Adoptee Suicide. How Police Can Help Save Lives.

Often I am told by completely ignorant people “sorry your adoption story is so bad (without actually knowing my story mind you) but you can’t speak for all adoptees” or “you’re just bitter, I’m adopted and I’m happy.” Sure, if you were adopted as an older child or as a teen from an abusive home you probably would be happy. That’s not the type of adoptions I’m talking about, and even then the older child adoptions out of foster care don’t always work out the way they should.

The truth of the matter is that yes, I can speak for other adoptees. That isn’t being cocky, that’s being confident and my New York attitude of “watch me”. I speak for those adoptees who were raped, beaten, and/or murdered by their adoptive parents. I speak for those adoptees who are being resold (25,000 adopted kids in the US are resold every year, sometimes on the black market and oh yes politicians have resold their adopted kids. See my article way below. Reuters did the study). I speak for those adoptees who can no longer speak because they committed suicide. I also speak for adoptees who are so blatantly ignorant who never stop and think the fact us seven million closed adoptees are denied biological medical information (among many discriminations) and that can affect not only us but our children and grandchildren.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics in their September and  October 2013 issues, adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide than people who aren’t adopted. Four times more likely to kill themselves and we represent only approximately 4% of the US population. Yet, the buck doesn’t stop there. Studies out of Sweden showed adopted people (children and adults) are also at increased risk for suicide.

Adopted teenagers coming from great homes also represent a significantly higher number of teens who find themselves in trouble with drugs and alcohol. According to the Wellness Resource Center in Boca Raton, Florida adopted teens represent only about 2% of the teenage population in Florida, but a sizeable percentage at the recovery centre.

So, you might be thinking. Aren’t these drug addicted and/or suicidal teenagers and adult adoptees adopted from bad homes? Weren’t their first mother drug addicts? You might be surprised to learn those aren’t the type of adoptees in the case studies. These are only two case studies done. There are more. All point to the same thing….four times more likely to off oneself if he or she is adopted. No, these are adoptees who were adopted as newborns or as infants. Adoptees raised in decent homes.

So, why the high suicide rate? I couldn’t say there is one underlying factor, but several:

  1. Detachment- We are detached from our mothers on the day we are born. It’s completely unnatural. Infants know the sounds, smell, touch, and voice of their mothers and you whisk them away a few hours or immediately after birth. Watch newborns with their adoptive mother. They damn well know she isn’t their biological mother.
  2. Society paints adoption as perfect and then when us adoptees try to mention the discriminating or horrible things that go on we are told to shut up and be grateful we weren’t aborted. Reselling kids, the fact we have more laws in place to buy and sell a home than adopt a baby or child, the fact closed adoptees were denied our heritage up until ancestry DNA testing came along (want to know how degrading it was to have people ask me, “what’s your heritage?” and have to reply, “I don’t know. I’m not allowed. I’m adopted), the fact some of us-like myself- deal with the horrible shit of being treated as the dirty secret of our family. The fact in some states pregnant adopted women aren’t allowed genetic testing to know if their baby will be healthy, the fact men are denied so many rights. In 14 states (Arizona, Maryland, North Dakota to name a few) men convicted of rape can have visitation rights and partial custody to their rape conceived children- which forces many women into abortion or adoption and neither industry says a word about it- yet in Virginia and Utah babies can be adopted out behind the backs of law abiding, job working babies’ fathers. We are told to be ashamed of ourselves if we are rape conceived. Adoption is also a cultural genocide. A fourteen year old in Rochester, NY recently committed suicide. She was completely ripped from her homeland and language and the shock was too much for her. Adoption is making family strangers and strangers family. It’s a game of pretend that babies and children are forced to play. The list goes on and on.
  3. I will tell you in my study of researching serial killers online (I was settling a dispute, I’d rather not research such a dark topic) 92 American or Canadian serial killers were adopted and/or abandoned by a biological parent. 92. And to the adoptee, adoption feels at a subconscious level no different than abandonment. This is why I still freak out if my adoptive parents don’t return my calls or we are at the store and I lose them in an aisle whereas most adults only worry if it’s been a long time.
  4. The mere stress of trying to look for biological family, especially before DNA testing and mirror trees came along (and mirror trees are hard to do, which are backward family trees) people spent 10, 20, even more like 40+ years trying to find family. You walk around looking for people who look like you, and because closed adoptees aren’t allowed information that can actually be of use many actually end up having sex with their own relatives. I know a case of a brother and sister who slept together not knowing one was adopted out of the family, they went to high school together by chance. That was in Rochester, NY and the boy I’m sorry to say killed himself. Currently, a pair of twins separated at birth were married and sleeping together and learned they are twins. Talk about needing therapy! Separating twins? Oh yes, adoption agencies were doing that here in NY even as recently as 1991 because they make more money through separate adoptions.

So, between the lack of medical knowledge, biological and/or adoptive family treating you like shit. To put it in my police chief’s words “their behavior is shameful” when referring to how my biological family treats me. The discrimination adoptees face and then being told “we should consider ourselves lucky” are just some of the reasons why adoptee suicide rates are so high.

5. I almost forgot nearly every single adopted person suffers anxiety and/or depression. I suffered depression as a child and as an adult I suffer severe anxiety, and yes I’ve tried everything. Am I suicidal? No. Do I have thoughts of suicide? No. As a child, yes I was suicidal and I used to hold on and say “one day I’ll meet my biological family” as I was left with a letter asking to be found. What I found were people who are cold hearted to me. I think my nineteen years of martial arts it’s just made me an incredibly strong person, more mentally than anything even though my anxiety is off the charts bad and I’m frustrated that therapy, neurofeedback, hypnosis, and medication hasn’t really helped more than a smidgen,but yes being a high level martial artists changes your perspectives on everything. But, anxiety is just going to be the daily life of an adoptee because of the fact we are separated from family and everything I listed up above.

This doesn’t mean adoptees don’t stop and consider the things they are grateful for. I say “have an attitude of gratitude” but at the same time be realistic.

So, I wrote this article having police officers in mind. Before my brain became so riddled with severe anxiety I used to do ride alongs as a teenager. I considered becoming a police officer. No way could I now. Anxiety has left it very hard for me to work, but I do enjoy working and wish I could far more often than I do. I always say if I ever become filthy rich I will pay police stations to help solve cold case crimes. There are so many cold case homicides that have not been solved yet because they cost a fortune to solve. I can dream, right?

Police are often the first on the scene when a person is suicidal. Whether it’s a person about to jump off of a bridge or a building, a gun to the head, or any other terrible ordeal it’s police that put their lives on the lines. I’m not a police officer. I would never have the audacity to tell a police officer what to do.

But maybe, just maybe this article will help them in saving lives. Maybe asking the person if they are adopted will help to save lives. If they are adopted during a distress call, let them know there’s help out there. There are books like Primal Wound and a book called Adoption Healing by Joe Soll who runs free chats online for adoptees.

Just whatever you do when you deal with a teenager who is suicidal and is clearly adopted, please never say their biological parents must have loved them dearly they decided to give them a better life. That may not be true.

I hope this helps. I hope this wakes more people up. I hope this saves more lives. I hope this makes the unbelievably difficult jobs of police officers just that much easier.

Our society needs to stop seeing adoption as normal. We need to be using it only for children from abusive homes whose entire families are on drugs, beating them, etc. We need to stop letting people pay $38,000 to adopt a baby from a teenager instead of giving that teenager the money to help her out and put her in parenting and job skill courses.

And to the police officers reading this. Thank you for all you do. I hope this makes your unbelievably difficult jobs just a little bit easier.

(I tried to post links but they did not work. I can strongly recommend Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier, September 9, 2013 article by medscape by Laidman, and the medical article I mentioned above for proof.)

 

 

 

 

Adoption Is a Band-Aid/Plaster Solution for the World’s Woes.

No, I’m not attacking adoptive parents in this article. I’m not saying you did anything wrong for adopting a child from another country as this article is particularly looking at adoptions from developing countries. I’m not pointing the finger at adoptive parents who love their children who decided to fly half way around the world to give, what they consider to be, a better life for a child. I am pointing the finger at the adoption empire who has basically sold you ocean front property in Arizona in telling you lies like “these children are orphans” (Most orphans are not orphans. I wrote an article about this on this website) and “adoption is the answer to saving these kids.”

Here’s the thing. Let’s look at issues from a few different countries. I already discussed this when it comes to China in my article titled Why Are We Still Doing Business With China? Adoption is a plaster/band-aid solution to the world’s woes. Since I discussed China in a previous article let’s study other countries as examples.

BULGARIA- Bulgaria is just one of many countries where special needs children and special needs people are mocked, treated unfairly, and are stigmatised along with their parents. This may have changed in the last few years since I checked, and I hope it has, but quite often first mothers give away their babies or children for adoption in Bulgaria to wealthier western European couples and to North American couples not because they don’t love their children, but because they know the extreme stigma they will face in Bulgarian society. Ask yourself then why is the adoption empire (that makes $12 billion annually alone in the United States) not advocating for grassroots organizations to be formed to change the mentality of Bulgaria? Yes, I am well aware that this isn’t going to change overnight and that in the meantime special needs babies and children will need homes, but is international adoption truly the only way or the best way during this transition? Wouldn’t it be better to create a program where Bulgarian mother and baby, or even Bulgarian mother, father, and special needs baby remain together and are supported by programmes (please note I use British English for this universally read blog, although I am American) such as the Peace Corps? If you’re willing to help the Bulgarian child shouldn’t you be willing to help the Bulgarian parents? Instead of adopting, why don’t you try to get them landed immigrant status in Canada or Britain or wherever you happen to live?  Give them the cash to pay for landed immigrant status which would be cheaper than adopting their baby or child and leaving them grieving for life.

INDIA- I really love Indian food and Indian culture. Yes, I am very proud of my own heritage, especially since I had to fight for over twenty-five years and a good amount of moola to obtain it, but I really like Indian cuisine, cultures, etc. My father was a head manager of a corporation and when I was young he would be off in sweltering India doing business. Come to think of it I haven’t had Indian food in at least two years. That needs to be remedied! Putting aside my dreams of chana masala for a moment, India still has a problem with equality for girls and women particularly amongst rural tribal regions. Whilst Harvard has seen gains in girl’s educational equality in India, the fact remains that sex selected abortions (unborn baby killing) are still occurring in India, and still creating far more boys than girls. Sexual assault is still an enormous problem in India, along with female infanticide, and acid burning amongst India’s Muslims.

Often these girls end up in India’s orphanages, and often boys and girls in India’s orphanages have mothers who are in prison (they can stay with their mothers in prison until age five) or who are hookers. Ask yourself again is adoption truly the best solution here? Is adoption going to change the underlying gaping wound that is infecting Indian society?

India is full of billionaires and multimillionaires. India is also full of professional women who are doctors, interior designers, pharmacists, teachers, etc. India does have an extreme poverty problem, but like all developing countries it has a sizeable amount of middle class, upper middle class, and wealthy couples. In a nation of one billion, is it really necessary for people from America to be adopting from India? You’re telling me you can’t find one family to take in these children amongst the millions of middle and upper class families in India if, and only if, these children truly have no parents to care for them or their parents are completely inept? India has grassroots organizations in place to better the lives of girls, of the rural poor, and to end the killing of unborn baby girls. If you have $38,000 to adopt a child from India why not use that money instead towards one of these programmes? Use your $38,000 to help lift women working as prostitutes out of poverty so they can gain back their dignity whilst helping their children, especially their daughters so the cycle isn’t repeated. Your money will go a lot further, and instead of helping one child, you’ll be helping hundreds. In fact, removing a child from their language and culture may not be the best thing, and I will soon be devoting an article to cultural genocide of adoptees.

Grassroots efforts are where it’s at. I know some of you may be thinking, I threw a sand dollar back into the ocean and someone said, “there’s a million on the beach, what difference does it make?” The reply, “it made a difference to that one.” Yes, it did. I have no doubt it made a difference to the child you adopted. Still, the fact remains, that adoption is a tiny drop in the bucket, that it is a plaster/band-aid solution, and that it will not change what a country needs to fix (and that definitely includes Canada and here in the States).

Adoption is never going to change a society’s underlying problems. That change needs to come from within, through supporting grassroots programmes, whether it’s valuing girls in China and India, valuing rape conceived people in the United States and Ethiopia, or valuing special needs people in Bulgaria, Guatemala, Ethiopia, Kenya, or Bangladesh.

So what if you have already adopted from overseas? Remember what I said at the beginning. I am not judging you. I am asking that you do all you can to make your child’s original country a better place to live. It is, after all,  his homeland.

If you are adopting from overseas absolutely do your homework. Is this child truly an orphan? Have they lost both parents? Do they have extended family that can care for them? You’ll need to do your homework on your own and not trust adoption workers (see Journeyman Pictures Adoption Agencies Are Separating African Children From Their Parents on youtube).

 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2016/jun/22/10-activists-changing-lives-disabled-people-around-world

 

India sees gains from gender quota

 

http://archive.indianexpress.com/news/sexselection-abortions-cause-of-missing-girls-in-india/1168185/

We Are All Adopted by God, but Not Everyone Is An Adoptee.

I wrote previously two articles one discussing how God has nothing to do with infant adoption (of non-abused babies) and how Jesus’ life is not a comparison to modern adoption, and neither was Moses’. The problem is people think they know the Torah, or they think they know the Bible, and they don’t and when I say people I am actually referring more often to Jews and Christians.

We live in a society that is very much brainwashed by the adoption empire. The Devil always tries to make himself look good, and his evil deeds are in all types of places. While that may sound crazy to you, that adoption could be affliated with the Devil, the adoption empire is a multibillion dollar, uncredentialed, loosely regulated empire and the horrible myth of birthparent privacy and the discriminating act of sealing adoption records and sealing original birth certificates was all started by a psychopath named Georgia Tann, so yes the Devil has a hand in the adoption empire.

So how are people brainwashed? First, it’s important to know I am not judging people for being brainwashed. I am judging people who have the truth given to them and still refuse to learn; still refuse the knowledge. There are many topics we are all brainwashed by. We learn and unlearn and relearn.

I often educate people about the facts about adoption. The facts the adoption empire doesn’t want you to know. I recommend them books, blogs, medical research, and more. I often never get a response from them but from their egos. The problem with most people is that they are ego driven.

Quite often a response I get back after I say something like “let’s move from sealing original birth certificates” to “let’s give adoptive parents a certificate of adoption instead” or “adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide” or “you don’t get to have an opinion on adoption if you are not adopted” and a million other quotes, quite often the response I get from people’s egos is:

Well, we are all adopted by God.

Yes, we are. We are all adopted by God. Even atheists are adopted by God. Yet, this doesn’t make you an adoptee.

*Being adopted by God does not seal your original birth certificate.

*Being adopted by God does not separate you from your brothers and sisters.

*Being adopted by God does not seal your adoption records.

*Being adopted by God does not deny you your first family medical information, including in life or death situations of you or your children.

*Being adopted by God does not deny you genetic research to find out if you’ll have a child with say cystic fibrosis like adoptees are denied in some states.

*Being adopted by God does not quadruple your chance of killing yourself.

*Being adopted by God does not extremely greatly increase your chance of anxiety and depression which nearly all adoptees have.

*Being adopted by God does not deny you to know your heritage like adoptees were before ancestry DNA testing.

“Christian” led adoption agencies will try this on expectant mothers in a crisis. These “Christian” harlatans will say that “we are all adopted by God” and try to justify that and try to compare it to being an adoptee raised in an adoptive family. It’s not the same.

(Research for this has been provided in previous articles or will be in future articles).

 

Surviving a Sociopath. How Societies Need to Stop Thinking a Rich/Older Parent is Better Than a Young/Poor Parent.

Having worked with children from every cultural, racial, geographical, and economic background possible from the billionaire level to homeless, and their parents, I’m more than well aware that there are good parents and bad parents of every economic background and age bracket. I’m also aware we live in a society (American, British, Australian, even Chinese today, etc) that makes excuses like “wait until you have kids” and “don’t judge parents you don’t live in their house” when I say the word “bad parents”. In these cases I truly mean bad. Parents who have pimped out their eleven year old to support their heroin habit. Parents who let their children run around screaming in a restaurant, tossing plates, and climbing under other people’s tables. You don’t need to have children in order to know these examples show atrocious parenting, with obviously the first example being a million times worse. I could tell you nightmares of case files I have had to go over, but I cannot actually get into specifics. Cases that would make you fully support the death penalty for people who murder a child, and a strong agreement that anyone who rapes a child should get the death penalty provided DNA evidence is used (I’d be all for the death penalty if we actually had DNA evidence in cases, but alas over 50% of men on death row have never had DNA evidence in their cases and still nobody has paid the money to get their DNA tested. I’d be all for the death penalty if Alabama would stop allowing judges to say guilty when an entire jury of their peers votes not guilty because it has murdered too many poor, White men through false accusations and saved just a few).

So you see, regardless of where you live there are good parents and bad parents of every age bracket and every economic bracket and with my experience I have seen more lousy parenting from the upper class. Now, I’m not painting a wide brush saying all upper class parents are lousy. Certainly not doing that! However, what I am saying is whilst we constantly have this “but parents in inner city schools (poor public/government run schools) don’t even show up” honestly that is a lot better than what is dealt with in upper class school districts. Want to know some issues? Well, here we go. A student who tried to kill the school psychologist via suffocation and his father lawyer saying he did it because of his ADHD. Last time I checked, ADHD does not cause extremely violent behaviour. Or how about a well heeled couple who adopted a girl from central America who kicked her out of the house for being raped (because oh yes we take “such good care in finding good, forever homes” *cough, sarcasm, cough*). Would you like to hear about how in one wealthy school district the best mathematics teacher that school ever had was fired because he gave a C+ to a student whose parents demanded he deserved an A, yet that student was not doing his homework and didn’t show up for all of his classes and had no valid reasoning. I cannot even begin to tell you the number of upper class parents I have dealt with who make excuse after excuse after excuse for their child’s absolutely horrible behavior and/or extreme rudeness (like telling a lunch lady she should have done something better with her life so she wouldn’t have “this stupid job”) or sticking their heads’ in the sand refusing to believe their son or daughter has a problem with drugs and/or alcohol. Denial is extremely annoying to me.

This isn’t to say there aren’t good upper class parents or bad poor parents. When working with low income children it can be very hard to get through to them as often, according to what they say and from actually seeing it, they are often disciplined through screaming or being hit. Again, this does not describe every individual household, but I’m not a politically correct person so I say what I have seen.

So, let’s get to story behind the title. You’ll see at the end how this is tied into adoption.

I absolutely loved living in Canada’s most beautiful town. I lived there from 1999 to 2010 minus one year when I did a gap year in Europe. Yes, I’m American but this was my home during some weekends, summers, and holidays. I had a darling friend when living there who has not a single mean bone in her body, but her sister was a much different story.

Everything seemed very well. Then one night her Mum, who I had been close to, asked me to stay over at their house to watch the cats and my Mum and her Mum took so and so (who I am convinced is a sociopath) to hospital for reasons I will not explain. The next morning, a hot morning I can remember, I went to check on her. She gave me a hug, was crying, and told me everything which I will not share. I offered my help, and she accepted it. Later we swam in their pool.

Two weeks later everything changed and a nightmare eight years long commenced. Between that hot August day, which will be eight years in two days come to think of it, and a fortnight later I had had absolutely no contact with her or any member of that family although I was still in Canada I was doing other things and communicating with other people. Two weeks later, she absolutely hated me. She refused to talk to me, would throw extreme tantrums (and did as recently as late 2014), falsely accuse me of things (and did so as recently as 2014), say she wants nothing to do with me, etc. Yet in those two weeks, and afterward I did not accuse her of anything.

I did mention to her Mum what she had told me and her Mum became extremely defensive getting in my face and saying “she goes to me for help, not you!” The Mum’s behaviour became belligerent, very much like that of an unruly teenager according to my Mum. I wasn’t stepping on toes. She confided in me and she was just a few months shy from being an adult. The Mum even asked me for any advice on this particular health problem.

Anytime I tried to speak with her for years after, to try and clear the air and figure out where the miscommunication went wrong I was blocked by the parents, and the parents started to accuse me of things I never did nor intended towards their daughter. I flat out called them bad parents and even to this day my parents, who are still friends with them and either are in refusal of what happened or are too blind to realize that it’s the young person (me) and not the rich, elderly adults who are right or, I’m sorry to say, just too plain dumb to examine what really happened, say I was in the wrong to call them bad parents. I definitely was not. A good parent would have both sides sit down for a mature chat and clear the air to figure out where the miscommunication occurred. A good parent would apologize for getting so defensive, even if it was years ago because I find it extremely odd that their daughter got along with me and then a fortnight later suddenly hates me forever.

I put up with a huge amount of crap from this daughter. The accusations, the explosiveness, the snobbiness, the suddenly being nice and learning she was manipulating me, and more. I’m the type of person where I can only take so much and I will give you a dose of your medicine. So, of course, when she did something wrong they made excuses. When I, for example after dealing with one of her behaviours for nine long months, exploded her parents demanded I apologize. I even tried to be nice and congratulate her on something she was proud to achieve only to be basically told to go f*** myself and making more false accusations about me in another of her extreme wobblies. I told her employer, who didn’t care to look at facts, and her parents were pissed. The “my child can do no wrong”. If there’s one type of parents I cannot stand it’s those who will make excuses for their child but then expect everyone to treat their child like glass.

This is how a sociopath behaves. They purposely push your buttons. It’s a game to them. They manipulate you and charm you so you think things are improving and then will whack you emotionally out of nowhere will an extreme change in behaviour and/or with false accusations. They make accusations about you, they tell you incredibly hurtful things, etc and then they turn around and pretend they are the victim and make you look like the bad guy. This is what I dealt with. This is what a sociopath does. To them, it is a game and it’s very hard to learn you are playing their game, so I hope this helps others to understand to a sociopath or psychopath it is only a game. On the outside they look like such a kind, charming person. On the inside they target specific people and they love to toy with you. They have no remorse. If they did have remorse they would come forward and claim where they went wrong and want to solve the issues. Sociopaths will never come forward because in their mind they simply don’t care. They know what they are doing is wrong, but they simply do not care.

Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by:

Requires a medical diagnosis
Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively, and lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. Symptoms may lessen with age.
People may experience:
Behavioral: antisocial behavior, deceitfulness, hostility, irresponsibility, manipulativeness, risk taking behaviors, aggression, impulsivity, irritability, or lack of restraint
Mood: anger, boredom, or general discontent
Also common: physical substance dependence or substance abuse
I look at this and know while I cannot say yes to every single thing on this list I can say yes to nearly all of it, and so I know I survived a sociopath.
One thing they forget to mention in this list is that sociopaths are very intelligent (usually) and she is very gifted. When I tried telling her Mum, in a kind way trying to show some love to her daughter who treated me like shit for years, that she is very intelligent her Mum even became defensive over that, and here I was giving a compliment to someone who has had no remorse, no empathy, made false accusations, and then got mad when I let her have a taste of her own medicine after trying to be nice or ignore her for years.
This went on and off, on and off, on and off from 2009 to 2014. I tried again to develop a friendship with the parents because her sister was a best friend to me (and in my heart will always be a best friend) but it just couldn’t work.
Anti social personality disorder is not uncommon. 1 in 25 Americans can be labeled a sociopath or psychopath according to Dr. Martha Stout. Although this woman I dealt with is not American, I can imagine for Brits (as they are actually British) the statistics are probably 1 in 25 (just tried to do a quick research and did not find the number. Yes, I still need to do research for the China article from yesterday).
You will never win with a psychopath or sociopath so don’t even try. If their parents are too blind or too much in denial, or you’re dealing with just a pain in the ass person who isn’t a psychopath, their parents might just be too blind or too much in denial. Denial is one of the most detrimental, stupid, unhelpful emotions a human can display. Don’t try to be nice to them. They will find a way to fault you for your kindness. Don’t try to get back at them (ie telling their employer their abominable behaviour) not because they don’t deserve it (they certainly do) but because when a person has no remorse and no empathy any form of punishment means nothing to them (except maybe the death penalty or life in prison) and because they are very intelligent and highly charming they will find a way to have others think they are the victim and you are just some jealous maniac. Remember the sociopath is playing a game with you, and they will keep trying to pull you back in. The key to winning is to know they are trying to pull you back in. This is no different than the abusive spouse who keeps saying sorry and then continues to beat his or her spouse. Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me.
I’m going to recommend for you a book that completely opened my eyes to help me realise I was dealing with a sociopath. It’s called The Sociopath Next Door and was written by Dr. Marth Stout of Havard Medical School. This is a book every single person who can read the English language should read. It’ll help you know the signs of anti social personality disorder, how to handle such a person, how to get out of a sticky situation, and occupations they frequent in.
Another person you want to look into is Dr. Kevin Dutton of Oxford University who has created the psychopath list (okay, it’s more scientifically named) and I’ll have you know a Brit only needs 25 yeses to be listed as a sociopath/psychopath and can be labeled one as young as 16 years old whereas an American has to make 30 yeses and can’t be labeled as one until 18.
As for bad parents? Well, these opulent, older parents were dropping off their little sociopath when she was a teenager to parties where there was sex with adults, drugs, and drinking, and were basically rewriting her homework.
So, here is how we tie this into adoption. We go back to what was said in the beginning of this article. We need to stop thinking that a young parent, even a teenage parent, or a poor parent is going to be a worse parent than one who is rich and/or one who didn’t have their firstborn until their late thirties or forties. I know a plethora of teenage parents who did incredibly well and have a family friend out in San Diego who was raised by a single father. His father became a dad at seventeen years old and ended up becoming a surgeon! So, please stop thinking that a junior in high school can never make it if he or she has a baby. I have a friend who is in his early thirties and had his first child at sixteen years old. He is an incredible father, finished high school, and has a career that pays well enough to support himself and his now five children.
The multibillion dollar adoption empire, that is less regulated than the real estate industry and has no oversight, has brainwashed us (Americans, Brits, Canadians, Spaniards, etc) with this false notion that if parents have more money than the child will be better off. I grew up in a well off area and can tell you without a doubt the most grumpy, miserable people I have met have been those who are loaded. I’ve also met very cheerful, extremely rich people as well. The point is being opulent does not guarantee happiness. The adoption empire has painted this idea that materialism is the key to happiness.
The multibillion dollar adoption empire has made nearly everyone false believe that if someone has a baby when they are older they will, therefore, be a better parent due to life experiences. The fact of the matter is, it certainly isn’t like that. Any teacher can tell you that because they can tell you they have dealt with amazing parents who say had Billy when they were just nineteen and they have dealt with parents where they mark on the calendar how many days until little Annabelle will be out of their class because her sixty year old parents are the rudest people who should have never been able to reproduce because they have caused nothing but constant grief for Ms. Appleblossom the  fifth grade teacher everyone else seems to love.
Sociopaths without a single doubt work in the adoption industry and adopt infants from the adoption industry and the sealing of original birth certificates and the myth of birthparent privacy was started by a psychopath named Georgia Tann. Their charm and manipulation get girls and women to give away their babies (subtle force or brute force) and their charm gets them babies (ie Joan Crawford, actress, adopter and psychopath). No, not every adoption agency worker is a sociopath but they sure are rife in the industry. I’m also aware how many pro-life people blindly go to work in the business not being aware that adoption is not the answer to abortion not even for rape conceived babies (another article for another night) and they think they are doing something good. Manipulation -often subtle, pretending to be your friend or concerned about you, cuts contact with you after they get what they want, tells you half truths, pressures you via guilt tripping, oh yes there are plenty of sociopaths who work in the adoption field.
There’s another side to this to. That is adoptive parents and/or adoption agencies can paint a false picture of the first parents or members of the biological family. They might say comments like “they loved you very much”. Be prepared that this might not be the case. My own biological family (99%) are horrible to me, not because I have done anything wrong but because I exist. I am seen as this horrific person because I told people in the family I exist. My sisters are being duped into thinking asking someone to be your dirty secret is normal and/or acceptable behaviour and, at least one, has the incapability to put herself in my shoes and show empathy towards me (although she is not a psychopath, she is just extremely uninformed and lacks the understanding to know the difference between loyalty and succumbence as do all of my half siblings old enough to know about me). You could end up finding a first mother who you were told “loved you very much” who instead gives a very cold, unhappy response when being found, and who gives you the cold shoulder for telling others you exist, members of your own family (and I put up with so much of that crap until I outed my own blood family to some of their friends. Treat me like shit and I will let people know the real you).
When you search you never know what you are going to find. You might find a psychopath. You might find someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
“Narcissistic personality disorder is found more commonly in men. The cause is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others’ feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.
The disorder needs to be diagnosed by a professional. Treatment involves talk therapy.”
Remember 1 in 25 Americans is a psychopath. They come from every background. You need to keep this in mind when you search. The stories you heard may not be true. The person you thought was wonderful might be a psychopath or a narcissist or just a coldhearted twatwaffle who wants to make you look like the bad guy. The person you were told is rude, unsympathetic, even dangerous might actually be a wonderful person.
I wish I wasn’t told these fabrications that my biological family “loved me very much” or that they were “too poor to care for me”. Both are incredibly false. Are they psychopaths? No. Do I think they are good, kind people? No, and that’s very hard for me to admit to and to even agree with, but good, kind people don’t pretend others don’t exist and then paint them as the bad guy for telling others they exist. They are family members who are in incredible need of therapy, and their so called “friends” who are adoption agency workers need to fuck right off (sorry to the nuns who read my blog for its strong language at times).  Sorry but when it comes down to nuns and police being appalled by their behaviour towards me, and said behaviour doesn’t change you see why I tell you be prepared for anything and be prepared to find out what you were told were lies. See people who are nasty to others, like how my biological family is to me, can change if they are willing to get therapy. Sadly a close biological cousin told me they won’t. Psychopaths cannot change; at least not in this day and age (hopefully some day with better medical technology). I do ask in the miracle they (or even one) becomes nice to me that we forgive and forget, and I do thank one in particular for reaching out and at least trying until said family member was thrown back into submission as they have yet to learn the difference between loyalty and succumbence, and to show empathy for a family member they just found out about. I’m being painted as the bad guy by my first mother when the only bad guys here are the ones who didn’t support her back when I was born so she could keep me.
Be prepared because at some point in your life you will deal with a psychopath and they could come from anywhere. Be prepared in your search that you might discover a biological relative who is a psychopath or learn that the people who adopted your child are psychopaths. Be prepared for difficult people even if they are not psychopaths.

Why Are We Still Doing Business With China?

I have wonderful, affectionate neighbors from China. This has nothing to do with being against the deeply, intricate Chinese culture or using generalizations on the Chinese people. People are one thing, and governments are another.

I strongly believe in putting your own country first. I believe, as an American in looking to buy American products first even if I have to pay a little more and if I can’t find that to then look for Canadian products. I also believe that a country should give first dibs on employment to people born there, with veterans who have seen combat getting to be first.

China does not have the standards of quality that other nations have such as Australia, Canada, the United States, Great Britain, Germany, and Belgium to name a few. For example, when it comes to farming in China, according to a Canadian farmer, Chinese farmers grow vegetables in sewer water. The vast majority of Chinese people are good people, and they deserve a lot better. The Chinese government is extremely corrupt and cuts corners, and refuses to allow miners’ deaths to be published (China has no safety standards for miners and many other workers). They shipped drywall to Florida which would never pass safety standards if manufactured in the United States which caused massive nosebleeds in a community that used the drywall to build homes. We allow food, medicine, and products to come in from China that would never pass safety standards under Canadian or American laws. The United States in 2007 shipped out 97% worth of raw materials to China and received only 3% of that back. (I can look for references on this later on so the article is more reliable).

We allow food, medicine, and products to come in from China that would never pass safety standards under Canadian or American laws.

Currently, concerned parents are wondering about the safety in the plastics of toys produced by Fisher Price. The CEO is the brother of my dad’s former best friend who tragically died of ALS/MND in 2011. Fisher Price uses plastics from both China and Mexico, as toy making has been offshored although it was produced in western New York for ages. Mexico has abided by all of the rules. China won’t give a straightforward answer.

This is just the tip of the iceberg of problems with China, and I’m sure there is far more I don’t know (and this does not mean we should neglect the Chinese people who are trying to make China better or neglect the rich, vibrant Chinese culture). So, why then, are we adopting from China when this a country notorious for corruption?

Adoption is a business. It’s a multibillion dollar, $12 million dollars a year, in the USA alone. China is a very corrupt country and adoption agencies in China are no different. This isn’t to say agencies in Canada or the States are excellent because they too are extremely shady. Corruption permeates all businesses, and that includes adoption agencies.

This is a bit of a catch 22. On one hand people want to help orphans (please see my article on how 80% of orphans in this world are not actually orphans according to UNICEF, June 2015) and they know girls are seen as lesser by many Chinese. In fact, I have a wonderful, creative Chinese friend who went to Harvard and still cannot be seen as “good enough” by her lousy parents because she is female. Yet, on the other hand, you are adopting from a corrupt country and international adoption is so loosely regulated it’s plagued with corruption no matter how good they seem on the outside because even with an astounding rating judged by Americans, Canadians, Irish etc adopting most of them don’t know exactly how these babies are ending up there.

Since 1970, a minimum of 70 million Chinese women have been forced into abortion and adoption (I will pull up the reference later…later tried to and it’s very difficult to post links on here so please do some googling on forced adoptions and China). True, boys are more valued but that is not by all, and in a male dominated society women who want to keep their daughters may not be allowed to. The Chinese government forces single women to abort or give away their babies (this force had been done by White countries for decades), if couples are under 21 they are forced to give away their baby or abort (a

The Chinese government forces single women to abort or give away their babies (this force had been done by White countries for decades), if couples are under 21 they are forced to give away their baby or abort (a sugarcoated term for unborn baby killing).

Minority Chinese can have up to three children, unless the third pregnancy produces multiples (twins, triplets) then they can keep all. The Han Chinese, unless they pay a fee equivalent to one year’s salary (aka for rich people only) are only allowed two children (it was one child until 2016). If they (Han) get pregnant for a third time- previously for a second time- they are forced into abortion or adoption. With that being said it’s not really adoption, it’s human trafficking. There is a fine line between adoption and human trafficking.

People who adopt from China are being made to think all of these children (girls and special needs boys mainly) were unwanted babies, abandoned babies but the truth is many of them do not fall under that category, and you don’t know which ones fall under that category and which ones don’t. Do a google search of Chinese fathers looking for their children that were placed in orphanages without their consent because of government interference. Ask yourself with a country with one billion people why these babies and toddlers are not being adopted by someone from China to preserve their language and culture. In a country of one billion they can’t find someone? Horseshit. I’d have less of a problem with my fellow White people adopting children of colour if they respected their cultures. I have a strong respect for those who preserve a child’s language and culture if they are adopting a child from a different background.

This isn’t to be against the people who adopted from China. Adoptive parents (for the most part) who adopt from China are well meaning, but they were uninformed about the fact there is so much corruption from the fact most orphans are not orphans, to the forced oppression of pregnant women and young couples, and the fact Chinese adoption agencies separate twins (and so did the United States and who knows maybe they still do).

Separate twins? You read that correctly. Multiple accounts have garnered attention of twins adopted from China being separated and placed in different families. Make no mistake, this wasn’t accidental. It’s purely done for business because a bigger profit is made that way. The problem with societies is that when they see this, such as “Twins Reunite on Good Morning America” they think “awww they are so cute” without thinking about the exploitation of these children (as I strongly believe this reunion should not have been publicized although it is up to the girls themselves to decide how they feel on it, their and only their thoughts on how their own reunion was displayed matters) and the fact that adoption agencies in China are disgustingly separating twins.

Where is the outcry from people across the world to demand we cease adoptions from China until a thorough investigation is made by the United Nations to investigate adoption agencies in China and adoption agencies who do business with China? People hear the word adoption and go “awww” and that’s because people have been programmed/brainwashed to think that way. We should be outraged that twins are being separated, and the adoptive parents should be extremely outraged. If I were one of those adoptive parents I’d sue the living shit out of the adoption agency.

Separating twins for bigger profits is not just an occurrence in China, but around the world and has happened in the United States as, according to my research, recently as 1991. An adoptee from Watertown, NY born in 1991 and adopted through an adoption agency in Watertown, NY as a baby was searching for her first mother only to be informed by search angels that she has a twin brother. This twin brother of hers was never mentioned to her adoptive parents or to her. I can also tell you of a case of a brother and sister from Rochester, NY separated because of adoption who ended up having sex when they were uninformed they are related due to the fact closed adoption is child abuse, tragically the boy committed suicide (adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide and finding out you screwed your sister probably would sadly do most guys in), and recently a set of American twins who were separated at birth in the late twentieth century from a “reliable” American adoption agency to garner higher profits who ended up marrying and having sex and not understanding why they are infertile until their test results came back. So, this child abuse of separating twins permeates the adoption industry not only in China, but it still continues in China now into the twenty first century. Of course, I have no doubt the adoptive parents of these separated twins would have taken the both of them. Do you see why I am not pointing the finger here at adoptive parents?

Chinese adoptions need to stop until the United Nations makes a thorough investigation because separating even one set of twins (and it’s been more than one) and forcing couples to limit their number of children, and then forcing them into unborn baby killing (even as late as seven months pregnant) or giving away their babies is more than enough. China has to apologise to millions of babies it killed through abortion and to the millions of Chinese adoptees because of its One Child Policy act.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/just-alike-twins-separated-at-birth/

http://www.npr.org/2016/02/01/465124337/how-chinas-one-child-policy-led-to-forced-abortions-30-million-bachelors

I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY ARTICLES, BUT THE REPEATS AND POOR GRAMMAR ARE NOT FROM ME. I WRITE, I EDIT, I LOG OFF AND THEN IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE WHAT I WANT IT TO BE. I MAY HAVE TO START WRITING WITH NO PARAGRAPHS AND SEE IF THAT HELPS.

 

 

 

It’s Not My Poor Editing, It’s WordPress

As I read through my website, I am seeing paragraphs or sections of paragraphs that are being repeated. That is not because of me, that’s because of WordPress. When I am in my account everything looks fine. However, when I go to look at it logged out and how a guest would read my website there are paragraphs that are being repeated. I just wanted my readers to be aware. Everytime I try to fix it, they’re all still there.

Why First Parents and Adoptees Must Not Discriminate Others

In my previous article, I mentioned how it’s saddening to know that Senator Lehman discriminated adoptees and how Senator Weinstein continues to discriminate first mothers, and even more so, adoptees considering they both were/are Jewish. The Jewish people have had a long history of discrimination and oppression, from ancient Greece (*read the story of Hanukkah) to today, and therefore Lehman and Weinstein should know better (at least Weinstein who is still alive) than to discriminate others.

Do you know who else should not discriminate others? First parents (biological parents) and adoptees. Why? Because you have absolutely no clue, in your search, what kind of family member you are going to find. For example, maybe you are atheist and find any very religious person an idiot. What happens when you find your adopted out son is very deep into his religion? Or let’s say you are very religious yourself and have this belief that “homosexuals are disgusting”. Are you willing to risk that backward type thinking knowing that you might discover your first father learned he is homosexual and impregnanted your first mother when they were teenagers before he felt comfortable in his own sexuality? He might be the only family member you find, along with his partner, who isn’t a jerk. I’m not saying you can’t have opinions of your own.

I’m not saying you can’t have opinions of your own. I’m not saying you have to agree with everything, but I am saying you need to respect others’, and others need to respect your views so long as they do not cause harm to others.

I’m often called “Islamaphobic” by liberals, when I will always speak out about the fact Muhammed was a paedophile, a warlord, and had a harem of women. Nobody makes me more proud that listening to ex Muslims. As a child advocate and one who has volunteered with abused children, I’m not going to keep shut about that. You see you can dislike something (ie Islam) without disliking the person. So, what if I were to find a family member of mine is Muslim or married a Muslim? Well, if they are nice to me I would like them. Simple as that. You do not have to agree with someone’s

You see you can dislike something (ie Islam) without disliking the person. There are many very kind people in this world who happen to follow Islam. I like them (and remember there is good and bad in every group). I just don’t like their religion, and why I don’t is everything I’ve learned from people who left Islam.

So, what if I were to find a family member of mine is Muslim or married a Muslim? Well, if they are nice to me I would like them. Simple as that. You do not have to agree with someone’s religion, or even sexuality, or their lifestyle choices, but you do need to treat people with respect unless they have lost your respect. There’s a difference between saying “homosexuals are nasty” and “I wish you only health and happiness, but I do not agree with being homosexual.”

I have friends who are atheist who make fun of my religion, Christianity, and who dislike Christianity yet they like me. I’m not offended because, my religion is not me. That is something that is hard for a lot of people.

So before you discriminate someone think about how you say something. Instead of saying “religious people are idiots” say “I don’t believe in religion”. (And one can believe in God without following a religion).  Instead of saying “people with blue dyed spiked hair look ridiculous” stop and think, are they hurting anyone with an alternative punk look? Instead of saying “Protestant is the only religion people should follow” say “I am proud to be Protestant.” These are just some examples of many.

Remember when searching for and finding family members you are going to find anything and everything. Some who think and act and look just like you and some who couldn’t be more different. Love kind people.

So, the next time, for example, you start to think homosexuality is “awful” stop and think. 1. That is how that person’s brain is wired. 2. How is a person being homosexual negatively affecting you? 3. What great contributions have gay people given to the world? Da Vinci and Michelangelo, for example, were gay. 4. Understand it’s not a choice, if it were a choice nobody would do it in the Middle East and parts of the continent of Africa where gay people are being thrown off of buildings and hanged. 5. Are you willing to risk close minded thoughts and not get to know a great family member? 6. Let’s say, due to your faith, you believe marriage is only between a man and a woman (*please note this is a good time to look at your Torah/Old Testament and read about men who married their slaves, had multiple wives, etc). You have the right to believe this, but you do not have the right to say (nor should you think) gay people will go to hell or that they don’t deserve equality, such as if you do believe only in your version of marriage then gay couples should be allowed the exact same rights that hetereosexual marriage couples have, but in my opinion it’s silly we are fighting over simply, a word, but I respect your beliefs even if I disagree with them.

So what about me who thinks Islam is awful because of the person who created it? A person is not their religion. That’s hard for a lot of people. Don’t forcefully go up and verbally attack someone because of their faith. I know a man who is Muslim. Yet he eats pork, he drinks beer, his daughter wears bikinis and she’s a teenager (already, I feel like yesterday she was one year’s old),  and he doesn’t even go to mosque. He’s also one of the kindest and most hilarious guys you could ever meet. When I lived in Canada I dealt with more anti Americanism from White Canadians than I have ever dealt with from the many Muslim people I’ve met from the Middle East. I have a friend from Palestine who is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, who is deep into his Islamic faith, but I do not agree with his religion because of who founded it. The bottom line, there are good Muslims and bad Muslims, good Jews and bad Jews, good Catholics and bad Catholics, good atheists and bad atheists, good straight people and bad straight people, good lesbian people and bad lesbian people, etc.

Nobody is saying you have to agree with everything, but you do need to show love and kindness to others unless they have lost that privilege.

I hope this makes sense I had a little trouble getting my words out today. I think, for some, this will still be a hard article for them.

Why Are Jewish/LGBT Senators Who Come from Groups of Oppressed People, Choosing to Oppress Another Group of People Including Some of Their Own?

This article is not an anti-Semitic/anti-Jewish article. It’s vital to point out the fact that many Jewish adoptees, in New York state and outside of New York state (including up in Canada) have been discriminated against themselves. Many adoptees have yet to learn they have Jewish ancestry because they have yet to do ancestry DNA testing. During the twentieth century, Jewish women who were heavily drugged during childbirth, including those in New York, were told that their babies died during childbirth when in fact they were secretly adopted out to Christian families. These Christian families, in turn, were told lies so they thought (for the most part) they were saving the baby.

Yet, we live in a society that feels it’s completely fine to show the problems caused by White, Christian males but say anything against another group of people and you’re automatically painted as a terrible racist. In fact, people will point out problems created by “White, Christian males” without realizing there is good and bad in every group. We say “European colonialism”, but forget many French, for example, integrated well, and the Polish people have never invaded, but been invaded numerous times.  This article is not

This article is not painting a wide brush against a whole group of people. We are focusing on merely two people. Two Jewish people out of over 1.1 million Jewish people, and that’s just the demographics of Jewish people in New York City.

The Jewish people have a history of discrimination, such as being expelled by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella from Spain in 1492. During the second Bubonic Plague of Europe in the 1300s (which really lasted until 1666), since Jews had better bathing habits than Christians many poor Jewish people were cruelly and viciously burned at the stake for false accusation of poisoning the wells. This isn’t to say every single Jewish person in history was a good person, as many during the trans Atlantic slave trade were owners of slave ships, because, once again, there is good and bad in every religious group, gender, race, etc. These are just some examples of discrimination Jewish people have gone through, and even today we see the terrible events of actions such as synagogues being burned down here in the USA.

So, with a history of discrimination, one must ask then why Senator Lehman and Senator  Weinstein, both of the Jewish religion and of Jewish blood, strongly discriminate New York adoptees, including fellow Jews?

Senator Lehman, born in the 1800s, was born to a Jewish family. Prior to 1935, New York adoptees kept their original birth certificate knowing who their biological parents are. In 1935, after buying two children from the human trafficker/kidnapper Georgia Tann Senator Lehman, Jewish, sealed original birth certificates on adoptees born and adopted in New York and it has been that way ever since. It has absolutely nothing to do with privacy  for the following reasons:

  1. Alaska and Kansas have never sealed their original birth certificates.
  2. Other states didn’t seal their original birth certificates until later such as Pennsylvania in 1984.
  3. An original birth certificate is not sealed until an adoption is finalized, so if a child ends up growing up in foster care he keeps his original birth certificate, making privacy null and void. If it were about privacy, it would have never been made.
  4. The sealing of original birth certificates in New York State started solely because Jewish senator Lehman wanted to cover his tracks from buying a baby from the psychopath and human trafficker Georgia Tann. This also covered the tracks of psychopath and actress Joan Crawford who also bought from Georgia Tann.

Today, over eighty years later, New York adoptees -Jewish and non Jewish- continue to be discriminated and denied their original birth certificate. They continue to be second class citizens. All because of the outspoken, and discriminatory, Jewish senator of today Senator Helene Weinstein who forcefully advocates for continued discrimination of adoptees; likely because she is either hiding something or covering for someone. Senator Weinstein comes from two discriminated groups of people, Jewish people and lesbians, yet she feels it’s her duty to discriminate adoptees not only in denying them their original birth certificates but in thinking they deserve and should be someone’s dirty secret. The truth of the matter is not a single first mother is ever given anonymity nor confidentiality. Not even in the case of closed adoptions, which are a form of child, medical, and psychological abuse (I’ll wait for everyone else to catch up on that reality…tick tock) because when a baby is given away there is no guarantee that baby will be adopted or that the adoption will fall through or that reselling of the child will occur. This reminds me of a case of a baby given away, who landed up in foster for seven years, and was adopted back at age 7 by his own mother. That child never lost his original birth certificate and because he was adopted by his own mother, his amended birth certificate still had her name on it. Jewish Senator Weinstein has been informed about this by numerous first mothers here in New York such as Joyce Bahr and Lorraine Dusky, to name just two, yet she refuses to change for, at least what I think, of the reasons given above. What about babies conceived in rape? What about them. You don’t discriminate people because of how they were created. That is out of their control. As I always say, abortion and adoption put the blame on the baby, not on the attacker.

It was a Jewish person who commenced the discrimination of adoptees in New York, and a Jewish person who continues that discrimination, including to fellow Jews. You would think two people who come from a people with a history of horrible oppression would be a bit more sympathetic; I guess not. So why is their Judaism important? Because coming from a group of people that is discriminated, they should know better than to discriminate others. The same thing rings for her sexuality. LGBT are discriminated, although they have recently made great gains in the USA, and that is all the more reason she should not be discriminating others.

As for the photo, I didn’t want to use photos of people as that would be wrong. I didn’t want to use any Jewish symbols as that would be wrong, so I chose a different photo that shows truth people don’t want to discuss. The photo can be researched through Carnegie Institute. While most slave owners were Christian, most slave ship owners were Jewish, which can be researched at libraries.

 

How Leah Remini and Matthew Santoro Just Exposed More Adoption and Abortion Corruption

Oh, the King of Queens. I used to watch Leah’s show. Leah and the rest of the cast would make me crack up with their antics. Excellent script writers and great actors made for a television series I looked forward to when it was on.

Yet in reality, Leah’s life was much more complex, much more dangerous, and much more unhappy than her television character’s life. Leah, born to a Jewish father and Sicilian mother was raised as a Catholic until at nine years old her mother brought her into the church of Scientology. The church of Scientology is called a “church” but it is not a church, it is a cult, and no church be it Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, Catholic, Adventist, etc recognizes the cult of Scientology as a church.

If you want to know how absolutely nuts Scientology is, watch Matthew Santoro’s youtube video about Scientology or for everyone’s favourite reference, South Park. There’s plenty wrong with Scientology from the fact its founder was a science fiction writer whose own son said his father suffered from severe mental illness, and everyone around him suffered for it too, to the fact it is not a religion of peace, to the fact its members are brainwashed and are threatened if they leave the church.

Members who know anyone who opposes the cult are pressured to cut them out of their lives or face ostracism. This was the case of Sara Goldberg who joined Scientology but when her son’s friends brought out truths about it the cult pressured her very deeply to stop communicating with her son because of who her friends were. She stuck by her son but lost communication with her daughter who by then was too brainwashed, and I hope her daughter receives the psychological help she needs especially because the cult is against any form of therapy.

So, how does this play into adoption and abortion and how did Leah Remini and Matthew Santoro expose it? Sea Org is a military organization of Scientology. Female members of the Sea Org are not allowed to get pregnant. Also, they have to contract their souls to the Sea Org for one billion years. No, I’m not making this up. Getting pregnant is seen by the Sea Org as extremely vile. Women and girls who become pregnant who are in Sea Org are forced to commit either abortion or put their babies up for adoption and receive extreme emotional abuse for getting pregnant. Forced. So why isn’t either industry speaking out to end this?

The billion dollar abortion industry and multi billion dollar adoption industry, which is loosely regulated, uncredentialed, and has no oversight, are allowing women, and worse yet minors, to have abortions or adoptions completely against their will because their cult, and especially if it’s a cult they’re parents brought them into, are forcing them, and not a single thing is being done to stop it. Whether it’s helping a woman escape domestic violence or helping  a woman escape a crazy cult, the goal should be removing the crisis, never removing the baby from his mother and mother from her baby.

I really don’t want to hear the excuses. It should be the job of abortion clinics, adoption agencies and adoption attorneys to look into why the woman or girl is there in the first place, but when money is on the table it seems people don’t want to do their homework.

I give a big thank you to Leah Remini and Matthew Santoro for exposing Scientology, which has been linked to homicides (and probably suicides too) and for exposing more corruption among the detestable adoption and abortion industries. Leah Remini continue to speak out, you are very brave. I know personally how hard it is to speak out against something a lot of people think is wonderful (hence this blog), and be sure Leah to take breaks for yourself cause I know too how anxiety provoking it can be.

Time to relax. This was a hard article emotionally to write.

Are or Were You an Egg Donor? Get a Colonoscopy and Mammogram.

Egg donors. They’re a lot different than sperm donors. First, using the term egg donor and sperm donor is more subtle coercive language practice. Say to a person “you were created by an egg donor/a sperm donor” and that person, when they reach maturity is more likely to think “I have a biological mother/father out there.” We live in western societies that find it perfectly acceptable to create children for monetary gain. Children who grow up who have a longing for answers, a connection with biological kin, and to get to know their biological parent; at least for the majority. It’s human nature, so it is society that has been going against the grain.

How are biological mothers via egg donations and biological fathers via sperm donation different? Well, men have it a lot easier. They go into a room, look at a little Playboy or what have you or fantasize about Scarlett Johansson or Katheryn Winnick or whoever they have the hots for, and have themselves a good time and deposit semen. The end. They can do this over and over.

Biological mothers via egg donation have it much harder. A woman’s eggs must be stimulated before being harvested, and the harvest is a painful procedure. This is why women are paid so much more anywhere from $10,000 to $15,000 last time I checked, although the back of my mind is saying some places might be upwards of $28,000.

Women donating their eggs in order for other people to raise their biological children must take hormones in order for eggs to be stimulated to get as many eggs as possible. Okay, so a lot of women try IVF on themselves with their own eggs using hormones, what’s your point?

Simple. Women who have hormones used on themselves for their own eggs to be implanted in their own bodies so they can raise their own biological children are a class onto themselves and cannot be put into this study. Those women have medical histories done and are carefully screened afterward, very carefully screened. Also, those women (not saying it snobbishly just making a polite distinction) do so many rounds of IVF until happy success or depressing reality that it won’t work. Egg

Egg donors, on the other hand, can come back for upwards of nine or ten rounds of hormones being injected into them. Your  average woman, even of the upper class, doing it to try and conceive her own children could never afford nine or ten rounds or if they happen to have the budget of Celine Dion (who was the fourteenth born child to an impoverished family and would have been a prime target of the abortion and adoption industries) what doctor would allow a woman who isn’t classified as an “egg donor” to be pumped with egg producing hormones ten times? My educated guess….none.

Women donating their eggs for others to raise their biological children have a much darker scenario. Once they walk out they become medical mysteries. There is no medical follow up. They are pumped with hormones, handed their $15,000 or whatever, never to be seen or heard from again.

Does this not seem shady to my intellectual readers? You pump a young woman’s body (as egg donors must be in their twenties) with hormones which will change the physiology of a woman, and herself psychologically, and then you do no post-checkup, no blood work, no follow through? How is this even legal?

For at least fourteen years now people, such as Dr. Jessica Schneider MD whose daughter Jennifer died from complications of egg donation, have been advocating for not only post treatment and post checkups but keeping a registered list of anonymous donors. Even now in 2017, there is no list for anonymous sperm donors and anonymous egg donors (aka people who give their egg or sperm to be made into their biological children for others to raise but that is a mouthful to say and write every time). Without a list, it makes it very hard to hold companies accountable for any medical malpractices and for any major medical mishaps such as the death of young Jennifer at only 31 years old.

Without a list, it makes it very hard to hold companies accountable for any medical malpractices and for any major medical mishaps such as the death of young Jennifer at only 31 years old. According to Dr. Schenider, MD her daughter had no prior indication of colon cancer and no family medical history. Right after finishing her multiple rounds, Jessica developed an aggressive form of colon cancer at age 29 and died at age 31. Jessica is not the only case.

Stories are starting to emerge from the families of “egg donors” from both here in the United States and across the pond in the United Kingdom of young women with no family history of any type of cancer suddenly getting colon cancer, and a couple of cases of breast cancer. Colon cancer is something you don’t even look for until you’re 50 unless you have a family medical history of it (please read my article on how closed adoptees like myself are discriminatorily kept from knowing our biological medical information even in life or death sentences and my article about how adoption agencies don’t even have to share it if they don’t want to even if the natural/biological family wants to). These are young women in their twenties and thirties who are coming down with colon cancer or breast cancer with zero indication they are at any risk prior to donation.

One must ask themselves are they reporting to their own general physicians and ob/gyns that they have been egg donors? Are these OB/GYNs and GPs aware of the connection? Are gastroenterologists been made aware of the connection? Yet without a list made of anonymous women donors we can’t even be scientifically sure there is a connection. We can only speculate at this point that if there are both American and British cases of young women battling cancer or far worse, dying from cancer, that they had no indication of being at risk pre-donation, but then develop colon cancer post-donation, that the surge in hormones in their body most likely

Without a list made of anonymous women donors we can’t even be scientifically sure there is a connection although the evidence out there points very strongly to there needing to be massive changes in the egg business. We can only speculate at this point that if there are both American and British cases of young women battling cancer or far worse, dying from cancer, that they had no indication of being at risk pre-donation, but then develop colon cancer post-donation, that the surge in hormones in their body most likely is contributing to the development of cancer possibly aggressing the cancer cells to reproduce. Without a list of names we cannot figure out exactly how many are getting colon or breast cancer, or other cases not yet documented by survivors or victims’ families, and thus it makes it much harder for the medical community to save lives.

Without a list of names we cannot figure out exactly how many are getting colon or breast cancer, or other cases not yet documented by survivors or victims’ families, and thus it makes it much harder for the medical community to save lives.

Well, you might be thinking what about the many open ID biological mothers via egg donation can’t we just look at their rates? We could, except studies aren’t being done. That’s the problem. Of course, these young women aren’t be informed about the psychological, physical and physiological giving away their eggs will have on them for life; that moment where they stop and think to pay their Yale tuition they have their own flesh and blood children out there somewhere. The bottom line is, even though open ID has a list of names because they are open to contact when the created child turns 18, there are still not post-check ups and post-monitoring being done by these companies or on a wide scale.

What do I recommend? Well, at this point I’ve only lightly delved into this study so I feel it would be a bit embarrassing for me to give any recommendations. I’ll leave that up to the ob/gyns and other medical professionals. My goal is to shed light on the fact nobody is keeping a tidy record of names, nobody is doing any research on the implications both physical, physiological and psychological on what happens to young women you pump with hormones.

My goal is to shed light on the fact nobody is keeping a tidy record of names, nobody is doing any research on the implications both physical, physiological and psychological on what happens to young women you pump with hormones.

My one suggestion to those who were egg donors. Err on the side of caution and have a colonoscopy and a mammogram. Sure, it won’t be pleasant but it just may save your life. To those considering becoming an egg donor consider what you have learnt here tonight. Women are coming forward strongly insisting egg donation gave them terminal cancer. Backing out does not make you selfish. I know many draw you in with comments like “make someone happy today”. Is your health and life worth risking or ending to make some infertile woman happy? Perhaps it’s time for women with infertility to come to terms with the fact they won’t have children and were destined for a different lifestyle. My heart goes out to those who are heartbreakingly suffering from infertility, but with more cases of cancer popping up and a lack of medical follow up being done that needs to take precedence.

Solutions? 1. Make sure gastroenterologists are on the state board of health for “egg donors” in each state. I know none are in New York.

2. Create a list of anonymous donors from the present and past.

3. Only allow open donors and only allow a maximum amount of times women can donate (as in three times).

4. Ban anonymous donors. Everyone must be open.