Dear LGBT Community of the United States: I Need Your Help.

I took a sigh before logging into WordPress. I’m a strong supporter of LGBT equality both here in the States and globally. I try to learn more and more LGBT American history because it was never taught in school. Especially when I was going to school; graduated high school in 2003, in a time where homophobia was even more rampant than it is now. There are still, of course, more laws that need to be passed and enforced to keep the LGBT community safe such as addressing the appalling homicide rates of transgender people, taking domestic violence seriously amongst same sex couples, and banning companies in some states from firing people simply for being in a same sex relationship. I also speak out as a Christian about how homosexuality is not seen as a sin in the Bible. The word translated from Hebrew actually means paedophilia. The Bible finds paedophilia, not homophobia, sinful and evil because duh it is. It wasn’t translated into the word homosexual until the 1940s, and if anyone claims the Dead Sea Scrolls found in the 1940s claim otherwise they’re forgeries. The mistranslation done on purpose didn’t really take hold until the 1970s when gay culture started to grow and not be so hidden underground in shame. Then again trying to pinpoint precisely what is gay culture is another story for another night.

Ah, I mentioned I needed your help. My goodness, yes, yes my God yes I need your help. I’ve been an adoptee rights activist for over nineteen years. I was nominated last year to be on Ted Talks out of thousands, though I didn’t make the cut. I’ve been published numerous times in newspapers. I’m friends with people such as Joyce Bahr who runs Unsealed Initiative and Arun Dohle who has appeared on the BBC News and will appear on Ted Talks to discuss how corrupt international adoption is. The reason I mention this isn’t to brag, but to simply say I have done my research. I know what I am talking about.

I’m going to try to recap for you as quickly as I can what is going on here in NYS and why I and over 600,000 other New Yorkers really, really need your help.

Eighty-three years ago Senator Lehman of New York, from Brooklyn, bought two kidnapped children from the human trafficker Georgia Tann. You can read about her in The Baby Thief by Barbara Raymond. Tann created the birthparent privacy lie. Also, between common sense and my numerous interviews with first mothers and psychology professors wanting privacy from your own child simply because they were born at an inopportune time is psychologically abnormal. Senator Lehman convinced the New York State government to seal original birth certificates and adoption records, and then became governor himself, in order to hide what he did. That is the only reason why original birth certificates and adoption records are still sealed to this day in the state of New York.

Because of this sealing it has allowed a plethora of unethical and corrupt behaviour to occur when it comes to adoptions not just in NY, but across the US, and in Canada, Ireland, Australia, France, Spain, Greece, South Korea, and other countries. The sealing has allowed things like illegal trafficking of infants and toddlers via fake adoptions from Canada and Ireland into New York, writing abandonment on an infant’s papers in foster care when they weren’t, forcing mothers to sign relinquishment papers when they were heavily drugged on hospital drugs, bullying pregnant mothers such as telling them giving their child away is their only method of redemption and that they are only objects carrying a baby for someone else, and so much other bullcrap. No, most out of family adoptions have not been done ethically or for the betterment of the child. No, this isn’t an attack on most adoptive parents. Some are horrible; really horrible, but most I like to believe are good. The adoptive parents are almost always not the problem.

Right now, June 2019 after twenty years we finally have had our bill A5494 pass the Senate. We also got a super majority of cosponsors in the Assembly. Bill A5494 will unseal original birth certificates. What does this mean? All adult adoptees in New York State will know: their biological parents’ names, their original name, own what was stolen from them, help adoptees quickly gain access to biological family medical information including life saving, be given to the children of adoptees if the adoptee died, know their heritage, make connections if safe and possible, and expose even more unethical behaviour and corruption besides what has been exposed already such as purposely lying about what an adoptee’s heritage and/or race is.

So, what’s the problem and why do I and 600,000 other New Yorkers desperately need the support of the LGBT community? Look, we got two lesbians in the Senate who are powerful. Weinstein, who is an adopter and a lawyer, and Glick who is the head of education when she shouldn’t be because she doesn’t care about the equality of adoptees and therefore doesn’t care about equality for adoptee students.  Year after year these two  do everything in their power to block the bill to unseal original birth certificates from becoming a law; a huge stride forward in adoptee equality and a necessary bill for some adoptees to obtain quick biological family medical information in life or death situations as adoption agencies don’t have to give biological family medical information if they don’t want to even if the biological mother wants to give it which you can read about in A Hole in My Heart by Lorraine Dusky. Published in 2015, it still rings true today.  Weinstein told Joyce Bahr, a first mother and activist of forty years, who lost her son to adoption and then lost her son to his self inflicted damage caused by his adoption trauma, that if more support was gained she would listen. Well, she’s refused simply because she’s not a nice person and doesn’t wanted adopted people to have equality. It’s shameful that two women who come from a discriminated group themselves want to block equality and continue to discriminate another group of discriminated people, and yes some people are both LGBT and an adoptee.

Both Glick of NYC and Weinstein of Brooklyn have a lot of power in opposing equality for adoptees based on lies they’ve been called out for over and over and over again by mothers of adoption loss. Glick and Weinstein gain supporters through their work as women’s rights advocates and LGBT advocates. I am asking you to remember millions of adoptees in America are women. Millions of adoptees in America are also members of the LGBT community.

So what do I need from you? Three simple things.

  1. If it’s not too late call Heastie’s office June 15 or June 16th at 518-455-3791 and tell him to please bring A5494 to a vote now. 
  2. Share this article with every single LGBT person you know especially those who live in Manhattan and Brooklyn.
  3. Be vocal and explain that Glick and Weinstein do not support the LGBT community  since they do not support LGBT adoptees and should no longer advocate for non-adopted LGBT people in New York as well. We don’t need two horrible senators advocating for us. They need to lose voters. 

Us? Well, being in my thirties I figure as hard as this is for me to do I need to come out at some point. Yes, some of my friends knew for years like Brian Moe, who is gay and a fabulous dancer and I wrote an article about him on here. I’m bisexual. Probably an unconventional way of coming out but if I’m asking for support from the LGBT community I better explain I am a member. Plus, at some point I was going to have to rip the plaster off. Trust me, that was not easy for me to do whatsoever. Tune in next week when I discuss, will I remain a member of the Catholic Church? We’ll see by November 19th. 

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Over 600,000 New Yorkers Need Your Help Now, Up Until Tuesday June 18th at 4pm.

Yes, right now over 600,000 New Yorkers need your help. This is a serious matter about achieving a huge step forward in equality for adoptees. For some adoptees and for some adoptees’ children, this is literally a matter of life and death.

We have been fighting for twenty years to unseal original birth certificates in a clean bill in the state of New York. Other states have tried and succeeded, and most others are still trying. The same goes for Canadian provinces. Some have passed the law, but they have passed dirty laws allowing some adoptees their original birth certificate but not others based on their birthday. Can you imagine not being allowed what’s rightfully yours because your birthday is just the day after the cut off?

Currently, no adoptee who was adopted in New York State is allowed their original birth certificate. If you’re new to my blog I need you to read this article I wrote just a few days ago.

https://exposingadoption.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/nys-bill-s3419-and-yes-im-back/

It doesn’t matter if you’re from NY or not. If you live in NYS or used to live in NYS that’s even better but it’s not a requirement.

Bill A5494 is the bill that is being proposed to bring a huge step forward in equality for adoptees. After twenty years, we have most of the Senate on board. We finally have a super majority of the Assembly as co-sponsors. Only a tiny handful are blocking this from becoming law. They do not want the truth exposed because the truth will expose corruption and unethical behaviour.

All we need you to do, and to do it this weekend or it’s too late, is to respectfully call Mr. Heastie, the Speaker of the House, at 518-455-3791 and tell his secretary that we have a super majority in the Assembly as cosponsors and that it’s time to put A5494 to a vote now.

If nobody picks up because it’s the weekend, please leave a voicemail.

 

Closed Adoption is Abusive Cultural Genocide.

I spoke about this before, but hey my blog, I can speak about it as many times as I want. Out of family adoption is nearly always cultural genocide. I have a very good friend who is originally from the south Bronx. My goodness it’s so nice to have someone special in my life I can connect to in so many ways. He nor I are actually fans of the city, but anyway I was watching a documentary about a Puerto Rican street food vendour at I want to say 159 and Wales because my friend is Puerto Rican. The guy in the video definitely seems like a cool dude and he has a very giving heart; giving his food for free to children, the elderly, and the homeless. If you’re not familiar with the south Bronx it’s a poor area.

Though this man, and his ten children, might not have much they have not only each other, a steady stream of delicious Puerto Rican food, but also their culture. As they say, money can’t buy happiness. Surely, my distant cousin Princess Diana is probably one of the first people to come to mind for hundreds of millions. An abusive father to her mum, a string of nannies, no real attachment to her parents, and a marriage that failed because of infidelity. Although Prince Charles should’ve been allowed to marry the true love of his life from the getgo. I speak no ill of anybody. I’m simply stating facts.

Every single person deserves to know their ethnicity or ethnicities. Not their adoptive family’s, but their own.

Cultural genocide was practiced upon First Nations, Inuit, and Native American groups of North America with devastating, generational effects. This is why Native American, Inuit, and First Nations children must be adopted by at least one parent who is also Native/Inuit/First Nations, although not necessarily the exact same background.

Closed adoption is abuse. It’s abuse in many forms. One of those forms is through the practice of cultural genocide. I’ve spoken about this in my article called His Name is Jorge, but this time I’m doing it a little differently.

Adoption agencies lie. They lie and say an adoptee is one ethnicity when they’re not at all. For example, my friend is an adoptee and was told she’s half British. This means the ethnicity British not the nationality British. After doing an ancestral DNA test she discovered she is only 10% White and that 10% European ethnicity is Russian.

My own adoption agency, Catholic Family Center of Rochester, who has told numerous lies, and their “counsellor” who gaslighted me; proved by a friend of mine who is both an adoptive mum and a licensed therapist, refused to allow me and thousands of other closed adoptees to grow up knowing our heritages. When I was able to get my minimal information forms from the state of New York it said my biological paternal side was full Italian. This is simply not true. Although I look very Italian-American I am only a quarter Italian. Although I do have a German nose.

People might say, so what? There are children in this world dying of cancer. I don’t think responding with, “some people have it worse than you” is the appropriate answer to anything. People are well aware of this and it comes across as not sympathetic at all. Plus closed adoptees are denied biological family medical information.

Denying someone to know their cultural roots and to participate in it is punishing them for how they were conceived. When I watched that Puerto Rican man making great Puerto Rican food for his community on Youtube at 159 and Wales I could see the pride he had in his culture and his connection to his ethnic roots. There simply is no excuse for those roots to have been, and continue to be, severed by the multibillion dollar adoption industry. Catholic Family Center, Catholic Charities, Bethany Christian Services, the Catholic Church, the Church of Latter Day Saints, and numerous others owe adoptees a sincere apology.

Every person deserves to know who they are and be given the option to participate in clubs, parades, festivals, cooking classes, or what have you of their culture.  People, including some adoptees, need to stop finding the abnormal normal. What I mean by that is everyone needs to start addressing the cold, hard truth that removing a person from their biological family and from their culture and/or ethnicity is not the normal pattern for how a life should be and it will have consequences.

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I was very fortunate in January 2017 to interview CEO and creator of Family Tree DNA Mr. Bennett Greenspan who created the first ever ancestral DNA testing site purposely for adoptees to make biological family connections, when safe and possible, and know our heritages.

Without a doubt, my high school years would’ve been easier had I known my heritages. In fact, my entire life for that matter would’ve been easier if I had known my heritages. Was there any reason to create a cultural genocide? No. Was there any reason to lie about our heritages? Yes, because adoption agencies want to cover up the lies they told, the coercion, the corruption, the forced kidnappings via fake adoptions, and give us adoptees false information so that it’s a lot harder to search because search leads to truth and search leads to exposing. Sure, people adopted or not discover all the time they’re part French, for example, and never knew it. The difference here is closed adoptees had known nothing until the creation of ancestral DNA testing by Bennett Greenspan.

Every adoptee and every child of an adoptee should really do themselves the favour and do a test to know their ethnicities. Not only to expose these adoption agencies for their lies, but also to have a better understanding of yourself. Even if you did receive information on your heritage still test because it could be inaccurate.

NYS Bill S3419, and Yes, I’m Back.

I hadn’t planned to come back here and write more articles. In fact, I had planned to just shut up about adoption all together on social media, but it wasn’t meant to be. How could it be? I’ve been having a lot of intellectual discussions with a very good friend of mine from the Bronx, and came to the conclusion that I need to keep speaking in order to not only educate, but also open minds and hearts to the equality us adoptees deserve and the adoption reform that is absolutely needed. There’s so much more to discuss. Of course, there will always be the jackasses who don’t want to learn or budge on their closeminded views, be it equality for adoptees or say equality for women and LGBT people, but we cannot let those people prevent us from speaking and doing what is good. I’m not the least bit sorry if my truth on this blog offends.

The lady in my photo is Senator Montgomery and I and other adoptees owe her a lot of gratitude. Senator Montgomery of Brooklyn is the sponsor for the NYS Bill S3419. Bill S3419 is a clean bill that demands us adoptees receive our original birth certificates that have been unnecessarily, selfishly, and corruptly taken from us by the New York State government for over eighty years. I’m sure my readers have a lot of questions so I’ll explain what this bill is about and why it’s so badly needed in a question and answer form.

What is a clean bill? This means that bill S3419 does not have an opt out method for biological mothers so that the NYS government can’t cross out their names. Every adoptee, if this passes, will be able to see their original names before adoption, and the names of their biological mothers and their biological fathers if they were listed on the original birth certificate. It is important to remember the name of their biological mother is her name at the time of adoption, and it could have been changed if she married.

What is an original birth certificate and what do adoptees have instead? An original birth certificate is your birth certificate that shows your original name and who you are born to. It’s the first step, the first piece of paper proving your biological ties to your biological family, and therefore your very existence. Instead, adoptees have an amended birth certificate which falsely claims that they are the born child of their adopted parents or that we were born to nobody. It’s scientifically ludicrous, basically. It’s even more ludicrous when it’s an out of family adoption of an older child or a gay adoption as clearly men cannot give birth.

Why were original birth certificates in NYS sealed to begin with?

Eighty-three years ago Senator Lehman, also of Brooklyn, bought two kidnapped children from the human trafficker and child kidnapper Georgia Tann. You can read about her in The Baby Thief by Barbara Raymond. Lehman wanted to hide what he did so he convinced the NYS to pass a bill that seals adoption records and original birth certificates, and then he became governor himself. This enabled him to hide the human trafficking he was involved in. Georgia Tann was paramount in creating the birthparent privacy lie. This is why I say the sealing of original birth certificates is a corrupt act, because it is. It was a law passed in New York State, and other states, as discriminatory and evil as the legalisation of say slavery in this country or allowing men to beat their wives. Evil? Yes, adoptees have died because of it.

What makes this year different is the fact that Senator Montgomery’s bill has finally passed the Senate. Only six losers voted against it. Six people who are on the wrong side of history, and sad to say some of these losers are from other discriminated groups of people, but enough about those who don’t matter. We were fortunate this year to have more support in the Assembly and in the Senate than any prior year. Whilst I strongly appreciate Queens’s Senator David Weprin’s support for the several years we’ve been at this, and his continuing support and proposals, this year we have a clean bill.

How will this change things for New York State adoptees? 

These are only some of the things that unsealing original birth certificates will do for New York State adoptees.

A. Make it easier to obtain a passport for those who were discriminated against having one simply for being adopted.

B. Allow adoptees to have a better sense of self identity by knowing their original name and thus their original heritage. For some adoptees, they have identity issues due to not having their original birth certificate. I’m not in that category, but many are.

C. We will rightfully obtain what damn well belongs to us.

D. Keeping original birth certificates sealed does nothing to keep adoptees and biological family members apart because of the creation of ancestral DNA testing. I was fortunate to interview in January 2017 the creator of the first ancestral DNA testing site. Bennett Greenspan created Family Tree DNA literally as a fuck you to state governments for hiding the biological family lines and heritages of adoptees and sealing our paperwork. I wish more people used it rather than ancestry.com because ancestry.com has promoted the lie of birthparent privacy; nevertheless both need to be used if you really want to find family members. However, some adoptees only have say third cousin matches on their ancestral websites and whilst making a mirror tree is possible for them it’s time consuming. Having the name of the biological mother makes it so much faster to find close family members. Of course, those third cousins could turn out to be a lot, lot, lot nicer and kinder than immediate biological family members such has been my case except a few close cousins on my biological paternal side and two biological paternal aunts.

E. It will help to save adoptees’ lives. Adoption agencies can deny biological family information, including life saving information, even if the biological mother wants to give it. What if the biological mother is deceased? By unsealing original birth certificates an aunt or cousin, for example, could supply family medical information to the adoptee. I know of one New York State adoptee who is battling a deadly illness. Her doctor has demanded to her county that her biological mother be contacted because she is literally dying. Her young teenage daughter could be orphaned, if not already because I haven’t checked the horrible status in like a year or maybe two, if they don’t find close biological family in time. The tests with ancestral tests have not helped because only extended and distant family have matched with the adoptee. Her own doctor demanded that they receive information because it would help him be a better doctor to his patient. The doctor and the adoptee were denied because that’s how cruel and anti adoptee county governments are to adoptees. Trust me, other adoptees within New York State and within other American provinces, Canadian provinces and territories, and Irish counties have died because of this or the children of adoptees.

F. The unsealing of original birth certificates can help solve certain cold case homicides. When a body is missing but the blood from the homicide scene is still at the scene that blood can be used to be compared against other biological family members. Unless an adoptee has their own biological child, closed adoptions have slowed the progress of solving homicides of closed adoptees. I do understand these cases are not common; a closed adoptee being murdered and their body missing, but the point is that it’s simply discrimination and costing police literally hundreds of thousands of dollars because you’re not allowing the men and women in blue to do their work as easily as they deserve in an already outrageously hard job.

G. Unsealing original birth certificates is going to expose a lot of corruption and unethical behaviour that has occurred in New York State.

What kind of corruption and unethical behaviour will be exposed by unsealing original birth certificates?

Just to name a few.

  1. First mothers who asked for their babies back within the legal time frame but their calls, emails, and letters went ignored.
  2. Those who wrote abandoned on the foster papers before the adoption when the first mother didn’t actually abandon her baby.
  3. First mothers who were made to sign relinquishment papers when drugged up on hospital drugs.
  4. Priests and other authority figures who got women, and worse yet girls, pregnant and then wanted to hide what they did.
  5. Adoption agencies who knew about rapes, especially of minors, and didn’t report them. It will also expose rapists.
  6. Biological family members who wanted to raise their family member and were safe and able to do so, but were denied through our cash for kids foster system because this is how people make money by having them adopted out of their family.
  7. It will expose the lies adoption agencies have told.
  8. It will expose the people who did not support the first mother in her time of need in order for her to keep her baby.
  9. It will expose lies told by adoption agency attorneys.
  10. It will expose that separated twins and triplets to gain more profit such as in New York City and an adoption agency in Watertown. Not only that, but these twins and triplets weren’t even told they had a twin or triplet.
  11. It will expose adoptive parents who never told their children they are adopted. Late discovery adoption is all too common.

What about adoptive parents and their feelings? 

What about them? It is time we stop considering the feelings or desires of adoptive parents. It’s time to stop having adoptive parents be the spokespeople for adoptees. I understand one of the lies adoption agencies tell adoptive parents is that their love and support as parents will be enough, so when adoptees want to search some adoptive parents feel like they failed as parents when nearly often that is not the case whatsoever.  This isn’t about anyone else but adoptees. This is about equality for adoptees. Simple as that my readers.

But not every adoptee wants their original birth certificate, what do you say to that?

Not every adoptee wants their original birth certificate because many of New York State’s 600,000 plus adult adoptees have no idea their original birth certificate was sealed or the history behind why they were sealed or the ramifications that sealing cause them. Even if an adoptee chooses to not want a copy of their original birth certificate the fact of the matter is they belong to us adoptees to do with as we wish. As I mentioned before, for some adoptees gaining their obc will help with their self identity issues as some literally have depression and other mental health issues over this, for others it could literally save their lives. Why an adoptee wants his or her original birth certificate is actually none of our business; not even to other adoptees.

What if the adoptee is deceased?

I believe I read that the next of kin receive it.

What if the biological mother or biological father don’t want to be found? 

Too damn bad. We need to change the adage from prepare for rejection to prepare to be found. My discussions with first mothers, well educated adoptive parents, and yes Jo you have taught me a lot, and psychology professors have proven that not wanting contact with your child when found shows psychological abnormalcy. If they don’t want to be found they are blaming their own child for being born, and they are hiding something such as their behaviour be it rape or having an affair. It could also be something along the lines of having been severely bullied for getting pregnant and perpertrating that hatred for themselves onto their child or children if twins, when they shouldn’t even have that hatred towards themselves because they never should’ve been bullied for their pregnancy in the first place. Remember some of these mothers were blamed for being raped, or called whores because they had sex which is a basic human biological need and desire programmed in us humans for millenia, and some were told they would burn in hell if they told their husbands. Like I said, they need a psychologist in order to free them from the evils of the adoption industry’s lies and the society that has perpertrated the industry’s complete and utter bullshit.

And for the love of God stop using the “what if she was raped” excuse. I have friends who conceived their children in rape and are so damn fucking tired of having people use that as an excuse for abortion or for denying adoptees equality and denying adoptees connection with biological family members. You can say, well those are only two of your friends. Well, those two friends are two women who simply know that everyone deserves to be alive, that children needn’t be punished for the crimes of others, and that everyone deserves respect and equality. Although technically I’m not friends with one simply because her friends were constantly unkind to me, but I do care about her and I am considering writing her again.

Does Bill S3419 unseal adoption records?

No.

I have faith and a belief that this will finally be the year us adoptees in New York State receive a copy of our original birth certificates.

How can I help?

Write to the New York State speaker Heastie and explain to him why adoptees in NY deserve their original birth certificates.

Will unsealing original birth certificates bring full equality to adoptees in New York State?

No, but it’s a huge progressive step.

Thank you to Senators: Weprin, Montgomery, Liu, Lanza, Kaplan, Carlucci, Bailey, Salazar, Raynor, Fall, and Biaggi for being on the right side of history.

Thank you to the numerous Assembly members who are supportive. Unfortunately, there are simply too many to name.

Thank you to the New York Adoptee Rights Coalition for all of your immensely hard work in achieving this bill to pass.

 

18 Reasons Why I’m Officially Done Discussing Adoption Each for the 18 Years I Advocated and I’m Not Even Including The Years I Did From Ages 12 to 17.

So, this is an official goodbye. The last article you’ll see from me on this blog. The last adoption comment you’ll see online be it Facebook or Instagram. Why am I hanging up my hat?

  1. I have taught people a lot. I pass on the torch to them to talk to other people online and to create their own blogs and articles about the need for adoptee rights and adoption reformation.
  2. There is always something to talk about when it comes to adoption. Well, I know I have spoken about enough. I have articles published in newspapers, tons of articles on here, and thousands and thousands of comments online.
  3. I gave every New York State Assemblymember a list of how to fix adoption in NYS, bills they can propose such as no longer sealing the original birth certificate, abolishing closed adoptions, etc and all that good stuff. I’m well aware some won’t care because they hate us adoptees and want us to be discriminated, cos if you don’t believe in equality then you hate us, like Glick who sure as shit shouldn’t be the department chair of the NYS Department of Education since she believes in discriminating adoptees, and there are students who are adoptees. I have one who replied saying she is looking over what I wrote as possible proposals for 2020.
  4. I have an answer for almost everything. I’m not being cocky, at this point I can just copy and paste a resource to every person’s comment or question. Like I said, I’m done discussing adoption. I’m done writing about it, but copying and pasting a link that takes a mere few seconds when someone makes a comment such as “Jesus was adopted” isn’t a discussion, and if they reply to me I won’t be getting into any discussion with them. Believe what you want, I’m not here to be your fairy godmother of equality and common sense.
  5. I accept the fact there will always be people who don’t want to learn.
  6. I care about a lot of other things as well.
  7. I have met a lot of great biological cousins and two biological aunts. I don’t want to them to think I’m anything less than extremely excited to know them and their kindness.
  8. I’m tired of explaining myself whether it’s explaining I have great adoptive parents and wouldn’t be the person I am today if they hadn’t raised me, but still knowing change must be made or that there are various forms of adoption and that I actually support in family adoption if there’s total honesty. Again, I can just send someone a resource.
  9. I am an extremely hilarious person at times, and I know some of that has been lost in so many serious conversations about adoption.
  10. I said I’m done discussing adoption. I didn’t say I was done being an advocate. I still will be signing worthwhile petitions sent directly to those in Congress for changing from unsealing original birth certificates without a contact form and making the multibillion dollar adoption industry be made to pay for the forms and ancestral DNA test kits as they should do.
  11. Yes, I realise in my final goodbye to discussing adoption I am discussing adoption.
  12. My passion is writing, and adoptee rights and adoption reform is something I care about greatly. I feel that by permanently ending the discussions about adoption I am giving up control and giving it all to God. I am keenly interested in what will happen next.
  13. I don’t have to be the one in control. I don’t have to be the one to always answer people’s comments and questions. There’s plenty of us. Others can answer, and I hope it’ll now be those who have looked up to me and have learnt from me. Although I think it’s a bit silly people looked up to me, but oh well.
  14. Discussing adoption takes up a lot of my time. I have a lot of other things that need to get done.
  15. Because sometimes not intervening is best. Some young mothers will still “choose” adoption for their babies no matter what family preservationists like myself say. I can still and still will read through comments and if I feel someone else is helping great. If I feel nobody is getting her to see the problems with adoption then she can deal with the consequences. Her consequences aren’t my problem. Same for adopters who don’t tell their adopted child he or she is adopted. I can warn you, but it’s the same concept, and if you refuse when others told you to don’t cry when the child you took care of permanently severs a relationship with you. Again, not my problem. I might, might leave one of my articles for them, but again that’s not a discussion, I’m not replying to their replies of my article, and I’m only doing it if nobody has answered them after a few days and only if I really care.
  16. Because my power is taken bit by bit when I decide to answer comments such as just reading my Instagram now and hearing from a Black adoption agency employee that she doesn’t believe she is discriminating anyone by condoning and promoting closed adoption when I told her that as a Black woman coming from a discriminated group of people it’s revolting she chooses to promote discriminating others, and the fact that closed adoption blames the adoptee for the problems that led to them being adopted. I’m not getting into discussions or arguements with self-centered people who I believe will be in hell when they die for the bullshit they did here if they don’t truly repent, and who, frankly, don’t give two shits if you do explain things to them.
  17. Because I have spoken enough.
  18. Because I have informed law enforcement the dangers of adoption, and if they have any questions regarding an adopted child in a dangerous situation or want more detail on how adoption is linked to unsolved cold case homicides and high suicide rates in order to assist them with their jobs they will be the only people I will be giving an indepth answer to, and even then almost always I can just reference them my two articles on it.

 

 

I am interested to know what God is doing with me next as I hang up my hat.

Michigan Won’t Fund Adoption Agencies That Refuse Homosexual People: Should Gay People Be Allowed to Adopt?

This is such a loaded question and the one question that should be answered only by educated adoptees. We have come to a point in believing that allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt is a form of equality. However, as always, society and media completely ignores the equality of adoptees. Society and the media keeps ignoring the severe problems with the multibillion dollar adoption industry that is not even credentialed.

First, why the feck does Michigan have taxpayer funded adoption agencies? What revolting nonsense, when Michigan, like nearly every other single state discriminates adoptees. Why not taxpayer funded programmes that allow a family in need or a single mother who needs some financial and emotional support so that the baby or child can remain with the family and not endure the discrimination that adoptees do? If that isn’t possible, which once a pregnant or new mother has financial and emotional support only 3% to 5% would not keep their child, then why not fund programmes with Michigan residents tax dollars for kinship care or legal guardianship? There is nothing good about infant adoption agencies and the adoption industry, not a damn thing, and they are not necessary to prevent abortions.

This next part. Do please, please, please read. This isn’t milk, it’s not meant to be skimmed. I would hope that writing about one of my gay friends on this blog and how people should strive to be kind like him would tell you this is not a homophobic article.

Should gay people be allowed to adopt? Only in these circumstances:

1. They are adopting a biological relative of theirs, make a copy of their original birth certificate, have honest communication, are not abusive, and are doing this because the child or children’s parents are in prison, deceased, or unsafe. Look, I know it’s still discrimination to only get a copy and all adoptees deserve their original birth certificate. I even believe minors should, but having a copy of the original is a lot better than what closed adoptees have and those in open adoptions outside of their family, which is nothing. 

2. They are adopting their spouse’s or partner’s child as some people in this world are bisexual. However, this is only with the permission of the child with the child having full understanding of what discrimination that will happen to him or her as a half adoptee, and only if the other biological parent of the child is not in the picture, and so long as other safe biological family members of the adoptee on the non-existent biological parent side are in the child’s life. 

3. They have fostered a child who can speak for himself or herself and the child or adolescent can prove their biological family is unsafe and this foster child or foster teen says they want them to adopt him or her with the full knowledge that their original birth certificate will be sealed and their name permanently changed, and whatever other discrimination that might occur such as being denied updated biological family medical information, and so long as any safe biological family members are kept in contact.

In all of these circumstances legal guardianship could also be used, which makes things easier because it doesn’t discriminate. However, if there’s adoption these are the only adoptions I support because the first is keeping all the adoptee needs and deserves or copies of it and keeping the child in the family, and the other two are giving the child or teenager the choice. It may not be a choice you or I agree with, but the important thing here is that it’s an adoptee choosing.

Why do I have these rules for homosexual couples and bisexual couples in a same sex relationship? 

Simple, because these are the exact same rules that I want hetereosexual couples to abide by. It’s time to put adoptees first in adoption. Not hetereosexual couples looking to adopt. Not homosexual couples wanting to adopt. Not bisexual couples in a same sex relationship planning to “expand their family” through adoption, whilst destroying the family of another and taking a baby that never needed to be adopted by them in the first place, or any other adoptive couple out their regardless of their sexuality.

What if it’s an abused baby from a dangerous family? Legal guardianship or kinship care regardless of the baby’s caregiver’s sexuality until that child is old enough to decide for himself or herself with the full knowledge that adoptees lose their heritages (closed adoption), biological family medical information and/or updated (sometimes open, always closed), their original birth certificate in nearly every single state, and their adoption records, and in the past they would also sometimes lose the ability to have a passport and be denied to leave the country just for being adopted.

That, my friends, is equality and even then it’s still not for adoptees. It’s time, oh it’s so, so so damn time to put adoptees first in adoption. I’m sure LGBT adoptees have a lot to say on this.

Why are transgender people ignored in these debates about allowing gay people to adopt when they are members of the LGBT movement even though transgender isn’t a sexuality?

And before anyone asks me, “what about using a surrogate?” Oh hey fucking no. Look up what horrible, revolting, horrific, abyssmal conditions they put surrogate women in Asia in to pop out babies for rich westerners regardless of the couples’ sexuality. It’s pure greed and sociopathy. What about a surrogate that is treated well and is from say, California? Nope. Research the scientific evidence out there about how babies become connected to the women who grow them.

What about people who don’t agree with me? Well, after you have over eighteen years of research done and you happen to also be directly effected by adoption then I’m open to hearing your opinions.

Your Story Matters.

My body has been telling me, or God is telling me, I really need a break from writing about adoption for awhile. Yet, here I am not listening because well, because I don’t know, but here I am writing. My goal here is to get more adoptees to break out of their shells. My goodness we need you, and when you come out of the brainwashing the adoption industry implemented into you you’ll totally get what I mean by we need you.

Your story matters. “But, I tell my stories. I tell about how my birthmother lovingly chose adoption. I tell about how I’m Korean and raised by a loving Irish, German American family and I’m happy with being Irish and German like my family.” No, that isn’t your story. Your story isn’t the thousands of stories told out there that replicate or are similar to this one, which is something I actually read from an adoptee who is so tragically brainwashed by adoption she no longer believes she’s Asian, but White. I do feel somewhat of a bitch for using an actual example, but oh it just has to be shared because there are so many adoptees that need to be unfolded.

Oh adoptees, your story, my story, our stories are not the stories told to us by the adoption agencies. They are not even the stories told to us by our adoptive parents, whether it’s because they are a bunch of lying pieces of shit, or they are like my own adoptive parents; completely lied to by the adoption agencies. Yes, I have great adoptive parents and I usually just refer to them as my mum and dad.

Your story is partly a story of searching. Searching is a huge part of your story. You cannot have your story without searching. Your search will define you even more. Being adopted, for whatever reason, is only part of your story. What you search for is entirely up to you. That is one power you can have as an adoptee when power was taken from you.

Some of you, no wait, too many of you have been telling other people’s stories and these people have psychopathically or unknowingly been making their stories your story. Their story is not your story. You either get that or you’ll get it later if you become awakened.

Your story isn’t what non adopted people have taught you to say about adoption, to feel about adoption, to say and think about your own adoption. Your story is what you perceive adoption to be, your story of what you perceive your own adoption to be, and many of you will vastly change your perception as you learn how much evil is involved in the adoption industry.

It’s time to not care what anyone else thinks or feels. If you need to offend by telling your truth then offend.  Pardon my language, but fuck it. Say what’s on your mind whether it’s I fucking hate my birthday or I wish I could punch an adoption agency employee in the face, just don’t actually punch one in the face cos you’re too pretty and too smart to spend time in prison.  Admit that adoption isn’t all it’s cracked up to be my daughter is very ill and we would really like to have my biological family health information. Tell that idiot wanker to shut it when they ask “what if the birthmother doesn’t want to be found?” which is implicating that us adoptees are responsible for other people’s problems. Stop defending people who either didn’t ask to be defended or don’t deserve to be cos only those with unresolved psychological trauma avoid. Give the finger to that elderly relative who once again says, “I don’t see a single problem with adoption. Be grateful you weren’t aborted” because you really tried to be nice the first eight hundred and sixty two times. Their egos and dirty deeds will be the ones offended. Sometimes, being offensive is a good thing, and this is one of those rare times.

 

 

 

 

Adoption is Better Than Living With Abusive Biological Family, Right?

Well, yes adoption definitely is better than living with abusive biological family even with the discrimination that adoptees endure, even the abusive practices of closed adoption, until…. it’s not.

I previously wrote an article on here about adopted children who are murdered by their adopters. Worse yet, some are raped and murdered. Do you want to puke? Last August, an article of mine was published in a newspaper and circulated to four hundred thousand people. The following week, the news decided to idiotically publish a rebuttal from a woman who doesn’t know shit about adoption’s need for reform with comments like “adoption is love” “how dare you”, not said, but certainly implied, and “my friends adopted”.

Not a single adoption attorney or adoption agency employee has been brought to justice, and deservedly thrown in prison, for putting a child into a home where they were abused, raped, and/or murdered. I’m not going to repeat myself. My solutions to fixing this problem have been published in the article I wrote on this blog last year, along with being published in the newspaper and that comment being put online to my aunt, cousins, virtual friends and friends I have in real life.

I’m sure we all get this question. Why are you against adoption? It can take children out of abusive situations and provide them a loving home. Of course, I’m no idiot. A loving adoptive home is a million times better than an abusive biological home or an abusive foster home. However, even in these circumstances we still don’t need to be advocating for adoption. There is no reason to continue the abusive practice of unnecessarily splitting apart safe biological family members from each other, refusing to give biological family medical information or updated information which yes has killed adoptees, and sealing the original birth certificate. Also, I really don’t want to be supporting a multibillion dollar business that has done fuck all for murdered children, and then gloats at what “amazing work” they have done amongst the agencies who royally messed up. I’m not one for swearing much anymore these days, but yeah I’m a little outrageously irate. It takes a real psychopath to claim the amazing work your agency did and completely say nothing about the fact YOU FUCKING PUT KIDS IN HOMES WHERE THEY WERE MURDERED AND YOUR AGENCY WASN’T PUNISHED FOR IT.

My biological paternal aunt, who I found and she found me when I was thirty two almost two summers ago, was raised as a half adoptee. I hope my aunt doesn’t mind me writing here that she told me her mother, my biological paternal grandmother, was abusive. Understandably, my aunt wishes she had been adopted by some pretty-most of the time- awesome adoptive parents like mine. Of course, without the discrimination and without having to lose the thirty two years we lost together. Of course, my aunt has lost a lot too; five decades without knowing her half siblings existed! All because someone decided to not be honest.

The truth is we cannot assume that an adoptive couple are going to be good parents. I know some great adoptive parents, but I also know some that are just so so and then I have heard testimonies from adoptees, like Sadie Rone and Jung Haveland, who were tortured by their adopters. Just today my mum was watching Dominic Dunne about a man who murdered his wife. He was an adoptive father. Last week, my mum was watching another murder show; my mum should be a homicide detective/professional party planner, and again the adoptive father murdered the wife and the adopted children were raised in domestic violence.

Look, you might be saying these cases are rare. The truth is they are not. Child abuse amongst adoptive families is more common than you think. I wish I had the statistics to give you, but I don’t. Even amongst adoptive parents who aren’t abusive there is often a sort of mental abuse for some adoptees when it comes to strongly being influenced not to search for biological family.

Until we change the system, and I have provided solutions previously in the newspaper article I wrote and the article I wrote on here about how closed adoptions are dangerous, these homicides and torture of adopted children will continue. Even amongst open adoptions they need to become legally enforceable, and as mentioned in my previous writings, there need to be unexpected visits to an adoptee’s home once a year by someone like a police officer, until they are eighteen, and longer if the adoptee is special needs and unable to speak for themselves. Adoptive parents should be open to this because whilst your adopted child is your own child, you’re also raising someone else’s child; even if that biological parent is some neglectful, abusive, nimrod.

We need to release this false image that adoptive couples are all adopting for loving purposes. In fact, most who adopt infants adopt for selfish reasons. There’s a difference between adopting in the 1980s, or so, back in the day when the information wasn’t readily available like today on the internet when people adopted for infertility reasons without learning what was really occurring. Now, people adopting infants for infertility reasons are selfish, yes they are selfish, and have no reason to with the education out there provided to them, which they egotistically reply with, “well, I’m going to do it anyway.” 

Aside from self-centredness, we need to forego this idea that all children are adopted by great and loving families because it simply isn’t true. Adoption is not a guarantee of a better life. In fact, in some cases it can result in death through being murdered or through the high rate of suicide amongst adoptees.

We often also think of foster children who are adopted as being rescued. Well, at least I used to. Too often, just like in infant adoptions, there was a biological family member that could have raised them. CPS doesn’t want a biological family member to raise them in some circumstances because they would lose money. It really depends on whether or not CPS within that jurisdiction is moral. You get both good and bad social workers in CPS. I know one who is fantastic and really, really, really tries to keep the children with their parent(s) first and foremost, and then with family. She has seen the upheaval these children go through when they bounce back and forth between a foster home and their mother’s home depending on whether not the mother is doing drugs. Yet one needs to ask themselves why are safe and capable biological family members being told they’re too old to take legal guardianship or do kinship care or do infamily adoption to keep the child in the family, which is great to not lose your biological family medical information (so long as there’s honesty), yet strangers are allowed to adopt these children who are older than the biological family member?

The little boy in this picture is an adoptee who, like many children, never needed to be adopted. If only the police officer in this photo had known why the boy was crying. He, and his siblings who were adopted by two White lesbians (and yes, I think describing them matters as I explained in a previous article I wrote earlier this year), along with other children (who were biracial) who were starved and then murdered by these psychopaths. This innocent child and his siblings had an aunt, I believe in Texas, who was raising them. She was doing a fine job parenting. CPS decided she wasn’t good enough to parent and legally sold, as that is what adoption is, this boy and his siblings, and other children, to these adopters who legally bought these children to starve them and then murder them all whilst hiding behind a veil of racial harmony and hippy love. Had CPS not been corrupt, had CPS not been messed up this young boy and the other children would be alive. If CPS and the infant adoption industry weren’t so outrageously unethical so many children today would be alive. So many adult adoptees would not have committed suicide.

So, is adoption better than living with an abusive biological family? You decide. As you know now, it’s a lot more complex than they make it out to be.

 

Family Preservation in Buffalo, NY.

There are a few family preservation organisations here in the Buffalo, New York area serving primarily inner city residents. Of course, I do wish there were more opportunities for those outside of the city. Nevertheless, I am proud and excited to see yet another family preservation programme helping vulnerable Buffalo families. This is an astounding improvement from the terrible era of when Catholic Charities of Buffalo found every excuse in the book to take away a mother’s, or widowed father’s baby, and give those adoptees lifelong discrimination. I hate Catholic Charities with every fibre of my being and the “good” that they do for some can never replace the atrocities they have committed when it comes to tearing apart families and lifelong discrimination of adoptees.  Of course, they aren’t the only culprits. Now, to only see Adoption Star vanish.

Buffalonians are learning. They are learning the benefits of keeping families together and helping families. We are progressing here in Buffalo, New York and no longer allowing family shame to be the reason to lose babies to adoption. We are no longer looking the other way and claiming it’s not for us to get involved when cases of domestic violence occur. We are breaking the cycle of single motherhood.

Who is at the forefront of this change? Let’s take a look at some of them.

Mother Teresa Home- this Catholic run home for pregnant mothers and mothers of children until the age of three is located on Buffalo’s very rough east side. Formerly, a Polish and German area this area now serves to help primarily Black American mothers and their children, although mothers of all ethnicities live on the east side and come to Mother Teresa Home. Opened in August 2016, the Mother Teresa Home is run by Catholic nuns of the Buffalo diocese.  Here, adoption is not offered on the table.

Unfortunately, adoption is still offered at St. Gianna Pregnancy Outreach Center where the myth that adoption will save babies from abortion is believed. I just wrote them to tell them that adoption causes trauma to mother and child, separation with the biological family, and lifelong discrimination for adoptees and to please promote legal guardianship. Other activists can do their part in asking them to promote legal guardianship when family preservation is just impossible.

The Mother Teresa Home provides spiritual counselling, financial counselling, free daycare, parenting support, parenting courses, mental health counselling, domestic skills, finacial planning and financial skills, parental involvement when your child is school age, vocational training, a place for mothers and their babies to live for the first few years, finishing high school or obtaining a GED, assistance in landing an interview, and more.

The Mother Teresa Home is opened only to pregnant mothers and mothers of babies ages newborn to age three who have been evicted from their homes for getting pregnant or are for any other reason homeless. Ages 16 to 26 are welcome to stay for 18 months.

Buffalo Prenatal-Perinatal Network- Also serving in primarily Buffalo’s urban communities on the west side and east side of Buffalo, Buffalo Prenatal-Perinatal Network offers various programmes to keep families together. 80% of the mothers they serve are women of colour, as the east side is predominately Black American and the west side is predominately Latina American with a growing Southeast Asian immigration population, along with a small percentage of European American families still residing on what used to be a very Italian neighbourhood. They also service south Buffalo, a very Irish American community, Cheektowaga which is a predominately Black American and Polish American town, Lackawanna which is primarily a Muslim and Black American community, and parts of Tonawanda which is a very racially and economically diverse area, and parts of Hamburg which is a very economically diverse European American town. One great thing about the programme is that they remember the importance of fathers. Often fathers want to be involved, but are not shown how or are purposely neglected. The Responsible Fathers Initiative is their 13 week programme that teaches fathers, including young teenage fathers, parenting skills, discipline, being a nurturing father, earning a degree, and job training programmes in order to support their children. Basically, it teaches them how to be a man and a dad. Healthy Families NY teaches child abuse prevention, parenting, healthy choices for families, child development, and self sufficiency. The Community Health Worker Program helps mothers from the tender age of 14 to the age of 44 prevent future teenage pregnancies, prevent premature births, provide postpartum assistance, obtain health insurance, get food and clothing, provide immense support, and a place to live for moms and their children. They have been successfully helping low income families for five years. Of the 2,658 Buffalo and Buffalo suburban families they have assisted, half of the pregnancies of pregnant mothers they’ve cared for have had preterm or low birth rate babies, child abuse has decreased immensely, almost 100% of the babies have their immunisations, and CPS calls are rare. The organisation does well to remember that most of the young parents and low income parents they are assisting come from horrible childhoods themselves, or have escaped from domestic violence. In fact, all mothers in the programme are screened for drug abuse, depression, and domestic violence. Support is given to these women, without their babies and children being automatically given away to adoption.