother to a toddler aged daughter. I also have strong recurring thoughts in prayer one day I will have a special needs son. I sometimes can close my eyes and see people I’ve never met before crying, smiling, pointing at something. People I’ve never crossed paths with, never seen in a magazine etc. We’ll see.


(Several hours later).  I told you I’d remember more after sleep. While I don’t feel my biological uncles deserve a pseudonym because real men wouldn’t pretend their niece doesn’t exist and ignore my existence.  Yes, I am their niece. A piece of adoption paper doesn’t change my biology. I wrote an article before on subtle coercion language practices in the loosely regulated, uncredentialed $12 billion a year profiting adoption industry and one of them is to trick biological family members, especially mothers, into thinking “this isn’t your child” “this isn’t your niece” “this isn’t your grandchild”. I wrote an article on it a long time ago.  Anyway, let me get to the point and use a pseudonym for my uncle.

When I was three years old I had an imaginary friend. I would draw my imaginary friend on the wall including once with a permanent marker just after we had my bedroom walls painted. I would draw pictures of my imaginary friend. My imaginary friend when I was three was named Mitchell and he had a very round head. I come to learn I have an uncle Mitchell (again pseudonym) who, at least when I see his photos, has a very round head.