I’m strapped for cash, and I am at the point that I really wish I could be paid for my articles, my research, and my ability to reconnect families because I’ve been able to do it better than those who people pay thousands of dollars to to search for them when they mentally can’t take it anymore. I’d post more direct sources on these articles instead of telling readers to scroll down and read articles if I were paid (yes, were you use the subjunctive if you want things to be so, but they aren’t so).
Some states demand adult adoptees get written proof from their adoptive parents to search for their natural families. I’m the type of person where I really do not care who you are. I will tell it like it is. Unless it’s a position where I could be killed. Certainly, if I lived in the time of the Soviet Union and the gulags, where tens of millions of Eastern Europeans were tortured, starved, and killed -or the lack of freedom of press and freedom of speech in China today- I would not be so bold as I am. Society far too long, be they Canadian or American, is so used to comfortable lies. Sorry, if I just happen to be “the bitch” who let’s you know what’s really happening.
I will go toe to toe with any person, powerful politician or not, who thinks it’s acceptable for adults to have to ask permission from their adoptive parents to search for their blood kin. It’s discrimination and degrading. Let’s also consider all of the massive problems asking for permission brings. My own adoptive father stated to me a year ago, September 2016, that most adoptive parents are self- centered. I know people whose adoptive parents don’t want them to search, not because they are protecting them from say a serial killer biological father, but because they have feelings of jealousy, of possessiveness, or of feeling the adoptee will leave them even if they did a good job parenting. Notions founded in fear or in selfishness. The loosely regulated, uncredentialed adoption industry, that has no oversight and profits $12 billion annually in the United States, paints an image of adoptive families always working out. In 2015, at least one hundred two to one hundred five adopted children were raped and murdered and/or murdered by their adoptive parents. Approximately, according to Reuters, twenty five thousand adopted children each year, most who don’t speak English and don’t know American culture, are resold in the United States, some on the black market to paedophiles. It happens in Canada too, but I have not found the statistics just yet. Many adopted children, and then adopted adults, end up being raised in abusive homes. Many grow up with a narcissistic parent. Many. I can’t emphasize this enough. Many. There’s also the pressure from society that says to the adoptive parents, “why allow your son or daughter to search. If they loved you, they wouldn’t search.” Searching and loving your good adoptive parents do go hand in hand. One can search, even form relationships with natural family members, and still love their adoptive parents very much.
Degrading adults to asking permission from their adoptive parents is something that every American should be aware of and appalled by. Not only is it discrimination and degradation to demand adults ask permission, but the fact they have to search in the first place is discrimination. Birthparent privacy is a myth. I’ve explained how far too many times, and at this point, I don’t want to repeat myself. There are articles far below explaining it. Sealed original birth certificates are pure discrimination and the automatic treatment of turning ten million, and counting, Americans and Canadians into second class citizens (and Brits, and French, and Greeks, and Italians). The fact, society is not ready to accept the fact that biological mothers are not helped by allowing them to stay in the closet, and that they need genuine help.
Ask yourself, why do you think adoptees deserve to be treated this way? Why do you feel adoptees should have to ask permission to do something that any other adult doesn’t need to ask permission for or the fact that non adopted adults always know their roots from day one. Limiting the freedom of adults and making them beg for permission in order to show they are at a lower level is called bullying.
As for begging in court, it’s still discrimination, degradation, and bullying. I have yet to see any court grant permission to unseal an original birth certificate in the United States. In fact, adoptees have died due to this denial. Currently, one adoptee is dying, her thirteen year old daughter is watching her own mother die a slow and terrible death, and the courts are denying her access to her true roots and her biological family when they could likely hold the answers to what would save her life.
No, we don’t need permission.