What I’m about to discuss will not sit well with many. My answer is tough, you’re absolutely not changing my mind. I’ve noticed adoption agency workers and adoption attorneys are sneaking onto adoptees’ facebooks accounts, so I did a little spring cleaning on my list. You also have those adoptees who consider them advocates because they helped get them noticed by a wide viewing of people. Well, you can learn to dance from the devil and get all the attention you want but your teacher is still the devil. Okay, I tried to make an analogy. I came across an adoption attorney who yes I called a bitch and didn’t flinch twice about calling her so. That’s pretty much the name calling I’ll resort to when I stated “too many adopted children are being abused and murdered and there needs to be accountability and adopted children should be checked on through unexpected dropins to ensure their safety.” Her response was, “then that won’t make adoptive parents real parents and adoptive parents end up killing their children because there’s a lack of support for adoptive parents.” Hilarious, and I say that completely sarcastically. No, there’s an utter lack of support for biological family members who want to raise a child or there is support but often it’s completely downgraded and adoption made out to be a perfect solution. Any first mother who joined an adoption thinking it’d be a fully open adoption and then watching it close knows precisely what I mean. This? This is the excuse from an adoption attorney? One who works in all sorts of adoption types including the very unethical and the very shady and by that I mean any adoption is unethical because they seal the original birth certificate from the adoptee and the government steals it and gives the adoptee a false one. By shady I mean the amount of lies and manipulation used in adoptions to obtain a baby, and the amount of human trafficking that is involved in international adoption such as the kidnapping of children put into orphanages who are later adopted. Plus, the simple fact that adoption is legalised human trafficking because it’s nearly always not necessary but also because a profit it being made off of children when they are sold from one family to another. I’m sure some will read this and report it back to her. Oh well, do whatever pleases you. The woman showed her true self, and made an excuse for adoptive parents who murder their children. Do you know why people murder their children? Because they’re horrible people. It doesn’t matter if they are biological, foster, step, or adoptive. And no, checking on adopted children doesn’t make the adoptive parents any less parents. In fact, in response to my idea was an adoptive dad who thought this is an absolutely necessary thing to do. Unfortunately, like another adoptive dad mentioned it’ll never happen because it invades the Fourth Amendment in pertaining to American citizens.
What about checking up on children who aren’t adopted? So many children are being abused who should be taken away from their biological households. First, it absolutely disgusts me what isn’t considered child abuse in the United States. Take, for example, Idaho where it’s completely legal to totally deny your child any medical care whatsoever even routine checkups and even basic medicine to the point your child dies. I suppose based on some screwed up idea of faith which is just used an excuse for diabolical severe child abuse. So yes, I strongly agree with a biological cousin of mine that all children should be checked upon.
However, there needs to be extremely strong regulations in place. No financial gain should be made by removing a child from the home otherwise the corruption, such as medical kidnapping, will never cease. What is and isn’t consider child abuse must be clearly explained in state or Federal guidelines and who is qualified to become a social worker must become much, much tougher with only those at the Masters levels checking on the children. Other people who check on the children could include: police officers if the family has a good report with the local police. For various, obvious reasons, some are not keen to have police involved. Police owe it to children to learn, prepare for and remain calm when cooperating with children who can show excessively violent behavior and receive training in psychology. The requirements to become a police officer must become more challenging to weed out the few bad weeds and part of those requirements should require understanding psychological well being and behavioral tics of those, especially children, with say severe bipolar, severe autism, or any other intense psychological ailment. Teachers, principals, paediatricians, paediatric nurses; these are others who can also check on children.
However, let’s be reasonable here. As good intentions as this is, there’s two reasons not every child can be checked on. One, there simply isn’t enough people. Two, it’ll never happen that people would do welfare checks for free and since so greed will always play a role and with greed in the front it leads to corruption.
The abuse of any child, the murder of any child is abyssmal. It doesn’t matter if the child was a newborn, infant, toddler, young child, or teenager. It doesn’t matter the child’s intellect, colour, gender, race, sexuality, religion, disabilities if any, mental illness if any, economic status, height, weight, behavior, location, culture, appearance or anything else I might be forgetting. When people say, “well, children are abused and murdered by their biological families too.” My reply is, “yes, they horrifically are and this is due to multiple failed systems be it in England or Canada or the States, etc. But the difference here is two things, not to make the murder of a child by his own biological family less of an issue, one adopted children are a lot more likely to be killed by a member of their adoptive family than a child is likely to be killed by his or her own biological family. How much more? I forget the statistic, but it is significantly higher. Two, the second difference is that when an adopted child is murdered by their adopters or abused by them it shows the state, county, or province and/or the adoption attorney and/or adoption agency utterly failed in finding that child a safe home.
Keep in mind the reselling of adopted children online, who are mostly Asian, then African, then Eastern European ELL children, should absolutely be considered child abuse and that’s including those not adopted by paedophiles. I’ve written before about second home adoptions. I will make it adamently clear that I am not saying good, loving adoptive parents who are the secondary adoptive parents to a child are bad. Not whatsoever! I am saying the agency committed, in my belief, abuse on the child for unnecessarily taking him or her from their original family or original home country when it was utterly unnecessary, which is almost always the case, and then for failing to find an adoptive couple or adoptive parent who can actually handle the trauma this child has endured prior to his adoption. It’s child abuse to remove a child from his or her culture and then demand they be happy about it, but alas that’s what’s expected of most adoptees.
Back to the point at hand. Holding adoption agencies and adoption attorneys accountable. Yet, as I’ve told many police officers, including the Amherst, NY police department where an adopted child in the 1990s was murdered by their adopter the agencies are not held accountable. Do you know how you can tell that adopted children are commodities? When the response is often, “well, these social workers are overwhelmed.” It doesn’t matter. I’ve started this before what a terrible excuse. Overwhelmed is one thing and that I do not argue with, but these workers and more importantly the CEOs and employers of these adoption agencies and state or provincial department of social services need to be held accountable for their abyssmal work in putting children into the most dangerous situations.
I’ve created, as have others, ideas to create safety regulations for the adoption empire to follow to ensure all adopted children are safe and treated much more equally from legally enforcing open adoptions to taking the money out of out of family infant adoptions to giving only certificates of adoption to adoptive parents but they do not want to do this only because it would mean, as I’ve explained before, losing at least $12 billion dollars annually.
We owe it to adopted children to check on their welfare status until the adoption industry improves themselves and put children before the almighty dollar. The industry will enjoy telling you that adoption is safe but the very fact that adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide than non adoptees in the United States, with elevated rates in other countries such as Sweden; a country with a lot more services than the US, and six times higher if an adoptee or color and higher also if a lgbt adoptee proves otherwise.
We also, owe it to adopted children to ask questions to adoptive parents and potential adoptive parents of why they want to adopt and why they adopted. We owe it to adopted children to ask what kind of adoption is it? This will come off as extremely controversial with some adoptees disagreeing with me. You’re entitled to your opinion, but you will not change my belief on this and the reason why is this
We wouldn’t be having to ask questions if so many abusive, lying, murderous people weren’t adopting children. Narcissistic personality disorder is rampant in adoptive mother. Of course, there are excellent, loving adoptive moms out there but I won’t deny a crisis that keeps being ignored. There are too many adopters and potential adopters doing some of the following and these are actual examples of things I’ve dealt with from adopters:
*Adopting a child from an African country and then deciding two months later parenting isn’t for them after taking this little boy away from people who look like him, his culture, his land, and possibly his language as I forget which African country and unaware what the boy’s first language is.
*Adopting a little White boy from here in the US and then deciding, “he gets in the way of our careers.”
*A creep in Ipswich, England adopting a little girl and then posting on Quora, “how do I get my adopted daughter to walk around naked for me?”
*Being a gay adoptive person who is incredibly condescending and dismissive of adoptee trauma, adoption corruption, and unethical practices by the adoption industry. I will mention their sexuality because LGBT people come from a discriminated group of people. They showed know better than to discriminate others yet here in New York I constantly see this discrimination towards adoptees from LGBT politicians. I am bisexual, but in all honesty I want every straight person to know they too can say something such as, “you’re LGBTQP. You come from a discriminated group. So why do you participate in the discrimination of others? or Why do you not want to learn about the discrimination of adoptees after you have adopted that you weren’t made aware of before so your adopted child is psychologically well?
I think the problem is because, regardless of sexuality, adoptive parents are told all you need is love. Which is completely the opposite of what they tell young, poor, vulnerable in some capacity parents who want to raise their child. Yes, in some manner albeit to a much lesser degree adoptive parents too can be victims of adoption industry lies. Look how many are told all you need is love when they are completely unequipped, even with the best intentions, to handle a child with significant traumas or as I’ve mentioned before in this blog, unprepared to handle emotionally their child wanting to search because they were told most don’t want to or if you parent well enough they won’t want to. It’s abuse on all.
My point is, if you come from a discriminated group of people, you should know better than to discriminate others but clearly that so often doesn’t happen across so many lines not just sexuality. In fact, a friend of mine from central New York is a therapist to transgender people who tells me quite often they are in therapy because of the bullying they’ve endured from gay men. My best friend is a gay male who informed me, much to my surprise, that there are gay men out there who loathe women and are completely sexist and misogynistic. That is not an attack on all gay men, because I know some will try to twist my words to say it is. It’s a simple fact that just because someone is discriminated doesn’t mean they won’t discriminate others. I’m sure some will take offense to this because I’m female, but truth is truth that there are people of every background imagineable, every sexuality adopting for either malicious and selfish reasons. Isn’t it also true people have become complacent with pointing out the wrongdoings of straight White people, as people should including other straight White people, but getting up in arms when people of another demographic are mentioned doing something wrong? If I hadn’t mentioned by bisexuality I can guarantee you I’d be considered a hater of the LGBT community. If I hadn’t mentioned my best friend is a gay male or that most gay men are good people, there would be people on here calling me homophobic when I mention why are discriminated people discriminating others and that I’ve learned that some gay men hate women. I’m sure some still will call me whatever they want. I simply don’t care.
*The adoptive parents who constantly say they will do an open adoption and then close it and not because of the child being unsafe. Nor is a closed adoption necessary for a child’s safety.
*The adoptive parents who call an adoptee ungrateful for searching for whatever reason they want to search.
*The adoptive parents or potential adoptive parents who want to adopt from the “quickest, cheapest country possible” without a care in the world to how ethical it is.
*The adoptive parents who strip a child of his culture for those who know the original culture.
*The tens of thousands who resell their kids online. The last one I read about directly from the despicable source was “we adopted a little girl because we wanted a little girl but now that she’s entered puberty we’re willing to pay up to $7,500 for anyone who wants her.” Oh yes, if a lawyer is involved this is legal.
Of course, again there are adoptive parents who also have been screwed over like an adoptive couple who were devastated to learn the children they adopted from Ethiopia came from a middle class family.
This, this is why I say. Be a bitch. Ask questions. You don’t even need to be an adoptee. You can be even a fellow adoptive parent in fact I strongly encourage adoptive parents to get involved so that malicious people aren’t adopting. So that people understand when they adopt an infant to their liking they are simply shopping and participating in legalised human trafficking not trying to find a home for a child who truly needs it like a wonderful, loving and caring biological cousin of mine who wants to adopt a sibling set who cannot live with their biological family due to abuse and to keep them the children together. You don’t even need to be affliated to adoption in any capacity. They may not answer and they aren’t legally obligated to answer but you do have a right to ask and you should ask. Why should you ask?
- There are many reasons to adopt but for the most part people are adopting for infertility reasons. You know why we have such high infertility? Because of how people abuse the environment and that includes myself and I know I need to clean up my act and for that I apologize. Because, and this will make me a big bitch, because of the obesity epidemic but nobody wants to mention that. What the adoption industry doesn’t want to say, and will vehemently deny, is that adoption does not erase the pain of infertility. It does such a disservice. An infant is taken from a mom causing trauma that society refuses to acknowledge. A child is often required to be the imaginary biological child they could never have, this was certainly not the case for me but it is for many and yes I was adopted as an infant. A mom who wanted to raise her child is told she isn’t good enough and then suffers psychological issues. Of course, there are exceptions and in another article I’ll mention how I get very annoyed with people thinking all biological mothers are good people and all adoptive parents are bad.
2. Because too many are adopting without understanding the psychological complications or caring.
3. Because too many are using every manipulative tactic in the book online to get a woman or adolescent girl to give up her baby by pretending to be her best friend.
*Child in photo was a Russian boy adopted by American parents who was abused and murdered by them resulting in Putin abolishing intercountry adoptions with the U.S. and rightfully so. No, I do not like Putin but that’s a story for another day and not on here.