Stop Blaming First Mothers.

Over the weekend, yesterday, and today I read absolutely appalling responses from adoptees on Facebook. Complete and utter attacks on first mothers, as in mothers who lost their babies to adoption. Messages that demand they grovel on their knees for giving their babies away, choosing abandonment, telling me that all bio mothers should burn in hell if they try for contact when an adoptee doesn’t want it, that they have no business coming back into the adoptee’s life when the adoptive mother/real mother did all the hard work, comparing first mothers to rapists, and other outrageously stupid shit. Now, I understand that some adoptees are ignorant. They were unaware of the facts about things like the Baby Scoop Era, domestic violence and no support system for women back in the day (and still much progress needing to be made, but some has been made), being lied to about open adoption that still goes on, and more. I have no problem with adoptees who didn’t know any better. But terrible to think that some adoptees who already are aware of factors that push a mother to lose her baby to adoption would even think for a second it’s appropriate to attack first mothers.

Yes, there are some adoptees who do have abusive, horrible, psychopathic first mothers (and I hate even using the term first mother on them) who did literally abandon them, such as right on the sidewalk. However, look at the case of the girl who was abandoned by her first mother in a Burger King. She searched for her and found her. She’s thrilled to bits she came back and is introducing her to her whole family, the young lady’s bio family. She was a scared teenager at the time, stupid, and completely oblivious to what she was doing. I’m not going to negate the fact there are some terrible first mothers. I know a man who was abandoned on a sidewalk, and later when he found her she was just as horrible. 1 in 25 people are a psychopath, and yes some women are bitches. But the rate of a first mother being a psychopathic bitch is so extremely tiny.

No, let me tell each and every one of you the truth of how pregnant mothers and mothers of newborns turn into first mothers.

  • Manipulation.
  • Coercion.
  • Being a young minor and in their country the decision to force them to give away their baby and whether or  not to keep the adoption open or I should say “open” (if adoptive parents keep their end of the bargain) is done by their parents. It’s flat out human trafficking in smart countries, but it’s allowed in dumb ones. I actually just learned this despicable truth tonight.
  • Their boyfriends leaving them. In fact, in some states the “sperm donor” has every right to up and leave his pregnant girlfriend and sign adoption papers before she can. Leaving her high and dry and more likely to go the adoption route. However, in other states (South Carolina, Utah) rights for biological fathers are next to none.
  • Lied to about open adoption. Furthermore, I am aghast that any adoptee would think that closed adoption is not worse, or idiotically, think it’s better than open adoption. I could not believe what I was reading when some adoptees from open adoptions that remained open stated it was better to have a closed adoption. The ignorance is astounding. And keeping an adopted child away from abusive bio family members can still be done without closing the adoption. That isn’t where the appalling ignorance came from (the idea that you must close an adoption to keep a child safe from abusive bio family), but this monstrous idea that a child is better off to not know their: heritages, lineage, original name, and to not have any contact with any safe and loving biological family members, and to even think for a moment that seeing their first mother leave after visits is anywhere near as traumatizing as first mothers and adoptees who don’t even know if each other is alive or where each other is or a first mother even knowing if her baby she lost to adoption is in a safe home after seeing yet again on the news of adopted children being murdered. Open adoptions are not legally enforceable in the States or in Canada, and around 75% close by the time the child is in kindergarten (senior kindergarten for Canadians).
  • The Baby Scoop Era. Please do not use wikipedia as a source. It is not reliable with the Baby Scoop Era.
  • Their ex boyfriend or corrupt agency workers made trumped up charges so they could kidnap their baby, child, or children.
  • The immense level the multibillion dollar, loosely regulated uncredentialed adoption industry goes (in the US and Canada) goes into adoption propaganda and subtle coercive adoption language. I have a genius level IQ in languages and linguistics. I was tested for it in November 2013.
  • The fact the adoption agency or private adopters will pay for a lawyer and then trick the naive pregnant mother into thinking he or she is representing her. A lawyer cannot represent someone he or she is not being paid by, unless he or she works pro bono, which is not the case when the adopters or the adoption agency are paying.
  • Living in a warzone where human trafficking is high and is closely correlated to international adoption due to loose international regulations.
  • 1 in 4 British homes and 1 in 4 American homes are domestically violent. In many countries even today women and children living in abuse have no help. In the UK, Canada, Britain, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland support for women and children in domestically violent situations has definitely improved but it has not improved enough. More laws need to be passed. More importantly, more enforcement needs to be done. While I strongly support police, more awareness to domestic violence where the husband is a law enforcement officer must be addressed (whom I don’t support). Women and teenage girls lost their babies to adoption literally in order to keep them alive. Teenage girls living under the roofs of abusive fathers lost their babies to adoption because they saw no other way out, because there was no other way out. Don’t blame the first mothers, don’t even blame the adoptive mothers, blame the abusive man- or the abusive woman- there are domestically violent homes because of the woman. It might be the pregnant girl’s mother that is abusive. Blame the adoption agency workers who did nothing to safely remove the mother and her baby together to a safe location and to remain together. For First Nations women in Canada, that rate of domestic violence is even higher. First Nations women and Native American women are the most likely race of women in North America to experience domestic violence. It must be addressed.
  • Kicked out of their parents’ house for getting pregnant.
  • Blamed for being raped.
  • Evicted from their flats/apartments. Oh yes, there was a time when you were kicked out by your landlord for being pregnant unmarried.
  • Fired from their jobs for being pregnant.
  • Not hired anywhere because they were pregnant.
  • Completely ignored by their entire family for getting pregnant.
  • Told they were too young to parent and then told how wonderful adoption is.
  • Too poor to parent and then told how wonderful adoption is (and not told adoption is a permanent solution to their temporary financial woes).
  • Had an affair with a man of power, often influenced by him to have the affair, who then posed threats if she didn’t abort or give her baby away to adoption. This is partly why some politicians today don’t want to unseal original birth certificates.
  • In foster care 88% of girls and young women in foster care get pregnant by the age of 21. Notice how the adopters take the baby, but don’t give the mother a permanent home (well, maybe permanent. 25,000 adopted children in the US every year are resold, sometimes to paedophiles. It’s disgusting).
  • They passed away or knew they were going to pass away. Again, where was the father? Why are we not putting more responsibility on him if he was aware? Where was the rest of her family if they could have at least made it work?
  • They didn’t understand, because they were pushed to not understand, that their financial woes were only temporary.
  • They live or still live in a state where the convicted rapist sperm donor can get partial custody of her child conceived through rape. Yeah, North Dakota, Utah, Maryland, and more you’re beyond fucked up. Currently, it’s 6 states still doing this. I know a mother raising her child she conceived in rape after surviving a rape and attempted murder (that serial killer was fortunately murdered by a child victim’s brother so he cannot harm any more women and children) who has been at the forefront of making sure all 50 states stop allowing this.
  • They chose drugs over their baby or child. I won’t lie, like I said, there are some like that. However, this is not most first mothers.
  • They have severe personality disorders and put themselves first. Again, I won’t lie. However, this is only an extremely small amount of first mothers.
  • They come from a poor family that says they don’t have the means to raise another child. You need to ask yourself then why the adopters don’t give the money to the poor family to keep the baby in the family instead of using tens of thousands of dollars to take the baby away from his or her mother. For the adoptive parents it comes down to either greed or ignorance. Most first mothers, however, come from suburban middle class families and some from rich ones.
  • They are from a country where handicap children, girls, Deaf children, and rape conceived children are treated terribly. Ask yourself why the adoption industries haven’t inspired grassroots efforts to change this.
  • They were told by their parents to “get rid of it.”
  • They were lied to and told they’ll forget all about it. This lie still permeates. I bitched out an adoption agency worker from California for telling this to a 14 year old who lost her baby to adoption this year.
  • They were extremely young and scared, afraid what their parents would say. In the US, girls as young as 14 (and 12 in Alaska) can meet with these vile (and they all are vile) adoption agency workers without any trusted adult knowing. This must be seen as child abuse, and it must be put to an end. The human brain is not fully developed until about ages 24 to 26. They are not going to make rational decisions, and furthermore when they are still minors.
  • Everyone turned her back on her when she got pregnant.
  • Forced to give away her baby to adoption because the baby would be biracial.

So, what about the first mothers who don’t want contact? What about the first mothers who even more disparingly tell others in the biological family not to have contact with their adopted away relative or not to until after they (the first mother) is deceased? Well, let me tell you even they didn’t willingly give away their babies. They just have not admitted the truth yet from one of the above. They have been forced from family, society, the times, the bullshit lies of the adoption agency, whoever it may be to pretend it never happen, pretend they never lost a child or pretend to be happy about it and have moved on. No mother moves on from losing a child. They have been bullied and used into thinking they didn’t lose their own baby to adoption. They have been bullied and shamed into believing they weren’t good enough to parent their own child. They feel guilty for not parenting their own child, and it helps none when I have read abyssal comments from adoptees saying they should grovel and feel ashamed (unless it’s one of the rare bad reasons given above, I repeat rare).

So please, stop blaming first mothers. At least stop blaming almost 100% of them. Start blaming those who did what they did so she couldn’t raise her own baby, her own child. Start supporting first mothers by:

*Telling them about support groups like Concerned United Birthparents

*Telling them about this blog.

*Befriending them if you are a first mother who has made contact yourself or is looking.

*Letting them know they can let the shame go.

*Going after the real culprits in a legal way.

*Sharing your story as fellow first mothers (and first fathers) how reconnecting with your child was worth it, even if there were struggles and arguements if any.

It has been first mothers at the forefront of progression and change to unseal original birth certificates without redactions, to stop the sealing of original birth certificates, to abolish closed adoption, to support family preservation within a biological family, and to start support groups.



Subtle Coercive Language Propaganda of the Multibillion Dollar Adoption Industry Part I.

(Please ignore the Got Milk part of the picture, although cow’s milk is not needed for human consumption). I don’t like to toot my own horn. There are things I absolutely suck at, such as comprehending physics even after reading a simple learn physics book. However, when it comes to languages and linguistics I am no fool. In November 2013, I was tested as a genius in languages and linguistics in a seven hour long exam by a doctor who received her PhD from Dartmouth University. I wish people could see the adoption industry for what it is, and not have the subtle coercive language fly over their heads. I’ve been saying for probably a year, or longer, that I will get around to writing an article on the subtle coercive language propaganda of the adoption industry. Some of what you will read below was said more so in the past, some of what you will read is said today, some of what you will read is said in the past and today, and wording can alternate between adoption agencies. Regardless, this is about using language as a propaganda tool to coerce women and girls out of their babies, and then make them think they came up with the decision on their own. I will delve into the “but I really did choose adoption on my own” later. So, without further ado, let’s begin.  These terms are also used in private adoptions.

  1. The baby- You will hear or read some agency use “a baby” or “the baby” instead of “your baby”. This is to try to emotionally separate the mother and child.
  2. Birthmother– Coined by Pearl S. Buck, this term is to objectify mothers of adoption loss into believing that their only use is in giving birth. This is even more coercive when pregnant mothers are called birthmothers. By calling them birthmothers they are psychologically coercing them into thinking they will not keep their babies.
  3. Placing/Put up for– The adoption industry uses the phrasing placed for adoption or put up for adoption. This is no more than an attempt to soften the blow of the fact a mother will lose her child and a child will lose his or her mother, which goes against biological needs. It is also objectification of a child to claim you can place a child somewhere else without any psychological repercussions. To use the word “up” indicates the child would literally have to go up to something. By using the word “up”, the multibillion dollar, loosely regulated, uncredentialed adoption industry is subtly trying to claim that adoption is above that of what a pregnant mother can give, or even that of the child’s natural family, or that of the father and/or his family.
  4. Loving Home- An adoption agency psychologically is saying that the pregnant mother cannot provide a home as loving as what an adoptive parents’ home will provide. To pregnant mothers it’s “love isn’t enough”, but to adoptive parents it’s “love is all you need” and “love builds a family.” The adoption agencies can never be sure of a loving home. Tens of thousands of adoptees have dealt with abuse within their adoptive households, and some have been murdered. No adoption agency worker or adoption lawyer has ever been brought to justice for these crimes. In the case of Hana Elesu, forced name Hana Williams, her adoption agency continued to have excellent reviews from the Hague until their closing in 2016, even after she was murdered and her brother was abused, and continued to operate between 2011 in the time of her death and 2016. Hana is one of many tragic cases.
  5. Their Baby- The adoption industry starts having vulnerable pregnant mothers and mothers of newborns say “their baby” referencing that her own son or daughter belongs only to the adoptive parents. This objectifies the child, and forever the adoptee if the adoption goes through, by claiming the child belongs to someone who had to pay an adoption lawyer or adoption agency. It objectifies, once again, the child’s mother in claiming that she is a mere object to bring her child into the world.
  6. Adoption- the word in itself is coercive. Here, I am explaining infant adoption. However, a response I could likely receive (because people are too lazy to read before responding) is “what about stepparent adoption, infamily adoption, and adoption of a teenager who doesn’t care that his original birth certificate is sealed?” There are many different kinds of adoptions, and because of this it makes it much harder for people to see the coercive language that is used. There needs to be a different word for each type of adoption instead of using the word adoption. Adoption in the United States and Canada is also the legalised buying and selling of children, no matter how good the intentions are, and will continue to be until the money is taken out of adoption.
  7. Vessel- One of the most emotionally abusive words said by the adoption industry, “vessel” “carrier” and “transporter” are all objectifying terms to use to a pregnant mother, and then a mother of adoption loss.
  8. Loving placed/lovingly put up for- The adoption industry uses the term “lovingly” to make a vulnerable pregnant mother or mother of a newborn believe that if she gives her child away or loses her child to adoption (and I use both terms depending on the situation) that she is doing a loving thing by giving her child a life of discrimination and a much higher rate of anxiety, depression, and chance of suicide. To a lesser degree, it is saying she is selfish if she does the natural thing, that nature and God intended, and keeps her child. It is detrimental to the natural development of infants, who are in their fourth trimester, to be separated from their mothers. This perpetrates the blank slate myth that has already been debunked by scientists. A person who is discriminatorily put into a closed adoption is being told “I don’t want anything to do with you” and therefore is being blamed for their own conception. It leaves a lifelong psychological impact, whether acknowledged or denied, that for some reason or other a mother gave away her child even if that was done by coercion, lies, manipulation, and deceit which is nearly 100% of the time the case in infant adoptions.
  9. Open adoption- The adoption industry claims that with open adoption a child receives the best of two families. The adoption industry can make no claim that a child will have a better life, yet it falsely claims constantly. Open adoption is used to have vulnerable mothers believe they can have the best of both worlds, and have all the visits and letters and photographs they want. The truth of the matter is that open adoptions are not legally enforceable, and on a national scale they close (conservatively) 75% of the time before the mother of adoption loss’ child is five years old, and almost always because of the adoptive parents and nothing bad that the mother of adoption loss has done.
  10. Birthfather- A father cannot give birth. Therefore to use the term birthfather is illogical.
  11. Have Your Own Children- Adoption agency workers during their manipulation strategies have told pregnant mothers that this “isn’t their child” and that “they can marry and have children of their own.” The adoption industry continues to denounce simple biological facts by not advocating to unseal adoption records, unseal original birth certificates, allow closed adoptions, not legally enforce open adoptions, not apologize for the kidnapping, coercion, abuse, and homicides it has engaged in, and not acknowledge the rate of psychological problems of mothers of adoption loss such as PTSD, which every mother of adoption loss has unless she has anti social personality disorder, and secondary infertility. Other mothers of adoption loss have had multiple children (6+) after the loss of their first born to try and replicate their lost child and show others, and themselves, that they would have been a great parent to their first.
  12. A Better Life- The adoption industry claims that more finances or an upper middle class to upper class lifestyle will bring utmost satisfaction and happiness to the adoptee, and that with a wealthier life everything they want and need will be at their fingertips. First, I must debunk the myth that most mothers of adoption loss come from poverty. The abortion industry operates more so in low income areas. Adoptees more often come from middle class, suburban homes to wealthy homes. Upper middle class and wealthy girls and women who conceived out of wedlock were forced, subtly and non-subtly, to lose their babies to adoption in order to maintain an image around town. This did not exist just in the 1950s and 1960s, but well into the 1990s and some could argue continues. My own (biological) family is ginormous and middle class to upper middle class. There had been many extended family members who were married, middle class, and of reasonable age who knew about me, who could have taken me in, but did not in order to protect an image. That image being “Catholics do not have babies out of wedlock”. No amount of riches can take away the trauma of infant and mother loss, the loss of siblings, cousins, and other relatives, and the discriminatory acts states and provinces place upon adoptees (nearly always for life) even with great and progressive adoptive parents. Having grown up in communities with upper middle class to wealthy people, with friends or my (adoptive) brother’s friends whose parents own $3 million dollar summer homes, I can attest to the fact that whilst some wealthy people are exceptionally nice, and happy, many are utterly miserable and share that misery with others. The adoption industry continues this belief that money brings happiness. Nor does the adoption industry by stating “a better life” ever mention that adoptive parents can and do lose their jobs, can and do go through divorces that cost a fortune, that they as a multibillion dollar industry could just give away their money to pregnant mothers in need or that financial struggles can change. Financial struggle is 97% of the reason why domestic infant adoption occurs in the United States since the late 1970s/early 1980s depending on the state.
  13. Privacy/Confidentiality- Adoption agencies will falsely claim a parent of adoption loss, or parent who gave away their child, such as an irresponsible father or rapist who was known to have raped the mother of adoption loss, known by agency workers and never reported, is granted privacy or confidentiality. Neither is granted. Birthparent privacy and birthparent confidentiality is the abusive practice of asking someone’s son or daughter to pretend they don’t exist in order to maintain a false image. Nowhere else but in adoption would we allow this abusive thinking to occur. It is emotional manipulation and psychological abuse, most often started by the mother of adoption loss’ parents (the child of adoption loss’ grandparents), and/or adoption agency workers, and society depending on the times. Birthparent privacy does not exist because the original birth certificate is not sealed until the adoption is finalized, so if a baby is lost to adoption or given away, and ends up growing up in foster care then he or she keeps his or her original birth certificate making privacy null and void. By allowing parents to think they have “privacy” or “confidentiality” they (agencies) are in essence, allowing them to escape from their problems and not take responsibility.
  14. Adoption builds a family- Adoption cannot happen without the destruction of the first family. That destruction will continue for generations unless a reunion occurs and the children of the adoptee, if the adoptee has children, carry the name of their biological family on their birth certificate. Adoptees should consider having their children have one of the surnames on their birth certificate, even if it’s not the last name.
  15. Profiles of Waiting Parents- Immediately, adoption agency workers will slap profiles of potential adoptive people and potential adopters, into the hands and eyes of vulnerable mothers. This is subtle coercion to have them in hook, line, and sinker from the beginning. “Here, here look at our pretty pictures of amazing people. These people need the baby to be their baby. See, see what they can provide and you can’t? Take a look at this one it already comes with a big brother and two dogs.”
  16. Adopted Children are Well Adjusted- This is one agencies claim. The truth is out there if you are willing to dig for it, and ask a multitude of adoptees. The fact remains adoptees are: more likely to commit suicide, more likely to engage in drugs, more likely to end up spending time in prison, end up in an in patient psychiatric ward as an adolescent, much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and ADD, anxiety, and/or depression.
  17. Adoption is a Selfless Sacrifice on the Part of the Birthmother- this is what agencies claim. This is what agencies drill into the heads of mothers of adoption loss. Nowhere do adoption agencies tell fathers to man up and raise their children. Adoption agencies disregard the fact that some mothers are truly psychopaths and do abandon their children. While this is exceedingly rare, the question must be asked is a mother selfish and not sacrificing if she keeps her child and sacrifices her free time to work two jobs to support her child or children as a single mother? This is precisely what the multibillion dollar adoption industry is indicating. It goes back to the false claim that a richer life is a better life. It ignores the fact that all adoption begins in lies, deceit, manipulation, and coercion on the mother’s part except in cases of child abuse and child neglect.
  18. Your child will know about his or her adoption- Agencies claim this, but they cannot support it. Late discovery adoption is very common and with the use of anonymous donation, more and more IVF conceived people raised in hetereosexual two parent households will not know until adulthood that they are not the biological child or their parents or aren’t fully. There was a time when it was shameful to tell your child that he or she is adopted, and many self centered adoptresses continue to adopt today, and do not tell their children they are adopted. They find out as adults, often through DNA tests or someone else.
  19. Adoption is a brave love- By giving away your child to people who you can’t fully know if they will be loving parents or not, by giving life long psychological trauma to your child (whether it is acknowledge or denied by the adoptee), and by allowing the province or state to discriminate them (some more than others, such as New York State and North Dakota) you are being brave. The word “brave” is more manipulation used to hurt pregnant mothers and then mothers of adoption loss, and to shut them up from saying that they need psychological help for the irreversible damage of child loss. Please note, this is an attack on adoption agency workers, adopters doing all they can to get their vile hands on a baby through deceit like this, and adoption attorneys. It is not an attack on mothers.
  20. Leaving a gift or letter- A letter can be empty words. A child cannot be loved completely if the mother does not want to know her child she lost to adoption. This isn’t to say love isn’t there, but that love cannot be in its full form unless it flows freely through communication and connection. Anything less than that is blocked love, blocked by shame, guilt, and manipulation caused by others who did not support the mother and her child to remain an unit or at least keep the child within the family (this is irrelevant to entire biological families that are abusive). Letters were often forcibly written to guilt trip the mother of adoption loss and drive the nail in the coffin that she is not deserving to raise her own baby. It is more abuse. A gift indicates that something bought at the hospital’s gift store can accomodate for the tragic loss. That all is made well by a nice figurine of an angel, for example, and that that angel figurine makes up for the separation of mother and child, child and her family, original birth certificate, family medical history, and heritage, and then throughout the generations in some cases.
  21. Adoption will cure your pain of infertility-subtle coercive language propaganda of the adoption industry is not geared only to mothers of adoption loss, and adoptees, but to people looking to adopt as well. It’s falsely claimed that once a person, mainly a woman, adopts a newborn (or infant) that her infertility pain will cease to exist. First, this is not the responsibility of some other woman’s child to play the role of invisible child (baby never created and born due to infertility). Second, adopting does not take away the pain of infertility. There will always be that wound of the biological child who could not be created.
  22. Semi open- the words semi open are false because this too can close at any time, but what I want to mention here is that semi open adoptions are commonly used because the pregnant mother then mother of adoption loss is told she shouldn’t get in the way too much. This is separation of mother and child, and goes against the intentions of nature and God. It is emotional abuse to tell a mother she is getting in the way too much.
  23. Adoption plan- by using the word “plan” the adoption industry almost pretends this is a fun activity. If not that, they pretend to give the pregnant mother control as they guide her along into thinking adoption is her best solution. Remember, without babies to legally sell they wouldn’t have recently profitted $12 billion dollars in one year and that doesn’t even include other forms of adoption.
  24. Gender specific adoption plan- Now, people looking to raise someone else’s child can legally shop for a boy or a girl. Would someone care to tell me how this differs from the time of trans Atlantic slavery or Irish slavery when a slave child was picked primarily based on their sex? This also unnecessarily puts pressure on a child to be “in love with sports like his adoptive father” or “in love with sewing and make up like her adoptive mother”. Children are mixture of genes and environment, and cases like this can often have a child being forced to vicariously live through their adopters’ dreams. It also takes a child away from his or her family in order to bring to realisation someone’s dreams of playing house with the perfect set up; whatever perfect is to them. Basically, it’s greed. With the loose regulations in adoption, because home studies are basically bogus, it can also disgustingly be preferred sex of a child by that of a vile, repulsive paedophile.
  25. Birthfamily- An entirely family cannot give birth. Only females of maturation without infertility problems can give birth, and they all cannot give birth to me; the adoptee.
  26. Free Loan- Mothers of adoption loss are not being financially supported to keep their babies, yet GoFundMe pages are being created for those wanting to adopt and free loans given such as Hebrew Free Loan.
  27. Magically Become Jewish- In regards to Jewish adoptions, anyone can practice the Jewish faith and even a Chinese child born in China, can be adopted into a Jewish family. However, there is a difference between practicing Judaism and being ethnically Jewish. Adoption claims that through adoption your child will be Jewish. Even if the adoptive mother is Jewish, the adopted child is not Jewish. They can only be Jewish if the mother of adoption loss is Jewish. Otherwise, they are a person who practices Judaism.
  28. Find a Family- This indicates that the infant, who already has a family, has no family and that people you don’t even know must be interviewed to magically create the family the infant does not have. Even in cases of child abuse and child neglect, the child still has a family albeight one they should not be around.
  29. Breastfeed Your Adopted Baby- This is manipulation towards the adoptive mother in the sense it makes her think that this new child is her biological child, and ignores her infertility. It is manipulation of the infant to be used as a decoy. It is manipulation of the natural mother to be denied to breastfeed her own baby, and call her own baby her baby, as God and nature intended. Agencies are claiming adoptive mothers breastfeeding their babies is beneficial to the baby. While some mothers, as in biological mothers just to be clear, cannot breastfeed due to a multitude of medical reasons, this is not what I am discussing here. I am well aware of the benefits of donated breastmilk to premies. The point to make her is the mother, the child’s natural mother, should be supported and should be raising her child and breastfeeding her own child unless unsafe to do so or medically impossible. Breastmilk is made by a mother specifically for her baby at that time and changes throughout the day and as her baby grows. Breastmilk is very much needed through the toddler years as well. An adoptive mother’s breastmilk is not the breastmilk that was meant for that baby. By denying a mother of adoption loss the chance to breastfeed her own baby you further her PTSD and psychologically abuse her by making her think she is just a vessel and undeserving of breastfeeding her own baby.
  30. Most adoptees are happy- you hear this, and you hear this from adoptees, so why is it not true? Besides the psychological notes I gave up which are backed up by research. Adoption is not a normal practice to the human body. Adopted babies do behave differently than non adopted babies such as unusually quiet or constant, inconsolable crying.
  31. Fathers- Look through adoption agency websites and see how biological fathers are conveniently not mentioned.
  32. While a few agencies mention the grief and loss that adoption causes for life, throughout multiple family members and generations, it continues to allow adoptions to occur. More often than not, it does not want to bring this up, and when it does it brushes it under the wrong saying just seek counseling and love them. Neither will make up for the damage done.
  33. Was adopted- The idea that adoption for adoptees and for mothers of adoption loss (and caring first fathers) is a one time ordeal they will never think about again. The truth is for any reasonable and moral parent, it will be on their minds for life, and is on the minds of adoptees for life whether or not they acknowledge it.
  34. Pictures of Infants and Young Children- Adoption websites contain photos of babies and young children smiling. This is a propaganda tool because young children cannot verbalise their feelings towards losing their mothers, and then adult adoptees are ignored about their needs for equality and need to connect with siblings and cousins they are biologically related to.
  35. Telling older kept siblings you love them and the baby you are placing for adoption- I’ve already been through how “lovingly” is coercion, “the” baby is coercion, and “placing for” is coercion. This emotionally manipulative approach done by the adoption industry is claiming that older siblings, and younger siblings who find out years later, will not be psychologically distraught and scarred by the fact they have lost a sibling to adoption, and then are told to praise the very system that took away their brother or sister and the people within the family (grandparents, etc) that did not support their mother in keeping her child at least within the family in some manner. The reason, the only reason, why (biological) siblings of an adoptee under eighteen are not permitted to know they have an older brother or sister lost to adoption unless told by the first mother or first father is because they will be afraid they too will be given away. This is nothing more than to reassure children that if they lie, break something, are naughty in some aspect they won’t be given away either. It comes down to abuse of the adoptee and the mother, and to a certain degree; the kept siblings.

More language propaganda to come.

How Adoption Endangers Children, Adults’ Lives, and Prevents Some Criminal Cases From Being Solved.

I’m writing this article specifically for every police department in the United States and Canada. At the end you’ll see how police can help right now. I’m aware police have a slew of things to do, so I do not want to take up much of your time. I’m aware that public defenders cannot advocate for anything. Ask for references if you want. Raising awareness to police departments is key, because police are voters and they do uphold the law and are there to protect citizens, especially children. Some police departments have heard from me numerous times, some have never.

A quick background. I am adopted in a completely unnecessary adoption out of Rochester, NY. I am 33 and for the past 17 years have researched and exposed the manipulation, corruption, deceit, lies, and more done in America’s and Canada’s (and Ireland’s) adoption industry without getting paid. How does adoption endanger the lives of children and prevents some criminal cases from being solved? I’m going to be as quick as I can.  I was nominated early 2018 to audition for Ted Talks. I did not make the cut into the next round but according to a professor to even be asked to audition is astronomical. I would have discussed how international adoption between the US and Asian countries is allowing paedophiles to adopt, and the psychological impact of adoption on first mothers, adoptees, and kept siblings. My goal here is not to waste your time and mine, but to teach you what is going on so that you can ask those running for office their views on adoption so we can have a more ethical and safe system. A lot of evil things that are going on you may not be aware of. In your off duty time perhaps you can advocate for change in order to make police work easier.

  1. Closed adoption means that there is no information passed between the biological family and the adoptive family and the adoptee. This should be considered child abuse in America and already is in the hearts and minds of adoptees. It’s already considered child abuse in some European countries. Adoption agencies lie to pregnant mothers and tell them that a closed adoption will make them forget about ever being pregnant and having a child. Adoption agencies and abortion clinics also lie to women who conceive in rape and tell them the baby will be an awful reminder. A friend of mine can attest to the severe pressure she faced from society when deciding to keep her rape conceived son. She survived a rape and attempted murder by a serial killer on a business trip to North Carolina. Today, that three year old boy receives weekly death threats that have to be reported to various police departments because she chose to keep him. She strongly emphasis her son is no reminder of the rape, but her now six surgeries are. Closed adoption results in astronomically high rates of anxiety and depression in adoptees. Closed adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide. Adoptees also have higher incarceration rates but are not all from closed adoptions. It is legal in most states for an adoption lawyer or adoption agency worker to convince a minor as young as age 14 to give away her baby to adoption without any trusted adult knowing such as a parent, legal guardian, foster parent, aunt, teacher, or police officer knowing and then lie to a child as young as 14 that she won’t even remember it. Closed adoption also means that in the past biological family members and adoption agency workers knew about rapes but did not report them. As to whether or not they know about rapes today and are not reporting them I’d have to figure that out. A closed adoption means that a law abiding American citizen is denied to know their heritage (only changed thanks to Family Tree DNA, and then, their real name, their family medical history,  their real birth certificate, and contact with family members who may want to know them. It allows men to hide the fact they got their girlfriends pregnant, underaged girls, and women they cheated with. Because of closed adoption, I lost 32 years with my paternal aunt, until she miraculously found me last year August 2017. We had no idea each other existed. Imagine waking up tomorrow in a different town, with a different name, with a new family, with no idea where your old family is, with no medical background, with no real birth certificate as yours has been sealed, possibly with no passport depending on when you were born and adopted as some adoptees are not permitted to leave the country simply for being adopted, and looking in the mirror not knowing whose nose and eyes you have. Welcome to the reality of closed adoptions and the terrible adoption industry.
  2. Adoption agencies do not have to pass along life saving medical information even if the biological parents ask them to. This can be read about in A Hole in My Heart by Lorraine Dusky and is a must for every New York State citizen. Although published decades ago, the facts in the book remain the same in 2018.
  3. Open adoptions are not legally enforceable. Nationwide about 75% of open adoptions close by the time the child is in kindergarten for both the US and Canada. This almost always is not because the biological parent is unsafe. Adoption agencies lie to vulnerable girls and women and tell them it’ll stay open. Then we have closed adoptions that are closed to begin with. In 2015, 102 or 105 adopted children in the United States were murdered or raped and murdered by their adopters. The same happens in Canada and the UK. Why? Because the multibillion dollar, loosely regulated, completely uncredentialed adoption industry has nobody checking on these kids. Tens of thousands of adopted kids are abused every year if we include verbal abuse.  Yet the agencies that put these children into these abusive homes have never been brought to justice or been closed down. When Sadie Rone, who survived torture for 15 years from her adopters, called the agency they told her and I quote “that’s too bad”. So why are they still in business? Why are the agencies that were involved in the 1960s and 1970s Baby Scoop Era where women were forced to give away their babies, even handcuffed to the hospital beds when giving birth, and sent to abusive maternity homes still in business? We need a system where closed adoptions are abolished, open adoptions are legally enforced,  all adopted children are fingerprinted at their local police station, and all adopted children are checked on annually by their local police department without the adoptive parents knowing.
  4. It is legal to resell your adopted kid. With such loose regulations in international adoption some kids are being adopted by evil paedophiles directly from Asian countries into Canada and the US. Some children in African countries and Albania are being adopted (usually not by North Americans) to be murdered and their organs harvested. Typically Albania to Greece. But back to Canada and the US, it is legal to resell your adopted child. The adoption industry calls it rehoming. I’ve seen these pitiful cases on facebook. Before being blocked from a site where adopted kids were being resold for things like “he gets in the way of our careers” and “there’s nothing wrong with her. She has no special needs or behavior problems, nothing wrong at all just after 10 years we don’t want to parent her anymore” and “after 8 weeks we decided parenting isn’t for us.” Even when an adoption lawyer is used this has turned adoption into a money making foster system. Non profit adoption agencies make a slew of money on tax returns. Besty DeVos’s brother is the director of Bethany Christian Services which has a very spotted background, and it rakes in millions a year. Reselling a child teaches him that he is commodity as does taking a child away from his biological family that is middle class and has the means like mine did. It also shows the agency failed in finding a good home. These children have a lot of problems from it, and already had problems being ripped from their home life.
  5. 97% of infant domestic adoptions in the US are preventable. The system is set up to give biological parents next to no time to ask for their children back, but when they do agencies commonly ignore the emails and calls. I know of biological parents who were ignored, asked for their child back, refused and child psychologists paid good money by agencies said it’s better for the child to stay with the adopters, adopters who have a record when the biological parents do not, because “he’s used to them”. Should we start using that for kidnapped victims too? Oh, they have Stockholm Syndrome and are used to them? Most assuredly no! When an infant is not returned to the biological parents when they asked for their child back within the legal time frame and that request goes ignored, that is kidnapping. So why do we allow it to continue? My article Natural Mothers Do Not Get Time to Look It Over is recommended.
  6. Closed adoptions, and open adoptions that close, mean the adoptee has to search for family. It took me 13 years with no information to go on and I am actually more successful at finding people than some private detectives (not police detectives mind you), not to toot my horn, but it’s true. The adoption agencies do not mention to the adoptee any unsafe biological family members that they know about. You have adoptees right here and now finding out their biological fathers were rapists, or that their biological grandfather was a paedophile. Even if the adoption agency didn’t know it’s the mere fact that had the adoptee not had their own information sealed on them they would know who is safe to reach out to and who is not. We are setting up 10 million (easily) North Americans to put themselves at risk for contacting family members who are not safe versus the ones who are.
  7.  How does adoption prevent cases from being solved ? If the body has not been found then that blood needs to be analysed. If the blood analysed is not in the database then we move onto familial DNA to see if there’s a match between the murder victim and their family. For an adoptee, this comes down to millions of people of people not having this access and therefore police and forensics not having this access either. The adoption industry is trying to claim birthparent privacy is the reason for this. Birthparent privacy a lie. The original birth certificate is not sealed until the adoption is finalized, so if a baby is given away for adoption but ends up in foster care he or she keeps his or her original birth certificate making privacy null and void. In fact, KS, AK, and AL are the 3 states not to seal, so once again privacy is null and void. No, privacy stays on the book to hide the fact a judge in TN was involved in human trafficking with Georgia Tann, and that senators in MN and NY bought children illegally from Georgia Tann, the illegal trafficking of Irish babies into Canada and the States (see Philomena movie), the bigshots who got their mistresses pregnant, and more. By not unsealing original birth certificates, by not abolishing closed adoptions, by not legally enforcing open adoptions, and by not helping the 3 million Canadian women and 7 million American women (a very conservative estimate) who lost their babies to adoption we are hindering the progress of so many criminal cases. How many? I have no idea. I will say that women and girls have been told things like “shame on you for getting pregnant” “tell your husband and he’ll leave you” “whore” “you’ll go to hell if anyone knows” and more. I’ve interviewed about 600 biological mothers.  These women need help, not remaining in their shame. I can also 100% guarantee that some of you reading this if you took the tests with both Family Tree DNA and would find out you have a relative given away for adoption or are adopted yourself (whole or half, a half adoptee being say your dad isn’t your biological dad), and it will completely change your world and that of your children. Late discovery adoption is common, and is sometimes the reason why an adult endured child abuse or cold indifference during his childhood. 

I hope learning new things you can keep your eye out, tell others when off duty, and ask politicians what their stance is. Remember groups like the National Council for Adoption are only pro adoption lobbyists. They have no, as far as my research shows, anyone on their board who is adopted or a biological parent. Nor has the adoption industry advocated for the 15,000 illegally adopted (aka kidnapped) Korean born people from the 1950s through 1980s who today cannot legally vote, marry, or work and can’t legally naturalize themselves in the US. Until the system is reformed, children will continue to go to bad homes, babies will continue to be taken away when not needed, kidnappings under the false pretenses of adoption will continue, coercion, lies, and pressure will remain legal, suicide and incarceration rates will remain much higher among adoptees, and the progression of solving crimes when the body cannot be located will be slowed. 

So, how can police help right now? When (does the sign of the cross because of how dangerous domestic violence is for police officers) you are called to a domestic violence call, a child abuse call, or worst of all (cringing) a homicide of a child  investigate if the child was in foster care or was adopted. Find out who the CPS worker or adoption agency worker and adoption agency was, or adoption attorney or any of the above, and publicize their names in the report. The public needs to know who was responsible for putting these kids into bad homes, and then firing them. If the children are rescued and happen to be in foster care or were adopted try to locate biological family. In my 17 years of research I’ve come to find more than half the time the child can be returned to a biological family member such as a grandmother or aunt. Remember, they don’t go looking for extended family to raise these kids because that would take away money from the multibillion dollar adoption industry. 

Thank you for your time.

(*Note child in photo is an adopted murder victim. Child abuse and child homicide by adopters).


No, I Certainly Don’t Hate All Adoptive Parents and Neither Should You.

I felt like this needed to be written because lately I’ve come across people assuming that adoptees should all be grateful for the adoptive parents who raised them. It’s a gross, but understandable, assumption that society makes because they don’t realize that not all adoptive parents are good parents. I’m sure there has to be some people out there who assume that I personally hate all adoptive parents with what I write about adoption. Don’t be silly, of course I don’t hate all adoptive parents. In fact, I like the vast majority of them. Well, maybe not the vast majority as my own adoptive dad said once upon a time “most adopters are self centered” when he was talking about how so many adopters have this mine attitude, and discourage their adopted children from search and reunion.

That being said, maybe my dad is wrong. I sure hope so, and  I sure hope most adoptive parents are encouraging of search and reunion. Also, it doesn’t matter if they are or not. It’s sad to know, at least in the not too distant past, that some states (or at least one state) demand adult adoptees have permission from their adoptive parents to search for biological family. This perpetrates an adult to be treated like a child, no different than not releasing sealed original birth certificates. But alas, let’s get to the point.

It’d be silly for me, and for you, to hate all adoptive parents or say even most. For the most part, it is not the adoptive parents that are the problem (some are), but it’s the adoption agency workers, lawyers (nearly all), judges (some), and the adoption industry itself (basically the CEOs and directors on top making a slew of money such as Betsy DeVos’s brother, director of Bethany Christian Services). Now, you may say yes the adoptive parents are the problem since they are the ones wanting the babies to begin with. I say no they are not. Here is why. Because, when we are discussing adoptive parents we have so many kinds. We have step parent adoptions, adopting older children from foster care, adopting from orphanages, and infant domestic adoptions with the last two being the biggest. Within these last three can we honestly blame adoptive parents when they too are bamboozled and lied to by the adoption industry? Yes, lied. Lied and told that this child has no family or no family that can properly care for them, when entire countries’ agencies and international adoptions have been shut down because some of these kids came from middle class families. Can we honestly blame adoptive parents when they are lied to and told adopting a baby will cure their pain of infertility? Certainly not.

We also need to look at the fact that yes, some of these kids had they remained within their families would have died, or they would have languished away in an orphanage. Now, I do realize for some adoptees who are grown they had better experiences in their orphanage than in their adoptive homes, and I do recognize that abuse that took place or lack of happiness.

The problem here folks isn’t the adoptive parents, in most scenarios, but in the system itself. I discussed this in my article called The Right Kinds of Adoptions if you’d like to look it up.

There’s a lack of education out there. A lack of education to adoptive couples and potential adoptive couples that does not teach them about legal guardianship, does not teach them that the adoption industry has done nothing to help many illegally adopted Korean born adoptees (15,000 between the 1950s and 1980s) obtain their naturalization because as of right now they can’t legally vote, marry, or work, does not advocate to unseal original birth certificates and covers up the human trafficking involved in some of these states such as Minnesota and New York through the human trafficker Georgia Tann, does not tell adoptive parents and potential adoptive parents that babies are not blank slates, does not tell adoptive parents or potential adoptive parents the problems of sealed original birth certificates which mounts to stealing one’s identity, discrimination, and in some cases denying adoptees a passport meaning there are adoptees right here and now who cannot travel outside of the country simply for being adopted. You know who else can’t? Those who have committed a Federal crime. So, adoptive parents ask yourself why some adoptees in our great land are being treated like criminals. The industry does not tell adoptive parents a lot, but most importantly they don’t tell adoptive parents that adoption could be so much better in this country. I wrote two articles if you want to look them up. One is 100 Things Wrong with Adoption and the other is How to Fix Adoption. You see, it’s not normally about the adoptive parents that ruffles my feathers, but the simple fact that we could have ethical, non discriminatory adoptions in this country by doing three simple things:

  1. Giving a certificate of adoption instead of sealing the original birth certificate.
  2. Abolishing closed adoptions and legally enforcing open adoptions.
  3. Demanding those who adopt a baby of a teen in foster care must adopt the teen as well, and all extended family members in the biological families are interviewed first to see if they can and should take the baby or child.

Just three basic things could make a world of difference. So what adoptive parents are bad.

  1. Abusive ones.
  2. Ones who murder their adopted children.
  3. Ones who close an open adoption for no good reason.
  4. One who discourage searching.
  5. Ones who used every trickery and manipulation in the book to get their hands on a baby.

I would like to believe most adoptive parents went into the idea of adoption to help a child. Infant adoption is held up with this  false belief perpatrated by the adoption industry, that a baby was in need. Adoptive couples are have information withheld from them that at least in the US, 97% of infant adoptions are preventable. This isn’t to say all, as some are well aware the natural mother or extended family could raise the child but put their egocentrism ahead of civility. Of course, once again, not all as I’ve come across adoptive parents who strongly believe if a pregnant mother can find help, then by all means do what she can to keep her own child. Nor does the adoption industry when it comes to domestic infant adoptions explain that the money they are using to adopt could instead by given to the pregnant mother in need in order for her to keep her baby. It just doesn’t cross the minds of most because the idea is never mentioned. Nor will I deny that some adoptions have saved lives (and no I do not mean that it saved babies from abortion) such as abused children and special needs children born in countries where they are terribly seen as curses, the only difference is that they never needed to occur with a sealed original birth certificate.

I sometimes come across fellow adoptees who are so angry that they think no mother should lose her child to adoption. I agree that nobody should have a closed adoption, because it is abuse, and nobody should have their identity stolen through sealed original birth certificates, but to claim infants and children should never go live with someone else; a new family is absolutely ludicrous when the parents are drug addicts or the biological family is abusive and does not further our cause for adoptee equality and adoption reformation.

I will always question adoptive parents as to their intentions for adoption and what kind of adoption they have. As a child rights advocate and adoptee rights advocate it is my business to know if this was a necessary adoption or not (minus the fact none should ever seal).

So, to sum it up yes there are great adoptive parents out there. Ones who had an adoption failed but were happy to see the child raised by his mother, ones who encourage to search, ones who do an open adoption and keep it open, ones who travel back with their child to his or her country of origin, ones who gave a child a home who literally did not have one, and more.

America’s Involvement in Forced Family Separation is Nothing New. How and Why to Keep Children Out of Orphanages, Foster Care, and Adoption Agencies and How You Can Help.

According to UNICEF (and yes I am well aware the CEO makes way too much money)  80% of children in orphanages today are not orphans. What this means is that they have one living parent. Of the 20%, many have an extended relatives such as much older cousins and an aunt. This isn’t to say that their living parent is capable of caring for them. A very well known celebrity, who I won’t give his or her name, has adopted twins. Originally this celebrity removed these twins from the orphanage, used their own money to financially help their living parent, and do whatever possible to reunite the family. The parent of the twins ended up drinking up the money, had no intention of improving their condition, or being a good parent. Having been to Brazil and seeing first hand parents care more for their bottle than their kids, I know keeping children with their parents is not always safe and healthy for the children. Seeing eight year olds in rags up and down the freeway in Brazil selling candy is an eye opener to the economic divide in developing nations. However, I am not here to talk about Brazilian domestic adoptions. I’m here to discuss the idea of keeping children out of orphanages and how we, as adults, all need to play a role in it. It’s also crucial to know many international adoption agencies will claim all orphanages are bad and overseas adoptions are better or the best solution. No way am I promoting that ludicrous idea.

When we think of orphanages many of us think of children with two dead parents. That isn’t the case and it’s really never been the case for most kids. They are stuck in there, although I hate to use the word stuck for some cases as many children in orphanages would be  starving, beaten, raped, sleeping on park benches, or other terrible ordeals and not all orphanages are the abyssmal ones that come to mind like the ones in Romania. You see, this isn’t a good/bad issue. You can’t cut it evenly down the line. This isn’t to knock the well run orphanages and the good careworkers working in them who provide education, a bed, love, nurturing, discipline, play, and nutritious food. The problem is a) the orphanages that are not well run b) the fact most kids in orphanages do not need to be there in the first place and c) that international adoption is being used as a first plan solution for these kids and that many lies are being told to the parents of these children, or their extended family members. For example, many African mothers are told their child will become very successful and come back to xyz country to help her or his people.

If you have not had the opportunity to watch Journeyman Pictures Ethiopian Adoption on youtube, I recommend it. As I’ve mentioned before, due to the lack of regulations in adoption, and especially in international adoptions, we have too many children horrifically going to child abusers along with around 25,000 adopted kids every year in the US (most international, ELL students) being resold, sometimes, “thanks” in part again to loose regulations, to disgusting paedophiles. One must ask themselves if they can’t be rehabilitated why are they being let out? Yet, the multibillion dollar, loosely regulated, uncredentialed adoption industry won’t come forward and fix this calamity, let alone offer solutions.

Nor is this post a knock on adoptive parents who have adopted internationally. I want to make that incredibly clear, unless they are abusive (which includes downplaying their children’s desire to search for family and purposely not keeping in contact or going overseas so it’d be even harder to find, although trust me search and find in domestic closed adoption decades at least a decade of hard work, sometimes several decades). The vast majority of adoptive parents who adopted internationally did so because they wanted to help a child. Some of these parents are capable of having biological children. Some of these parents spent extensive time working in these countries or were born in them themselves, and know if these girls age out they end up as prostitutes. Some of them have met the child’s other mother, spoke face to face with her, and keep in touch. So, no this is not to knock adoptive parents through international adoption, except those who are abusive.

It’s the fact that so many children who are in orphanages do not need to be, and that international adoption is not the best solution and should no longer be used as the number one solution for helping these children, which too often, is the worst thing for these children, and can be prove unfortunately and horrifically, fatal for them (just look up adopted kids killed by their adopters in the US, Canada, and UK). The multibillion dollar adoption industry doesn’t want you to know that, and a whole lot more, because it would mean they wouldn’t be making their billions ($15 billion in the US alone for 2017), just like how they don’t want you to know that if we made adoption agency workers do their professions purely as volunteer work we would see domestic infant adoption drop by 95% in the U.S. as explained in a previous article.

So, let’s finally get to it. Let’s discuss why and what solutions. In much of the world women lack equal rights far worse than inequalities women face in countries like Canada and the United States (and let’s keep in mind that in countries like the US and the UK quite often the fathers who should receive full time custody of their kids do not, whilst abusive, narcissistic mothers get to keep them and cut off contact with the child’s father out of asinine spite. Let’s also keep in mind that abortion should not fall under women’s rights as many women, like myself, are prolife; yes even in rape cases). In many countries throughout the world, children born to single mothers, deceased or dying fathers, prostitutes and other street women (who were street kids themselves or had escaped forced child marriages), born female, born with a disability,  have a deceased mom, or have a breadwinner parent with a disability end up in orphanages. The adoption agencies then swoop in like the vultures they are.  Now, ask yourself. Looking at the list of these babies, toddlers, children, and adolescents how many truly need to be adopted internationally and taken away from their people, language, culture, land, everyone they knew, and more? Over ten years ago my adoptive parents tried to adopt a thirteen year old girl from Brazil. It didn’t work out because of my dad’s health (which ended up, thankfully, being false) and I am now, being a lot more educated, grateful for it. Erika, as that is her name, would have had multiple trips back to Brazil with us or just me and I speak fluent Brazilian Portuguese. Brazil is different though as kids who land up in orphanages have to be abandoned to the orphanage. The problem with this is that millions upon millions of Brazilian parents in the favelas refuse to give up rights, but instead let their kids walk in rags along the freeway selling candy at eight years old and being in gangs by eleven years old sleeping on park benches and huffing glue. Of course, this isn’t to say Brazil has a perfect track record; not all who abandon their babies or children to orphanages did so willingly. Today that orphanage/international adoption agency we tried going through no longer does international adoption. That’s the thing. They now believe living in a well run orphanage or trying to reunite them with their families is much better. I am glad they found their moral compass because during one of my times to Brazil I saw a Dutch couple at the orphanage working with an agency worker planning to adopt the infant but not his 3 year old brother cos he had cognitive delay and deformities. I did say something when I was there but was basically pushed out of the room. I was very young. Too naive at the time to know don’t get a child from these people. I was amazed to read they felt it best to completely end adoption for the kids they help. My adoptive mom was saying this last year to me “with millions of people in a country why does a child need to be internationally adopted?” unless of course one of those parents living abroad is actually from that country. The reason why is because there needs to be a change within that country to accept that child. Take, for example, Bulgaria. Bulgaria is one of many countries where special needs children are seen as a curse or punishment for their parents’ sins (right Bulgaria, the same country that ties dogs’ legs together and spins them around high up in the air; fucking sick). So, this goes back to adoptive parents through international adoption wanting to help and love a child who would grow up stigmatised in his own country. Yet, the question has to be asked, why isn’t the multibillion dollar adoption industry (and that’s $15 billion in the US alone for both domestic and international adoptions, think about how much more if we tack on other countries) laying down grassroot programs and educating local people on why a child with say spina bifida is not a punishment for their parents’ sin or any other ludicrous idea. Why? Because they would be making less money. Ask yourself why the adoption industry isn’t helping to fund women led businesses. Ask yourself why the adoption industry isn’t trying to improve the lives of battered women, both in the US, Canada, Ireland, and the UK and poor nations, but would rather help themselves to her baby than provide family preservation and assistance. Ask yourself why the adoption industry has done nothing in regards to teaming up with people like Medicins Sans Frontiers who provide quick, easy, and inexpensive surgeries so that parents can get back to work, or in many cases, work for the first time.

This is where your part comes in. This is where you learn precisely what you can do to help.

  1. Educate people on the problems with international adoption. Tell them that some of these kids are even being murdered. People need to hear the truth.
  2. Watch Ethiopian Adoptions Journeyman Pictures and share the video.
  3. If you live in a developing nation, have a spouse from there, or travel there a lot and know the culture very well find a way to make a grass roots organization that educated the people (often poor people) on how and why female children and children with disabilities are not curses.
  4. Understand that the money you spend to adopt one child internationally can do heaps more good to help an entire village of children by investing in local village needs. Instead of adopting Erika, we ended up being able to support children throughout Venezuela, Sierra Leone, and Brazil (we did look at ways to help Appalachian American children and Eastern European children but there weren’t any programs at the time) through better farming equiptment, irrigation, and schooling. Your money will help so many more kids. This needs to be about helping children, not helping yourself. Again, this is no knock on international adoptive parents (most of you). This is to say, okay now I know better and can do better. Now, I know the huge amount of money we spent on adopting our son, daughter, we can now instead of adopting another international child we can know invest that money into an entire village.
  5. Sponsor a Native American child living in poverty. Advocate for the end of violence towards Native and First Nations women and donate to their causes.
  6. Watch Journeyman Picture’s Albania’s Child Organ Farms. Poor Albanian children who are kidnapped and sold for adoption or worse, their organs. Again where is the adoption industry out of the UK or US demanding this ends?
  7. Make a donation to a worthwhile organization that is helping women from poverty, and often from minority groups, work in fair trade conditions. Our neighbors to the south, Mexico, have many women living in extreme poverty whose children end up in orphanages. By helping to support these women’s businesses, we help their children.
  8. Be understanding to refugees. In order to seek asylum in the US, people have to show up here. The separation of parents and children at the border is nothing new. America has been separating families for profit for generations (Georgia Tann, Native American children, poor White children, Irish children, African American children, mothers of adoption loss today lied to and told their child deserves richer, married parents or that oh yeah the open adoption will totally stay open). I understand that illegals from Guatemala who go to Mexico are deported. I also understand that Mexico is a lot poorer, a lot more corrupt, and a lot more violent overall than the United States. These people are trying to escape drug cartels that literally behead people. No, they are not here to try and take your jobs away or are “a bunch of jerks because they came here illegally” these are people who are trying to not get their fucking heads cut off!!!!!! That is how bad it is in the countries below us like Guatemala. Do what you can to pass legislation that allows asylum for people who need it, and yes in countries where women lack rights (and abortion, again, is not a right as in deliberate intentional killing of an unborn baby, not as a side effect of the necessity to save a mother’s life) domestic violence is a reasonable means for needing asylum in the United States or Canada whether or not all (cough male) politicians agree.
  9. Donate to Cure is run by a Nepalese surgeon and an American surgeon. They operate, literally, in 14 Asian countries where they remove cataracts from adults. Going blind in many extremely impoverished Asian countries or regions of Asian countries such as western China, Nepal, Tibet, and Laos is seen as normal aging. With only $20 US dollars per surgery, including hygienic surgical equipment these people’s lives are completely changes allowing them to work and not lose their children to orphanages and thus international adoption. Even a donation of a mere $20 could save multiple children in one family from entering an orphanage.
  10. Donate to Medicins Sans Frontiers.
  11. Educate people on how rape conceived children are not bad reminders to their mothers. This is not just an international problem but a domestic problem. It is a myth that they are bad reminders, a myth too many women fell for as victim to having an abortion or losing their baby to adoption. Having a friend who survived the rape and attempted murder by a serial killer in the United States (serial killer now thankfully dead) she can tell you firsthand her son is not a reminder, nor is any other mother in her scenario thinking of their child as a bad reminder, and that 100% of women and girls like her are pressured upon learning they conceive pushed, persuaded, lied to, and even threatened to get rid of it. In some countries, like Ethiopia, the mother and child are both ostracized, basically the mom is blamed for the rape. It is up to women to help women to understand that they have done nothing wrong in conceiving, that their child is not the seed of evil or devil’s spawn, and changing a culture’s belief system to be more accepting of children conceived in violence and give support to mother and child together; as a unite. That strongly goes for the United States as well.
  12. Many children right here in America are unnecessarily taken by CPS. While medical kidnapping and other forms of corruption do occur something as simple as becoming a literacy volunteer allows a parent to become literate, find a much higher paying job or a job in the first place, and be able to support his or her child or children. America has an illiteracy problem. Educate yourselves on medical kidnapping through CPS, other corrupt and unnecessary taking of children, and cases like the Kimberly Rossler of Alabama case, and demand major reform in America’s CPS industry and adoption industry.
  13. Children in many poor parts of the world and/or their parents are being separated because of poverty. Consider sponsoring a child such as one from Moldova or Albania. Fathers in these countries are literally selling their kidney in order to feed their families.
  14. Too many children are institutionalized and not sent to school simply because of a minor handicap or because they can’t afford the uniform or because their parents can’t afford vaccines. helps cure blindness in Asia. Medicins Sans Frontiers helps with vaccines. You can also find organizations that provide uniforms to kids throughout African countries. You can donate to a sanitary pad company that educates impoverished people in African countries on menstruation and provides sanitary pads to poor girls so they don’t miss school. In some countries, like Nepal, China, Uganda, and Ethiopia Deaf children and hard of hearing are being denied an education and the right to learn sign language. If you know sign language or American sign language be willing to teach upper class people in these countries SL or ASL (two different languages entirely) so that they can then teach others, including children. Consider working with an organization that provides simple solutions such as reading glasses and hearing aids to adults and children.
  15. Make  a donation to Operation Smile can help children born with a cleft palate.
  16. Become a volunteer with Saving Our Sisters.
  17. Donate to Refugee Caravan.
  18. Contact the Immigration Justice Campaign.


All of these ways to help will actually improve a person’s life, increase a family’s economy, further education, and keep children out of orphanages, and keep families together. We need to be outraged about the separation of children and parents at the border, we also need to demand Guatemala, Mexico, and the US investigate how many of these children who are making the perilous journey alone are being murdered along the way. At the same time, we need to demand reform and do what we can to end the unnecessary family separations of domestic infant adoptions, children unnecessarily placed in orphanages, and forced separation through CPS just to name a few.

*Please note, I am well aware that some children taken away by CPS need to be because they are in a life or death situation. The problem is in so many cases they don’t need to be. So many times the extended family has to fight for custody of the child, and they shouldn’t. Too often an adoptive couple can adopt the child, but an extended family member is told they are too old, yet they are actually younger than the adopters.

It’s time to help all families, and it’s time to make amends to all of us who were affected by family separation.

History of Poland and the Polish People.

(Please note I will have to finish this in parts. I’m typing up what I have so far).

I have only 4% Polish blood, but I’m going to soak up every percentage of it as Poland is my favourite country in the entire world.

Three different types of human species inhabited Poland in the Stone Age that lasted about 800,000 years starting with early human species that died out to complex agricultural societies. Homo erectus was found in Poland that is about 500,000 years old. Neaderthals lived in the southern half of Poland from 300,000 bc to 40,000 bc. Archaeological evidence proves the Neaderthals had different cultures. These Neadenderthals worked as hunter gatherers and they were not stupid. They were incredibly skilled hunters.

Homo sapiens appeared in Poland in 40,000 bc. However, no humans lived in Poland during the coldest part of the Ice Age lasting 20,000 bc to 15,000 bc. Homo sapiens of Poland survived mainly on meat. The oldest boomerang, dating 30,000 years old, was found in Poland and here I was thinking they were native to Australia.

The Aurigracian culture which was a prominent Stone Age culture throughout Europe is known for their art, statues of women exaggerating the hips, breasts and other anatomy associated with female fertility have been found in Poland.

Poland’s possible oldest burial occurred 27,500 years ago. The burial of an eighteen month old child complete with decorative artifacts with a pendant made of teeth of a large hooved mammal.

In 14,500 bc the Magdalenian culture existed in Poland. People lived in units of twenty or thirty families. They had dugout posts, ornamented bone cutlery, a hearth, and evidence they traded as did earlier European tribes.

During the Mesolithic period, 9,000 bc to 5,500 bc new tribes came into Poland and slowly hunter gathering ended and gender roles were devised that would last multiple millenia. Dogs were also domesticated in Poland during this time.

In 5,000 bc a wave of newcomers came to Poland from south of Poland. One of these tribes brought pottery. Two of these tribes were the Polgár and Lengyel. The tribes of Poland in 5,000 bc lived in trapezoid shapes houses protected by beams, earth walls, moats, and other forms of protection. Princesses’ graves were filled with copper jewellery showing a hierarchy existed.

Poland’s Bronze Age occurred in 2,300 to 2,400 bc and Iron Age between 700 and 750 bc. A wave of far more tribes came into Poland during these epochs. The Lusatian culture was most dominate until the Scythian invasion in 6th century bc. The Scyths came originally all the way from modern day Iran.

During Antiquity, Celtic, Germanic tribes (depending on era) were in Poland along with minority tribes. The first of these were the Celts, originating from central Europe, who had a mighty empire. Next were the Germanic tribes who were then ruled under the Romans. The northeast of Poland remained controlled by the Baltic tribes.

Prior to Mieszko I’s baptism into Christianity (whose son Bolesław I became the first king of Poland) Polans (the west Slavic tribe) were pagans. Paganism is a broad term for polytheistic religions primarily in Europe. Christiaity came to Poland in 966 AD, but it by no means was a non-violent conversion. Uprising in the 1030s among peasant pagan Poles resulted in a substantial loss in Catholic churches being burnt and priests being murdered. The uprising also was a fight against feudalism brutally imposed on them by Catholic military, along with pagans in Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, and Finland.


More to come at a later date.

Part 2 The Multibillion Dollar Loosely Regulated, Uncredentialed Adoption Industry: 2016 Total Assets of a Multitude of Adoption Agencies in the United States.

All figures are the total assets of each agency from 2016 unless states otherwise. I also want to know why some agency’s, like mine (I hate them), do not have their 990 forms listed on and where I could find them.

  1. A Bond of Love Adoption Agency- FL $140,818.00
  2. A Lifetime Adoption Foundation CA $15,754.00
  3. AAA Friends in Adoption Inc Fia Friends in Adoption VT $1,396,883.00
  4. AAA Partners in Adoption Inc GA $0.00
  5. Aba Adoption Services Inc FL (2011) $20,098.00
  6. Academy of Adoption Lawyers CA $64,029.00
  7. Adoption Advocates Inc FL $612,780.00
  8. Adoption Advocates Inc TX $714, 105.00
  9. Adoptio Advocates International WA  $0 (They closed).
  10. Adoption Alliance TX $2, 216,769.00
  11. Adoption Alliance CO (2011) $117, 498.00 (2012) $0. Can someone explain to me why the numbers jump so much year to year?
  12. Adoption Associates Inc MI $1, 954, 700.00
  13. Adoption at Adoption Circle Inc OH $306,276.00
  14. Adoption Avenues OR $294, 165.00
  15. Adoption Center for Family Building IL $172, 140.00
  16. Adoption Center of San Diego (2015) $143,033.00
  17. Adoption Connection PA $1,002,974.00
  18. Adoption Exchange Association Inc MD $1,174,607.00
  19. Adoption Guild of Southern Orange County CA $9,488.00
  20. Adoption Horizons CA  (2017) $111,962.00
  21. Adoption Information Center CA $1,315.00
  22. Adoption Learning Connection Inc FL (2010) $0
  23. Adoption Ministry of Youth With a Mission WA $0, but 2015 $110,883.00 and 2014 $431,955.00
  24. Adoption Options $382,454. CO
  25. Adoption Options Inc CA (2012) $91,030.
  26. Adoption Priorities Inc TX (2015) $4, 163.00 but 2013 was $66, 754.00
  27. Adoption Related Services of Pineallas Inc FL $306, 656.00
  28. Adoption Rhode Island $582, 490.00
  29. Adoption Star Inc NY (2015) $3,660,886.00
  30. Adoption Services Associates TX (2013) $92,208.00 and $545, 384.00
  31. Agape Adoption Agency of Arizona Inc $339,405.
  32. Amara Parenting and Adoption Services WA (2015) $9,295,080.


About another 30 agencies and their assets will be listed soon but I’ve had more than enough of being on the computer today.

Part 1: The Multibillion Dollar Loosely Regulated, Uncredentialed Adoption Industry: Following the Money.

I know, I said the next articles will be on my heritages. I’ve been busy, so I’ve put aside researching. The next article coming for my heritages will be Polish. I’ll get it done when I get it done. Actually, I had more important things to do today than this list, but here we are.

I do give credit to Claudia. I’m basically spewing out what she already talked about. I got the 2016 assets myself, but this prior information before I start listing is her research. The 2016 total assets will be in the next article. I don’t deserve the credit for this one. Nonprofit adoption agencies can and do make a profit. So one nonprofit adoption agency can donate to another non profit. When a non profit goes out of business it’s remaining assets must go to another non profit. Many adoption agencies work as both non profit and a profit arm. They take donations and then use the business to write off expenses as a loss. So, let’s look at Adoption Star that operates out of New York State. In 2011, Adoption Star had 43 babies lost to adoption. They earned $1,487,094.00 in total revenue. Mathematically that is $31,170.37 per baby. In 2011, 15 individuals were employed. $561,576.00 paid out in salaries, benefits, etc. That’s $37, 438.40 a year. One of the board membrs is a judge who worked as a family court judge in D.C. The owner and treasurer are husband and wife. Their 2011 W-2/1099 -MISC showed $168,947 and $6,758. $99, 219.00 in government grants which are originally taxes. Adoption Star does not pay taxes on what they make at Adoption Star as profits, though the employees do get taxed. Michele, in 2011 made seven times the social workers and case managers. Advertising expenses are $200,000.  They have $84, 972.00 in “other” expenses.  $1.3 million in investment funds. Adoption Star’s 2011 mutual funds were $1,058,451.00. What does a non profit need mutual funds for?

So, let’s look at some more.

National Council for Adoption. Sounds like they know what they’re talking about right? Well, they don’t. The group is entirely self appointed. It’s nothing more than a lobby group promoting adoption as only positive to sway the public. It’s a lobby group working on behalf of adoption agencies. There is no actual oversight in the United States when it comes to the adoption industry, and basically I anything I post in this entire blog is 99% the same for Canada. So let’s break down this lobby group. The stats are a bit old but they are from Claudia except the updated 990 form I checked. 2005 IRS form #990 total gross receipts $2,920,818.000. 2017 total assets $1, 485, 927.00. Just over $1 million from public support. $50,000+ from membership dues. Gladney Centers for Adoption and Bethany Christian Services are members. Check out their IRS 990’s to see where the money is rolling in. The Gladney Centers in Texas have one main “hospital” group and two other big “funds”. (I don’t know why Claudia has hospital in quotations). Combined in 2007 for a total of $39 million declared as assets and another $12,154, 675.00 claimed as income after expenses. Bethany Christian Services NC, IA, MI $3,098.830.00 assets of $1,236,037.00. Religious organizations donate like Family Research Council and the LDS Church because they believe adoption saves babies from abortion. It does not. I’ve already proven that. This is why Save the 1 needs to stop promoting adoption because the whole “I gave you away and want nothing to do with you” is blaming the baby for what happened.

The greatest portion of the NCFA’s funding is from government contributions and grants. 2003 that was $8, 323, 973.00. Over $20 million in government grants up to 2007. Tax levees collected from US citizens from the Federal government and awarded to an adoption agency lobby group. Thomas Atwood was making $150,104.00 per week working sixty hours a week to promote that it’s a good thing parents are losing their children to adoption in 2005. A benefit package in 2007 of $26,046. That’s a lot for someone “who wants to help poor and/or young pregnant women”. Daniel Resse $115 K and another $15K in benefits. Lee Allen $91 K and another $16 K in benefits and perks. Charles Johnson $88 K and another $13 K for national training opportunities to convince people that adoption is all rainbows. Anyone notice this lobbyist group that is telling pregnant mothers that giving away their babies is an awesome thing don’t actually themselves have an uterus? Parenting is not on the lobby’s agenda. $162,172.00 on educational “garbage” that one must buy about how “superb” adoption is. These numbers are at least ten years old, but this should not deter you from facing facts about the major reformation needed in the adoption industry and that this is not about helping mothers and babies. Helping mothers and babies, parents and babies is called family preservation.

We even see some try to say that their studies prove adoption has no long lasting psychological impacts on first mothers. Dr. Charles T. Kenney happens to be president of the The Right Brain People. He’s an expert on consumerism and psychology, so who knows why they would have him study mothers of adoption loss, but anyway he paid 51 first mother $100 each and was asked to “work with” these mothers of adoption loss by the National Council for Adoption. They reported being blindfolded and they were forced to relive the loss of their child. Their conclusions


Well, I’m tired you can read the rest here.


Kind of wondered now why I wasted most of my day not doing what I needed to get done to reiterate this instead of just linking everyone to Claudia’s blog. Well, at least I got a bunch of the 2016 assets done.



The History of Sweden and the Swedish People.

Välkommen to the second article about my nine heritages. I am taking a break from adoption talk (in a way) to discuss the nine European countries where my ancestors come from, some a large percentage of my background and some small. In my previous heritage article, about Ireland and the history of the Irish people, I discussed how us closed adoptees are discriminated against by our adoption agencies, biological family members who got rid of us or pressured their daughters to get rid of us to keep a white picket fence image, and discrimination by state governments by not being allowed to know what our heritage(s) is/are. This is only the tip of the iceberg of discrimination closed adoptees endure. I also explained in the Irish article how this is not the same for those who grow up in their own biological family but don’t know their heritage or all of them (please read that article for explanation and interesting history on Ireland).

Having a connection to your people is important. Everyone, including closed adoptees, deserve to participate in activities, beliefs, traditions, artwork, recipes, dances, songs, and anything else related to the land of their ancestors or even biological relatives. For example, my lovely biological cousins Stefanie and Uwe are born and raised in Germany and have lived there their whole lives. (Which is yet another reason I need to stick to learning German). I’ll discuss Germany another time.

I only have a small amount of Swedish heritage. I wonder if I would’ve enjoyed Sweden more during the six times I visited Sweden in 2003 and 2004. Sweden was a country I didn’t feel too connected to when I visited, but I wonder if that would change if I returned knowing  now I have some Swedish heritage.

Well, how much do you know about Sweden?

Did you know the name Sweden came from the Dutch in the 17th century? The Dutch referred to Sweden as a great emerging power. Old English called Sweden Swëopëod (the p is not a p it’s the “th” letter still written in Icelandic) meaning “people of the Swedes”. In Old Norse Svípjód (the p is the “th” letter in Icelandic and the d actually has a hook on top and a slash through it, the other “th” letter still found today in the Icelandic alphabet). The Swedish name Sverige hails from the Svea and rike, first recorded in Beowulf.

Sweden was first inhabited around 12,000 bc by reindeer hunting hunter gatherers fishers. They occupied the most southern point of Sweden. These people were called the Bromme or Bromma tribe.

Sweden isn’t mentioned in writing until 981 AD by the Roman senator Tacitus. He mentions in 44 and 45 AD the Swedes had an amazing army and navy. Norse mythology states Swedish kings reach far back into bc. Old Swedish in early medaieval times/end of ancient times was written in runic script, also called futhark writing.

In the 500s AD, two tribe were living in Sweden, the Suetidi and the Swehans. It was recorded that they were very tall people, and were said to breed great horses. It’s said the Swedish king Adils (500s AD) had the best horses in Europe.

The Vikings of Sweden reigned from the 700s to the 1000s. The Swedish Vikings, along with the Gotlanders, travelled far to modern day Ukraine, Russia, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Belarus, the Black Sea, Finland (next door), and even all the way to Iraq. The Vikings, as we already know were fierce warriors (and terrorists) and impressed the Byztantine emperor (modern day Turkey) Theophils so much he made them his personal bodyguards. These soldiers wore a ruby red earring in their left ear and sewed ornamental dragons into their chainmaille.

The Vikings settled many cities. In my last article, I mentioned how Dublin, Cork, Waterford, and Wexford of Ireland were founded by the Vikings. In eastern Europe the Rus Vikings founded Kiev, Ukraine’s capital. The Vikings are also responsible for starting the czar dynasties of Russia. The name Russia comes from the Rus people and many White  Russians can trace roots to Sweden. Novgorod in Russia was also founded by the Rus Vikings. Described by the Iraqi Ahmad ibn Fadlan, the Rus were very tall and muscular and blonde. (I had read elswhere the Vikings were covered in tattoos and some were redheads). The women wore a box over each breast of iron, silver, copper, or gold which indicates her husband’s wealth. Each box has a ring from which depends a knife. The women wear neck rings of gold and silver. The most cherished jewellery for women were green glass beads.  The Slavic people of these lands became the Vikings’ slaves or were murdered.

Runestones in Sweden tell of the Vikings’ achievements in taking over others’ land. A runestone is a large stone that stands upright with runic inscription. They are often memorials to dead men who were heroic warriors. As Christianity entered Sweden, 70% of the runestones had explicitly Christian messages.

Nobody knows how Sweden came to be a kingdom. Eric the Victorious, born in or around 945 AD is said to be the first king of Sweden tying Sweden and Götaland together. Prior to his reign the two had been separate countries. Beowulf describes Sweden and Götaland going to war with each other three times in the 6th century, but whether these wars happened at all or how they happened is left up to legend. Parts of Sweden in the southwest at the time were owned by the Danes, and Swedes lived in what is now southwest Finland (Turku. Turku is still a Swedish speaking part of Finland. The Swedes ruled Finland from 1150 until 1809).

St. Angar of east Frankia is given credit with introducing Swedes to Christianity in 829 AD but paganism wasn’t completely replaced until the 1100s. In 1050 AD Sweden was listed as a Christian nation. After being Christianized, the Swedes from 1150-1293, according to legend, went to Finland to attack the Finnish, Tavastian, and Karelian pagans (who practiced a different paganism than what the Swedes’ ancestors had practiced).  King Eric IX was killed in Finland. The Swedes created settlements in southwest Finland and had lots of babies, greatly increasing their numbers. Eventually, Sweden ruled Finland for 700 years.

Besides the provinces of Halland, Scania, and Blekinge which were under Danish control and a part of Denmark, Sweden never had feudalism. The Swedish farmers were largely a free class. Slavery was next to never after Sweden was Christianized. In fact, King Magnus IV in 1335 abolished slavery and serfdom. Sweden was a poor country, even though its empire was expanding. Although King Magnus IV ruled over Sweden , Norway, and Iceland starting at age 17, and sent sailors as far away as Greenland, and he did expand his kingdom, he was seen as a weak king and hated by Norwegians. His enemies would make up lies that he was homosexual, which in the 1300s was seen as the worst thing ever, but historians say there isn’t any real proof. Nevertheless, the rumour caused him serious harm.

In the 14th century Sweden’s population, like much of Europe (but oddly not Poland) was decimated by the Bubonic Plague. It was so bad Sweden didn’t replace their population number from the year 1348 until the start of the 19th century!

1/3rd of Swedes died from 1349 to 1351! Yet, the 1300s were not all bad. Life did still go on. Swedish cities did gain greater rights thanks to German merchants. Quite often it happened that boys would come to be king as boys, so Swedish parliament chose 3 powerful families to act on the royal child’s behalf. It is also important to look up the Kalmar Union, but I’m not writing it here as its quite complex. In 1520, Denmark tried to overtake Sweden. King Christian II of Denmark had Swedish nobles executed. Around 100 were executed who were tricked into attending a banquet. Bishops were executed too. The bishops were beheaded The others were hanged or beheaded. The chief executioner Jörgen Homuth states 82, not 100, men were executed. The women were taken as prisoners back to Denmark. Some of these women, like Christina Gyllensteierna became powerful and highly intelligent women that negotiated with King Gustav. King Gustav became king of Sweden in 1523. Swedes consider their independence day to be June 6, 1523. King Gustav I’s reign was considered to be the golden era as Gustav got rid of the greedy Hanseatic League.

By the 1600s, Sweden became a powerhouse and overtook parts of Poland, Lithuania, and Russia in the Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648). King Gustav II almost became the Holy Roman Emperor but was shot and stabbed to death on the 6th or 16th of November 1632 a little after 1pm with his final being an execution style bullet to the temple. Next came King Charles X who expanded Sweden farther. Charles X lived to only 37. Gustav II only had one daughter another family’s son was put into rule. 1696 was a bad year though where 10% of Swedes starved to death because of a famine. For the later half of the 17th century Sweden was in constant warfare. Charles II had one of the best arsenals in the world, and a large army and fleet, but it was no match for Sweden’s biggest nemesis, Russia. In 1700 to 1702 though the Russian army was pitiful. Sweden could’ve easily went in and took over Russia, but Charles II for some reason or other, decided to be nice and wait until Russia rebuild to give them a fighting chance so instead he defeated and killed the Polish King August II overtaking part of Poland (and the Swedish army was only half the size of the Polish army).

On August 30, 1721 Sweden’s vast empire came to an end. The Treaty of Nystad gave Estonia, part of Lithuania, and parts of Finland to Russia in exchange for 2 million silver coins. Russia returned most of Finland back to Swedish hands.

During the Napoleonic Wars, Sweden allied with France. This ended in an 1814 ceasefire with Norway until 1905.

By the late 1800s, Sweden was poor again. Between 1750 and 1850, the population doubled, but famine was a problem. Many starved in northern Sweden in 1866-1868. To prevent rebellion, a mass amont of Swedes left for America. From 1850 to 1910, 1 million Swedes came to the USA mainly to the Midwest. Some did go to Canada. Swedish farmers always had freedom and a voice, and so they used it to better their lives creating the Agrarian Party. They also introduced the potato to Sweden which boosted economy. From 1870 to 1914, Sweden joined the Industrial Revolution. People became involved in socialist unions in the start of the 20th century, but Sweden avoided becoming communist as parliamentary was reinstated and the country was then democratised.

During WWI, Sweden was neutral although they did aid Germany. Sweden remained neutral in WWII, but honestly they weren’t. They supplied Germany and were heavily under German influence. However, Sweden did rescue Jews and support Norwegian resistance. They also supported Finland’s independence from Russia. At the end of WWII, Sweden served as a haven for Jewish refugees. Post WWII, Sweden chose to stay out of NATO and the Warsaw Pact, but did supply Europe to rebuild itself.

In the 1970s, Sweden was hard hit by the oil embargoes. In the 1980s, its industralisation had a facelift moving into the future.

In 1995, Sweden joined the EU but has decided to keep their own currency the kroner. Swedes have been active in the UN in warzones.

Since the later part of the 21st century 20% of Swedish citizens do not have Swedish heritage. What has been an extremely safe country since post WWII has seen a rapid increase in violent crime since the immigration influx. In 2015, thousands weekly poured into Sweden. Swedes demanded improved immigration standards. Immigrants are now having more babies than Swedish women. There are now no-go sections of Sweden because of hand grenades, rapes, and gang warfare. Of course, most of Sweden is still very safe but it is still such a shame. United Nations’ statistics prove this uptick in violent crime. According to the New York Times, this violence (sexual assaults, gang warfare) is not happening from the recent immigrants that just came to Sweden from Syria within the past few years, but from past immigrants who are now second generation (probably grieving their mothers who risked their lives to bring their children to a better land and then wonder why their sons grew up to be such shitheads). This also doesn’t mean ethnic Swedes don’t commit crimes. Of course there are Swedish criminals, but Sweden’s open immigration policy did make it a safe haven for criminals to come in. (I also think about the women from these countries. In their home countries they get no voice and no help if abused or killed, but in Sweden they have a voice). Nevertheless, Swedish politicians have done a good job of currently fucking over Sweden.

Sweden has 25 provinces:

Swedish Latin
Provinces of Sweden
Ångermanland Angermannia
Blekinge Blechingia
Bohuslän Bahusia
Dalarna Dalecarlia
Dalsland Dalia
Gotland Gotlandia
Gästrikland Gestricia
Halland Hallandia
Hälsingland Helsingia
Härjedalen Herdalia
Jämtland Jemtia
Lappland Lapponia Suecana
Medelpad Medelpadia
Norrbotten Norbothnia
Närke Nericia
Öland Olandia
Östergötland Ostrogothia
Skåne Scania
Småland Smolandia
Södermanland Sudermannia
Uppland Uplandia
Värmland Wermlandia
Västmanland Westmannia
Västerbotten Westrobothnia
Västergötland Westrog


Swedish culture has been influenced heavily by Protestant Christianity. Semla is a delicious dessert that is a bun with almond paste and whipped cream topped with powdered sugar served with warm milk. Semla is served on shrove Tuesday. This is the last dessert until Lent is over.

Do you enjoy waffles? The Swedes found a way to make them religiously affliated. March 25th (which is actually today) Swedes celebrate the Blessed Mary learning she will be the Mother of God by eating waffles. How did this come to be? Simply a Swedish play on words.

Sweden has given the world many good things in the form of entertainment and use from ABBA to Skype to Lasse Hallström to great Swedish mysteries.

I hope you have enjoyed this tour of Swedish culture, history, and its people.

Oh, and fika because coffee makes the world go round.





The History of Ireland and the Irish People.

In the next nine articles, we’ll be stepping away from adoption and looking at the nine European countries where my roots come from. Some of them with a good percentage, others with just a teensy amount. How is this connected to adoption?

Until the creation of Family Tree DNA, by CEO Bennett Greenspan, who I interviewed in January 2017,  closed adoptees were denied our heritage. We could not know if we are German or Irish or Choctaw, etc. State governments, adoption agencies, and biological family who didn’t care about their family member’s rights but only wanted to see them gone to keep up the white picket fence image, discriminated and discriminate adoptees in a multitude of ways, this being one of them.

Exploring my roots, which I can now trace back thousands of years, has left me feeling proud of my ancestors, and others I am connected to through heritage. To have something in common when it comes to religion, folklore, traditions, beliefs, land, etc. This is something non-adoptees take for granted. Of course, there are always late discovery adoptees; older people who learn late in life they were adopted in which case their actual heritage or heritages can likely change.

But what about people not adopted who don’t know their heritage? Here is the difference. Prior to the creation of Family Tree DNA, in which Bennett created this with adoptees primarily in mind, non-adoptees who didn’t know their heritage could ask around. If their own parents didn’t know there was at least a guess. If their parents had no clue, they could ask extended family members. Of course, having no clue is actually a sign they might have been or might be adoptees. There was a time when telling people you were adopted or your child was adopted was seen as bad. Now, this isn’t necessarily meaning someone whose parent says they have no clue is adopted.

Take my adoptive Mom for example. She always thought she was 100% Polish. When she was a little girl, her grandma told her that they were not 100% Polish but everyone just laughed at her. My Mom tested and found out she is not 100% Polish, although she has a lot of Polish in her.

Closed adoptees are not able to ask around. This is why ancestral testing is so important, and because it’s the links back to our people, our lands, and our families.

So, without further ado The History of Ireland and the Irish People.

Up until about 10,000 bc most of Ireland was covered in ice. Sea levels were lower and Ireland, along with Great Britain, was connected to continental Europe. By 16,000 bc the sea levels rose and Ireland separated from Britain. The earliest humans arrived to Ireland 10,500 bc and communities formed as early as 8000 bc. They lived as hunter gatherers for four thousand years. About 4,000 bc cattle and sheep started to be domesticated, grains grown, and large timber buildings and stone monuments built. The first farm in Ireland (or Great Britain) dates from 4350 bc in County Kerry. In Tyrawley it’s believed the oldest extensive field system in the world exists.

The Bronze Age vastly changed people’s lives and started around 2500 bc. The wheel, harnessing oxen, weaving textiles, skillfull metalworking, brooches and torcs were invented. By the late Bronze Age the pre-Irish traded through the seas with tribes in Britain, western France, Spain, and Portugal (using modern names).

How Celtic Ireland was started is debated. We do know it emerged in the Iron Age. One theory says the Celts invaded Ireland four separate times. The Priteni, the Belgae, the Laighin, and the Gaels, the four tribes being from modern Britain and France. The second, newer theory back by archaelogists, is that Celtic languages and culture arrived in Ireland because of cultural diffusion. Historical linguists disagree. In 2012, a study of Irish men’s Y chromosome was done finding out 84% of Irish men have the R1b chromosome which dates back to 2500 bc in Iberia.

The Roman Empire, the mightiest empire of the ancient world, was never able to take over Ireland. The Romans referred to Ireland as Scotia. Ptolemy, the great geographer and mathematician, said sixteen nations inhabited Ireland in 100 AD.

From 100 AD to 600 AD these kingdoms went to war with each other. In the beginning of the 7th century a high king of Ireland emerged. People considered this high king to be a living god. The first high king in legend is said to be Sláine mac Dela (mac meaning “son of”). High kings ruled Ireland until 1198 AD. The most famous of these high kings is Brian Boru who ruled 1002-1014 AD. In the early medaieval times, a high king had to look perfect, so when Congal Cáech was supposedly blinded by bees he had to step down. Truthfully, high kings likely started in the 600s AD, but legend says they did in ancient times long before the Roman empire. Each region had a king that took orders from the high king who ruled from the Hill of Tara.

The brehons acted as lawyers enforcing the Behon laws. The Brehon laws, although adapted over time, kept the Irish in line until the late 1600s. Canon law made some definite changes as Christianity permeated Ireland. The Brehon law showed an Irish caste system. A lot was about property law, rights, and duties. Brehon law stated women were equal to men, and women could be brehon lawyers. Still, the Irish were patriarchal. In 697, a Christian law tried to raise the status of Irish women. Either way, Irish women overall had it a lot better than women in continental Europe at the time. Marriage laws were incredibly complicated. Divorce laws stated one could divorce if impotent, her husband was homosexual, or if her husband hit her and left a mark. Unfortunately, under westerm Catholic church law women were banned from giving testimony.

In 431 AD, Bishop Palladius entered Ireland to Christianize it before Saint Patrick. Patrick arrived in 432 AD. Saint Patrick was born in northwest England. As a teenager, he was kidnapped by Irish pirates and sold into slavery in Ireland. In his twenties, after walking hundreds of miles, he stowed away on a boat and went back to England. He returned, an older man, when he became a bishop to Christianize the Irish. The Druid religion collapsed because of them although not everyone at the time became Christian and many were burnt alive for not converting, not by Palladius or Patrick, but in centuries after. Christianity brought Ireland a demand for sculptures, metalworking, and manuscript illuminations none more famous in the world than the Book of Kells which can be viewed today in Trinity College Dublin’s Old Library.

In the 9th century, the gruesome Vikings invaded Ireland, raiding towns and monasteries killing everyone in sight. Warfare was going on between the Irish during Viking invasions as well. However, it is the Vikings that established: Dublin, Limerick, Waterford, Wexford, and Cork.

On May 1, 1169 Welsh and Norman troops landed in modern day Wexford County led by the famous archer Richard de Clare of Kent, England. In 1171, King Henry II of France, with blood ties to England, arrived in Ireland to see how well the “taking over Ireland” was going. In 1175 Irish kings were pushed to accept Henry as their own overlord in the Treaty of Windsor which was supported by the Church’s 1155 Papal Bull Laudabiliter issued by Pope Adrian IV for Henry to take over Ireland so that Ireland’s financial and administration would be integrated into the Roman Church. The bull could be a forgery though.

Slowly through the late 1100s and through the 1200s the Brehonic laws died out and the fuedal system came about. Ireland had a Parliament by 1297.

Irish elites and Norman elites married, but the Norman settlements in Ireland dwindled because of the Bubonic Plague. The Irish parliament wanted to preserve Irish blood and so in 1367 they passed the Statues of Kilkenney which demanded English subjects speak only English and follow English laws and customs. The success paid off and eventually (although with some Norman influence) Irish culture and language grew.

In 1542 the misogynstic, head chopping wives, Henry VIII, called himself King of Ireland and the Tudors took over most of Ireland. By the beginning of the 1600s England ruled Ireland completely as Irish earls fled to mainland Europe and the Irish lost Tyrone’s Rebellion. Occurring during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, she sent more troops into Ireland to crush the rebellion (18,000 men) than into any other battle or war in her times. During this time, the English and Scottish took over farmlands in southern, central, and especially northern Ireland (modern day North Ireland), but not so much western and eastern Ireland. One could call this time Irish genocide as 20,000 Irish soldiers died on the battlefield protecting their beloved Ireland and 200,000 Irish (many women and children). Another 50,000 were sent to be indentured servants in the West Indies. The Catholics (men) were deprieved of equal rights and could no longer sit in Parliament. In 1740, a famine hit that starved 1/8th the population. Charities and the wealthy did what they could to help as many as possible. In 1782, Ireland won back her legislative independence. In 1803, Robert Emmott tried and failed to rebel against England and make Ireland entirely free. He was only 25 when he was captured. Emmett’s attorney was bought, but McNally’s assistant Peter Burrows refused to be bought and tried his best to defend Emmett. Emmett’s speech before his sentence is one of the most famous. On September 20, 1803 he was hanged, drawn, and quartered. He is hailed a hero with a stamp made of him in 1953.

Ireland was passed over by the Industrial Revolution because it didn’t have iron and coal, and because England saw Ireland as its agricultural capital. The Great Famine of 1845 to 1851, when potatoes were blighted, starved a million Irish and another two million left to Canada and the United States, although many never made the voyage across the Atlantic. For decades, civil unrest occurred across Irish. A fifth of Ireland either died or left between 1845 and 1851. The population continued to decline until 1961, with most going to the United States. It wasn’t until 2006, County Leitrim recorded a rise in population since 1841.

Irish nationalism, especially amongst the Catholics, increased in the 19th and 20th centuries. Although Daniel O’Connell couldn’t take his seat in Parliament because was Catholic, he won and eventually convinced the Prime Minister to repeal the discriminatory act towards Catholics. He went head to head with the lawyer William Saurin who discriminated Catholics, and who was the most influential man in Dublin administration 1810s and 1820s. John D’Esterre challenged O’Connell to a duel, and O’Connell killed him. O’Connell suffered likely PTSD from killing a man and leaving his wife and daughter impoverished. D’Esterre’s wife refused regular payments from O’Connell, but did accept her daughter to take them. He paid her 30 years until he died, and mentioned through his life how much that duel haunted him. Debate is up to how much he helped Catholics, and exactly how much discrimination was going on at the time. In fact, I’m not sure if O’Connell was responsible for getting Catholics back in Parliament, but I can say he did play a role.

In 1913, the Ulster Volunteers formed so that Catholics wouldn’t overtake Ireland (then a part of Great Britain). They were terrorists. In 1914 the Irish Volunteers, the Catholic posse formed.

Ireland went to war in WWI, although some Irish wanted to remain neutral. 1916, Easter week, Ireland rose up against British occupation with the National Volunteers and the Irish Citizen Army fighting for Irish independence. The leaders were executed by firing squad (15) and hanging (1) May 3rd through May 12th, but their rebellion and execution set off a wave of Irish pride in the people. They were, in order of execution dates, Patrick Pearse age 36, the handsome Thomas MacDonagh age 38, Thomas Clarke age 58, who spent 15 years in English prisons, Joseph Plunkett age 28, William Pearse (Patrick’s brother) age 34, Edward Daly age 25, Michael O’Hanrahan age 39, John MacBride age 47, Éamonn Ceannt age 34, Michael Mallin age 41, Seán Heuston age 25, Con Colbert age 27, Colbert had a no fucks given look if the pic I found was taken when he was a prisoner and was glad to die for the cause, James Connolly age 47, and Seán Mac Diarmada age 33 and also handsome.

In 1919, the Irish gained their independence. The Dáil Éiran (Parliament) was set up in 1919. The Volunteers became the IRA and led a guerilla war in Northern Ireland until 1922. In 1921, it was decided North Ireland would remain part of the United Kingdom.


Through the 1920s and 1940s, the Irish government went through a series of changes. During WWII, Ireland remained neutral, but did offer assistance to the Allies. Still, around 50,000 Irish fought with the British troops. Post WWII, large amounts of Irish left again many for America.

Starting in 1987, Irish economy increased, and the 1990s were a great time. In 2000, Ireland was the 6th richest country. The fun ended 2008. In the early partof this century, the Irish started to leave the Catholic Church, and its numbers have gone down. In 2012, 14% of Irish were unemployed.

Ireland has 32 counties:


Today, 80 million people around the world have Irish heritage. 36 million Americans are Irish American with more learning their Irish ancestry every day.

Ireland is very well known for its Irish step dancing, music, and legends. Nobody in the world has revolutionized Irish dancing more so than Michael Flatley who is Irish American (dual citizenship). Irish music has a lot of rhythm. It also has instruments that are native and special to Ireland such as the bouzouki and the bodhrán. Mischievous, downright naughty fairies, nasty little leprechaun who love gold, banshees, and Finn MacCool and the knowledgeable salmon, merrows and sherries are just some of the creatures out of Irish folklore.

Some famous Irish are: Enya, Colin Farrell, Gabriel Byrnes, and many more playwrights, poets and actors. The fighter Conor McGregor is also hugely popular in Ireland.

So much more can be said on modern Ireland. I hope you have enjoyed this journey on Irish history and her people.