The History of Sweden and the Swedish People.

Välkommen to the second article about my nine heritages. I am taking a break from adoption talk (in a way) to discuss the nine European countries where my ancestors come from, some a large percentage of my background and some small. In my previous heritage article, about Ireland and the history of the Irish people, I discussed how us closed adoptees are discriminated against by our adoption agencies, biological family members who got rid of us or pressured their daughters to get rid of us to keep a white picket fence image, and discrimination by state governments by not being allowed to know what our heritage(s) is/are. This is only the tip of the iceberg of discrimination closed adoptees endure. I also explained in the Irish article how this is not the same for those who grow up in their own biological family but don’t know their heritage or all of them (please read that article for explanation and interesting history on Ireland).

Having a connection to your people is important. Everyone, including closed adoptees, deserve to participate in activities, beliefs, traditions, artwork, recipes, dances, songs, and anything else related to the land of their ancestors or even biological relatives. For example, my lovely biological cousins Stefanie and Uwe are born and raised in Germany and have lived there their whole lives. (Which is yet another reason I need to stick to learning German). I’ll discuss Germany another time.

I only have a small amount of Swedish heritage. I wonder if I would’ve enjoyed Sweden more during the six times I visited Sweden in 2003 and 2004. Sweden was a country I didn’t feel too connected to when I visited, but I wonder if that would change if I returned knowing  now I have some Swedish heritage.

Well, how much do you know about Sweden?

Did you know the name Sweden came from the Dutch in the 17th century? The Dutch referred to Sweden as a great emerging power. Old English called Sweden Swëopëod (the p is not a p it’s the “th” letter still written in Icelandic) meaning “people of the Swedes”. In Old Norse Svípjód (the p is the “th” letter in Icelandic and the d actually has a hook on top and a slash through it, the other “th” letter still found today in the Icelandic alphabet). The Swedish name Sverige hails from the Svea and rike, first recorded in Beowulf.

Sweden was first inhabited around 12,000 bc by reindeer hunting hunter gatherers fishers. They occupied the most southern point of Sweden. These people were called the Bromme or Bromma tribe.

Sweden isn’t mentioned in writing until 981 AD by the Roman senator Tacitus. He mentions in 44 and 45 AD the Swedes had an amazing army and navy. Norse mythology states Swedish kings reach far back into bc. Old Swedish in early medaieval times/end of ancient times was written in runic script, also called futhark writing.

In the 500s AD, two tribe were living in Sweden, the Suetidi and the Swehans. It was recorded that they were very tall people, and were said to breed great horses. It’s said the Swedish king Adils (500s AD) had the best horses in Europe.

The Vikings of Sweden reigned from the 700s to the 1000s. The Swedish Vikings, along with the Gotlanders, travelled far to modern day Ukraine, Russia, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Belarus, the Black Sea, Finland (next door), and even all the way to Iraq. The Vikings, as we already know were fierce warriors (and terrorists) and impressed the Byztantine emperor (modern day Turkey) Theophils so much he made them his personal bodyguards. These soldiers wore a ruby red earring in their left ear and sewed ornamental dragons into their chainmaille.

The Vikings settled many cities. In my last article, I mentioned how Dublin, Cork, Waterford, and Wexford of Ireland were founded by the Vikings. In eastern Europe the Rus Vikings founded Kiev, Ukraine’s capital. The Vikings are also responsible for starting the czar dynasties of Russia. The name Russia comes from the Rus people and many White  Russians can trace roots to Sweden. Novgorod in Russia was also founded by the Rus Vikings. Described by the Iraqi Ahmad ibn Fadlan, the Rus were very tall and muscular and blonde. (I had read elswhere the Vikings were covered in tattoos and some were redheads). The women wore a box over each breast of iron, silver, copper, or gold which indicates her husband’s wealth. Each box has a ring from which depends a knife. The women wear neck rings of gold and silver. The most cherished jewellery for women were green glass beads.  The Slavic people of these lands became the Vikings’ slaves or were murdered.

Runestones in Sweden tell of the Vikings’ achievements in taking over others’ land. A runestone is a large stone that stands upright with runic inscription. They are often memorials to dead men who were heroic warriors. As Christianity entered Sweden, 70% of the runestones had explicitly Christian messages.

Nobody knows how Sweden came to be a kingdom. Eric the Victorious, born in or around 945 AD is said to be the first king of Sweden tying Sweden and Götaland together. Prior to his reign the two had been separate countries. Beowulf describes Sweden and Götaland going to war with each other three times in the 6th century, but whether these wars happened at all or how they happened is left up to legend. Parts of Sweden in the southwest at the time were owned by the Danes, and Swedes lived in what is now southwest Finland (Turku. Turku is still a Swedish speaking part of Finland. The Swedes ruled Finland from 1150 until 1809).

St. Angar of east Frankia is given credit with introducing Swedes to Christianity in 829 AD but paganism wasn’t completely replaced until the 1100s. In 1050 AD Sweden was listed as a Christian nation. After being Christianized, the Swedes from 1150-1293, according to legend, went to Finland to attack the Finnish, Tavastian, and Karelian pagans (who practiced a different paganism than what the Swedes’ ancestors had practiced).  King Eric IX was killed in Finland. The Swedes created settlements in southwest Finland and had lots of babies, greatly increasing their numbers. Eventually, Sweden ruled Finland for 700 years.

Besides the provinces of Halland, Scania, and Blekinge which were under Danish control and a part of Denmark, Sweden never had feudalism. The Swedish farmers were largely a free class. Slavery was next to never after Sweden was Christianized. In fact, King Magnus IV in 1335 abolished slavery and serfdom. Sweden was a poor country, even though its empire was expanding. Although King Magnus IV ruled over Sweden , Norway, and Iceland starting at age 17, and sent sailors as far away as Greenland, and he did expand his kingdom, he was seen as a weak king and hated by Norwegians. His enemies would make up lies that he was homosexual, which in the 1300s was seen as the worst thing ever, but historians say there isn’t any real proof. Nevertheless, the rumour caused him serious harm.

In the 14th century Sweden’s population, like much of Europe (but oddly not Poland) was decimated by the Bubonic Plague. It was so bad Sweden didn’t replace their population number from the year 1348 until the start of the 19th century!

1/3rd of Swedes died from 1349 to 1351! Yet, the 1300s were not all bad. Life did still go on. Swedish cities did gain greater rights thanks to German merchants. Quite often it happened that boys would come to be king as boys, so Swedish parliament chose 3 powerful families to act on the royal child’s behalf. It is also important to look up the Kalmar Union, but I’m not writing it here as its quite complex. In 1520, Denmark tried to overtake Sweden. King Christian II of Denmark had Swedish nobles executed. Around 100 were executed who were tricked into attending a banquet. Bishops were executed too. The bishops were beheaded The others were hanged or beheaded. The chief executioner Jörgen Homuth states 82, not 100, men were executed. The women were taken as prisoners back to Denmark. Some of these women, like Christina Gyllensteierna became powerful and highly intelligent women that negotiated with King Gustav. King Gustav became king of Sweden in 1523. Swedes consider their independence day to be June 6, 1523. King Gustav I’s reign was considered to be the golden era as Gustav got rid of the greedy Hanseatic League.

By the 1600s, Sweden became a powerhouse and overtook parts of Poland, Lithuania, and Russia in the Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648). King Gustav II almost became the Holy Roman Emperor but was shot and stabbed to death on the 6th or 16th of November 1632 a little after 1pm with his final being an execution style bullet to the temple. Next came King Charles X who expanded Sweden farther. Charles X lived to only 37. Gustav II only had one daughter another family’s son was put into rule. 1696 was a bad year though where 10% of Swedes starved to death because of a famine. For the later half of the 17th century Sweden was in constant warfare. Charles II had one of the best arsenals in the world, and a large army and fleet, but it was no match for Sweden’s biggest nemesis, Russia. In 1700 to 1702 though the Russian army was pitiful. Sweden could’ve easily went in and took over Russia, but Charles II for some reason or other, decided to be nice and wait until Russia rebuild to give them a fighting chance so instead he defeated and killed the Polish King August II overtaking part of Poland (and the Swedish army was only half the size of the Polish army).

On August 30, 1721 Sweden’s vast empire came to an end. The Treaty of Nystad gave Estonia, part of Lithuania, and parts of Finland to Russia in exchange for 2 million silver coins. Russia returned most of Finland back to Swedish hands.

During the Napoleonic Wars, Sweden allied with France. This ended in an 1814 ceasefire with Norway until 1905.

By the late 1800s, Sweden was poor again. Between 1750 and 1850, the population doubled, but famine was a problem. Many starved in northern Sweden in 1866-1868. To prevent rebellion, a mass amont of Swedes left for America. From 1850 to 1910, 1 million Swedes came to the USA mainly to the Midwest. Some did go to Canada. Swedish farmers always had freedom and a voice, and so they used it to better their lives creating the Agrarian Party. They also introduced the potato to Sweden which boosted economy. From 1870 to 1914, Sweden joined the Industrial Revolution. People became involved in socialist unions in the start of the 20th century, but Sweden avoided becoming communist as parliamentary was reinstated and the country was then democratised.

During WWI, Sweden was neutral although they did aid Germany. Sweden remained neutral in WWII, but honestly they weren’t. They supplied Germany and were heavily under German influence. However, Sweden did rescue Jews and support Norwegian resistance. They also supported Finland’s independence from Russia. At the end of WWII, Sweden served as a haven for Jewish refugees. Post WWII, Sweden chose to stay out of NATO and the Warsaw Pact, but did supply Europe to rebuild itself.

In the 1970s, Sweden was hard hit by the oil embargoes. In the 1980s, its industralisation had a facelift moving into the future.

In 1995, Sweden joined the EU but has decided to keep their own currency the kroner. Swedes have been active in the UN in warzones.

Since the later part of the 21st century 20% of Swedish citizens do not have Swedish heritage. What has been an extremely safe country since post WWII has seen a rapid increase in violent crime since the immigration influx. In 2015, thousands weekly poured into Sweden. Swedes demanded improved immigration standards. Immigrants are now having more babies than Swedish women. There are now no-go sections of Sweden because of hand grenades, rapes, and gang warfare. Of course, most of Sweden is still very safe but it is still such a shame. United Nations’ statistics prove this uptick in violent crime. According to the New York Times, this violence (sexual assaults, gang warfare) is not happening from the recent immigrants that just came to Sweden from Syria within the past few years, but from past immigrants who are now second generation (probably grieving their mothers who risked their lives to bring their children to a better land and then wonder why their sons grew up to be such shitheads). This also doesn’t mean ethnic Swedes don’t commit crimes. Of course there are Swedish criminals, but Sweden’s open immigration policy did make it a safe haven for criminals to come in. (I also think about the women from these countries. In their home countries they get no voice and no help if abused or killed, but in Sweden they have a voice). Nevertheless, Swedish politicians have done a good job of currently fucking over Sweden.

Sweden has 25 provinces:

Swedish Latin
Provinces of Sweden
Ångermanland Angermannia
Blekinge Blechingia
Bohuslän Bahusia
Dalarna Dalecarlia
Dalsland Dalia
Gotland Gotlandia
Gästrikland Gestricia
Halland Hallandia
Hälsingland Helsingia
Härjedalen Herdalia
Jämtland Jemtia
Lappland Lapponia Suecana
Medelpad Medelpadia
Norrbotten Norbothnia
Närke Nericia
Öland Olandia
Östergötland Ostrogothia
Skåne Scania
Småland Smolandia
Södermanland Sudermannia
Uppland Uplandia
Värmland Wermlandia
Västmanland Westmannia
Västerbotten Westrobothnia
Västergötland Westrog

 

Swedish culture has been influenced heavily by Protestant Christianity. Semla is a delicious dessert that is a bun with almond paste and whipped cream topped with powdered sugar served with warm milk. Semla is served on shrove Tuesday. This is the last dessert until Lent is over.

Do you enjoy waffles? The Swedes found a way to make them religiously affliated. March 25th (which is actually today) Swedes celebrate the Blessed Mary learning she will be the Mother of God by eating waffles. How did this come to be? Simply a Swedish play on words.

Sweden has given the world many good things in the form of entertainment and use from ABBA to Skype to Lasse Hallström to great Swedish mysteries.

I hope you have enjoyed this tour of Swedish culture, history, and its people.

Oh, and fika because coffee makes the world go round.

 

 

 

 

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The History of Ireland and the Irish People.

In the next nine articles, we’ll be stepping away from adoption and looking at the nine European countries where my roots come from. Some of them with a good percentage, others with just a teensy amount. How is this connected to adoption?

Until the creation of Family Tree DNA, by CEO Bennett Greenspan, who I interviewed in January 2017,  closed adoptees were denied our heritage. We could not know if we are German or Irish or Choctaw, etc. State governments, adoption agencies, and biological family who didn’t care about their family member’s rights but only wanted to see them gone to keep up the white picket fence image, discriminated and discriminate adoptees in a multitude of ways, this being one of them.

Exploring my roots, which I can now trace back thousands of years, has left me feeling proud of my ancestors, and others I am connected to through heritage. To have something in common when it comes to religion, folklore, traditions, beliefs, land, etc. This is something non-adoptees take for granted. Of course, there are always late discovery adoptees; older people who learn late in life they were adopted in which case their actual heritage or heritages can likely change.

But what about people not adopted who don’t know their heritage? Here is the difference. Prior to the creation of Family Tree DNA, in which Bennett created this with adoptees primarily in mind, non-adoptees who didn’t know their heritage could ask around. If their own parents didn’t know there was at least a guess. If their parents had no clue, they could ask extended family members. Of course, having no clue is actually a sign they might have been or might be adoptees. There was a time when telling people you were adopted or your child was adopted was seen as bad. Now, this isn’t necessarily meaning someone whose parent says they have no clue is adopted.

Take my adoptive Mom for example. She always thought she was 100% Polish. When she was a little girl, her grandma told her that they were not 100% Polish but everyone just laughed at her. My Mom tested and found out she is not 100% Polish, although she has a lot of Polish in her.

Closed adoptees are not able to ask around. This is why ancestral testing is so important, and because it’s the links back to our people, our lands, and our families.

So, without further ado The History of Ireland and the Irish People.

Up until about 10,000 bc most of Ireland was covered in ice. Sea levels were lower and Ireland, along with Great Britain, was connected to continental Europe. By 16,000 bc the sea levels rose and Ireland separated from Britain. The earliest humans arrived to Ireland 10,500 bc and communities formed as early as 8000 bc. They lived as hunter gatherers for four thousand years. About 4,000 bc cattle and sheep started to be domesticated, grains grown, and large timber buildings and stone monuments built. The first farm in Ireland (or Great Britain) dates from 4350 bc in County Kerry. In Tyrawley it’s believed the oldest extensive field system in the world exists.

The Bronze Age vastly changed people’s lives and started around 2500 bc. The wheel, harnessing oxen, weaving textiles, skillfull metalworking, brooches and torcs were invented. By the late Bronze Age the pre-Irish traded through the seas with tribes in Britain, western France, Spain, and Portugal (using modern names).

How Celtic Ireland was started is debated. We do know it emerged in the Iron Age. One theory says the Celts invaded Ireland four separate times. The Priteni, the Belgae, the Laighin, and the Gaels, the four tribes being from modern Britain and France. The second, newer theory back by archaelogists, is that Celtic languages and culture arrived in Ireland because of cultural diffusion. Historical linguists disagree. In 2012, a study of Irish men’s Y chromosome was done finding out 84% of Irish men have the R1b chromosome which dates back to 2500 bc in Iberia.

The Roman Empire, the mightiest empire of the ancient world, was never able to take over Ireland. The Romans referred to Ireland as Scotia. Ptolemy, the great geographer and mathematician, said sixteen nations inhabited Ireland in 100 AD.

From 100 AD to 600 AD these kingdoms went to war with each other. In the beginning of the 7th century a high king of Ireland emerged. People considered this high king to be a living god. The first high king in legend is said to be Sláine mac Dela (mac meaning “son of”). High kings ruled Ireland until 1198 AD. The most famous of these high kings is Brian Boru who ruled 1002-1014 AD. In the early medaieval times, a high king had to look perfect, so when Congal Cáech was supposedly blinded by bees he had to step down. Truthfully, high kings likely started in the 600s AD, but legend says they did in ancient times long before the Roman empire. Each region had a king that took orders from the high king who ruled from the Hill of Tara.

The brehons acted as lawyers enforcing the Behon laws. The Brehon laws, although adapted over time, kept the Irish in line until the late 1600s. Canon law made some definite changes as Christianity permeated Ireland. The Brehon law showed an Irish caste system. A lot was about property law, rights, and duties. Brehon law stated women were equal to men, and women could be brehon lawyers. Still, the Irish were patriarchal. In 697, a Christian law tried to raise the status of Irish women. Either way, Irish women overall had it a lot better than women in continental Europe at the time. Marriage laws were incredibly complicated. Divorce laws stated one could divorce if impotent, her husband was homosexual, or if her husband hit her and left a mark. Unfortunately, under westerm Catholic church law women were banned from giving testimony.

In 431 AD, Bishop Palladius entered Ireland to Christianize it before Saint Patrick. Patrick arrived in 432 AD. Saint Patrick was born in northwest England. As a teenager, he was kidnapped by Irish pirates and sold into slavery in Ireland. In his twenties, after walking hundreds of miles, he stowed away on a boat and went back to England. He returned, an older man, when he became a bishop to Christianize the Irish. The Druid religion collapsed because of them although not everyone at the time became Christian and many were burnt alive for not converting, not by Palladius or Patrick, but in centuries after. Christianity brought Ireland a demand for sculptures, metalworking, and manuscript illuminations none more famous in the world than the Book of Kells which can be viewed today in Trinity College Dublin’s Old Library.

In the 9th century, the gruesome Vikings invaded Ireland, raiding towns and monasteries killing everyone in sight. Warfare was going on between the Irish during Viking invasions as well. However, it is the Vikings that established: Dublin, Limerick, Waterford, Wexford, and Cork.

On May 1, 1169 Welsh and Norman troops landed in modern day Wexford County led by the famous archer Richard de Clare of Kent, England. In 1171, King Henry II of France, with blood ties to England, arrived in Ireland to see how well the “taking over Ireland” was going. In 1175 Irish kings were pushed to accept Henry as their own overlord in the Treaty of Windsor which was supported by the Church’s 1155 Papal Bull Laudabiliter issued by Pope Adrian IV for Henry to take over Ireland so that Ireland’s financial and administration would be integrated into the Roman Church. The bull could be a forgery though.

Slowly through the late 1100s and through the 1200s the Brehonic laws died out and the fuedal system came about. Ireland had a Parliament by 1297.

Irish elites and Norman elites married, but the Norman settlements in Ireland dwindled because of the Bubonic Plague. The Irish parliament wanted to preserve Irish blood and so in 1367 they passed the Statues of Kilkenney which demanded English subjects speak only English and follow English laws and customs. The success paid off and eventually (although with some Norman influence) Irish culture and language grew.

In 1542 the misogynstic, head chopping wives, Henry VIII, called himself King of Ireland and the Tudors took over most of Ireland. By the beginning of the 1600s England ruled Ireland completely as Irish earls fled to mainland Europe and the Irish lost Tyrone’s Rebellion. Occurring during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, she sent more troops into Ireland to crush the rebellion (18,000 men) than into any other battle or war in her times. During this time, the English and Scottish took over farmlands in southern, central, and especially northern Ireland (modern day North Ireland), but not so much western and eastern Ireland. One could call this time Irish genocide as 20,000 Irish soldiers died on the battlefield protecting their beloved Ireland and 200,000 Irish (many women and children). Another 50,000 were sent to be indentured servants in the West Indies. The Catholics (men) were deprieved of equal rights and could no longer sit in Parliament. In 1740, a famine hit that starved 1/8th the population. Charities and the wealthy did what they could to help as many as possible. In 1782, Ireland won back her legislative independence. In 1803, Robert Emmott tried and failed to rebel against England and make Ireland entirely free. He was only 25 when he was captured. Emmett’s attorney was bought, but McNally’s assistant Peter Burrows refused to be bought and tried his best to defend Emmett. Emmett’s speech before his sentence is one of the most famous. On September 20, 1803 he was hanged, drawn, and quartered. He is hailed a hero with a stamp made of him in 1953.

Ireland was passed over by the Industrial Revolution because it didn’t have iron and coal, and because England saw Ireland as its agricultural capital. The Great Famine of 1845 to 1851, when potatoes were blighted, starved a million Irish and another two million left to Canada and the United States, although many never made the voyage across the Atlantic. For decades, civil unrest occurred across Irish. A fifth of Ireland either died or left between 1845 and 1851. The population continued to decline until 1961, with most going to the United States. It wasn’t until 2006, County Leitrim recorded a rise in population since 1841.

Irish nationalism, especially amongst the Catholics, increased in the 19th and 20th centuries. Although Daniel O’Connell couldn’t take his seat in Parliament because was Catholic, he won and eventually convinced the Prime Minister to repeal the discriminatory act towards Catholics. He went head to head with the lawyer William Saurin who discriminated Catholics, and who was the most influential man in Dublin administration 1810s and 1820s. John D’Esterre challenged O’Connell to a duel, and O’Connell killed him. O’Connell suffered likely PTSD from killing a man and leaving his wife and daughter impoverished. D’Esterre’s wife refused regular payments from O’Connell, but did accept her daughter to take them. He paid her 30 years until he died, and mentioned through his life how much that duel haunted him. Debate is up to how much he helped Catholics, and exactly how much discrimination was going on at the time. In fact, I’m not sure if O’Connell was responsible for getting Catholics back in Parliament, but I can say he did play a role.

In 1913, the Ulster Volunteers formed so that Catholics wouldn’t overtake Ireland (then a part of Great Britain). They were terrorists. In 1914 the Irish Volunteers, the Catholic posse formed.

Ireland went to war in WWI, although some Irish wanted to remain neutral. 1916, Easter week, Ireland rose up against British occupation with the National Volunteers and the Irish Citizen Army fighting for Irish independence. The leaders were executed by firing squad (15) and hanging (1) May 3rd through May 12th, but their rebellion and execution set off a wave of Irish pride in the people. They were, in order of execution dates, Patrick Pearse age 36, the handsome Thomas MacDonagh age 38, Thomas Clarke age 58, who spent 15 years in English prisons, Joseph Plunkett age 28, William Pearse (Patrick’s brother) age 34, Edward Daly age 25, Michael O’Hanrahan age 39, John MacBride age 47, Éamonn Ceannt age 34, Michael Mallin age 41, Seán Heuston age 25, Con Colbert age 27, Colbert had a no fucks given look if the pic I found was taken when he was a prisoner and was glad to die for the cause, James Connolly age 47, and Seán Mac Diarmada age 33 and also handsome.

In 1919, the Irish gained their independence. The Dáil Éiran (Parliament) was set up in 1919. The Volunteers became the IRA and led a guerilla war in Northern Ireland until 1922. In 1921, it was decided North Ireland would remain part of the United Kingdom.

 

Through the 1920s and 1940s, the Irish government went through a series of changes. During WWII, Ireland remained neutral, but did offer assistance to the Allies. Still, around 50,000 Irish fought with the British troops. Post WWII, large amounts of Irish left again many for America.

Starting in 1987, Irish economy increased, and the 1990s were a great time. In 2000, Ireland was the 6th richest country. The fun ended 2008. In the early partof this century, the Irish started to leave the Catholic Church, and its numbers have gone down. In 2012, 14% of Irish were unemployed.

Ireland has 32 counties:

Antrim
Armagh
Carlow
Cavan
Clare
Cork
Derry
Donegal
Down
Dublin
Fermanagh
Galway
Kerry
Kildare
Kilkenny
Laois
Leitrim
Limerick
Longford
Louth
Mayo
Meath
Monaghan
Offaly
Roscommon
Sligo
Tipperary
Tyrone
Waterford
Westmeath
Wexford
Wicklow

Today, 80 million people around the world have Irish heritage. 36 million Americans are Irish American with more learning their Irish ancestry every day.

Ireland is very well known for its Irish step dancing, music, and legends. Nobody in the world has revolutionized Irish dancing more so than Michael Flatley who is Irish American (dual citizenship). Irish music has a lot of rhythm. It also has instruments that are native and special to Ireland such as the bouzouki and the bodhrán. Mischievous, downright naughty fairies, nasty little leprechaun who love gold, banshees, and Finn MacCool and the knowledgeable salmon, merrows and sherries are just some of the creatures out of Irish folklore.

Some famous Irish are: Enya, Colin Farrell, Gabriel Byrnes, and many more playwrights, poets and actors. The fighter Conor McGregor is also hugely popular in Ireland.

So much more can be said on modern Ireland. I hope you have enjoyed this journey on Irish history and her people.

#CourtToo #AgenciesToo #DoctorsToo

Now, is the time for women’s rights. It is March. A time to remember women both modern, past, and even ancient from Saint Jadwiga to Jeanne D’Arc to Susan B. Anthony to my cousin who I am most proud of, but won’t name here. We have a long way to go before we as a people understand that the adoption industry has used nothing but lies, deceit, manipulation, and propaganda to make women and girls fork over babies by the millions. The adoption industry is a multibillion dollar industry that is loosely regulated, has no credentials, no oversight, and has fewer regulations than our nation’s real estate industry.

It may sound like a bold statement but I can guarantee with absolute certainty that 100% of infant adoptions involve lies, deceit, manipulation, and the subtle coercive language practices used by private adoption lawyers and adoption agencies in order to lure girls and women away from their babies. Let the facts speak for themselves through my article You Were Likely Subtly Coerced Out of Your Baby, with the list being published on the coercion tactics by Origins Canada and Concerned United Birthparents. Let the facts also speak for themselves through Saving Our Sisters. Want to call yourself a feminist? You can’t without being a member. We go to head to head with the corruption found in the abortion, and especially, adoption empires. 97% of women and girls who first start out thinking they can’t keep this child, they don’t deserve to keep their child, that adoption will give the child a much happier life (it won’t), end up keeping their babies. Not only keeping, but checking up on them later down the road in years proves these girls and women flourish. And all it take is $600. $600 to keep a family preserved. Ask yourself why people spend $38,000 on a baby to adopt, but won’t give a pregnant mother merely $600 to keep her child. If that doesn’t show you evidence I don’t know what will.

Women of the past were subjected to even worse abuse. From being told they are nothing but a vessel to having their vaginas knifed open as painful and terrible reminders of childbirth before marriage (and I do not mean episiotomies) to being handcuffed to beds, women who had to nanny other people’s children as punishment but couldn’t keep their own, the list continue. It is not the adoptee that is the painful reminder, much to the chagrin of NOW, ACLU, and other groups who advocate for the discrimination of adopted women, it is the subjective abuse these women endured by the hands of doctors, nurses, mothers, fathers, family members of other sorts, Jewish temples, Catholic churches, Mormon temples, Lutheran churches, unwed mother homes, and the list goes on. Women, especially in Ireland, who were blamed for being raped and then had their babies taken away or the eight hundred babies and countless women and little girls who died in Ireland from lack of medical care due to punishment for unwed pregnancy including in rape cases and this went on until 1996. This is an international women’s problem from the US to Canada to Britain to Ireland to Spain to Israel to Greece and other nations.

That leads me to the cause I want to bring up, the movement I want to awaken. Boy oh boy, we need a movement. #Courttoo. #Agenciestoo #Doctorstoo These need to become viral hashtags. Ones people can see when they walk down Times Square or flip open a magazine. After interviewing hundreds of brave mothers of adoption loss, I have names of judges, lawyers, and doctors who were involved in the kidnapping of babies that they placed for adoption (or more so sold into the adoption industry; ie Baby Scoop Era and even modern times). A friend of mine, who I will not name here, had her son kidnapped by a judge and the judge’s girlfriend. My friend acted within her legal means to decide to keep her son after learning the truth about adoption and it’s negative effects on the psychological well being of the adoptee, the first parents, the kept siblings, and more. The adoptoraptor got her judge friend to have the police forcefully take away baby while my friend was in the middle of feeding him! This has been a years long battle now. This judge also, it has come to light, been involved in another kidnapping. My friend is gag ordered and can’t talk at all about the kidnapping of her son.

Here is the problem and let me put it out there for you in black and white.

If a child is kidnapped we all pray for the child to come home.

If a child is kidnapped through adoption we all pray the child stays with the kidnapper claiming the “birthmother” must be a drug addict and “well, they’ve already formed a bond.”

Slapping the word adoption in front of something illegal doesn’t make it adoption, and it doesn’t make it right.

But isn’t most adoption done with deceit, lies, and manipulation anyway? Yes. It’s legal when it shouldn’t be. Let’s take a look at some examples I have written about before.

*Mothers of adoption loss are lied to and told that an open adoption is legally enforceable and will remain open.

*Mothers of adoption loss are lied to and told a closed adoption will allow them to move on and they will forget their child. (*Take note here ACLU, adoptees conceived in rape are not painful reminders, their mothers are reminded by the audacious occassion whether or not they are there and it’s not the foetus or child that is the painful reminder but the unwelcomed penis shoved up into you. A little bold to say but after a multitude death threats sent to my friend Jen Christie Brierly and her rape conceived three year old son I’ve had it, you have no right to speak on behalf of women who endured rape and silence the women who have who became loving mothers through it). It is literally impossible to forget your child.

*A girl as young as thirteen can go to an adoption agency and without legal representation, give away her baby without any trusted adult in her life knowing. I don’t know about you but if a little seventh grade girl needs permission for a cough drop from school nurse, she should have at least her older sister or someone there, better yet teaching her family preservation (which is not a knock on divorced families, it merely means avoiding the unnecessary adoption and abortion industries. Like I mentioned, 97% are rescued from them by Saving Our Sisters, which you can join on Facebook or through Concerned United Birthparents’ webpage.

*A father in Utah and South Carolina can lose all legal rights to his child even if he has signed the original birth certificate and is law abiding, just because the mother of the child dumped the baby or thought adoption was a good idea through subtle coercion.

*Adoption agencies are notorious, like the one in Syracuse, for claiming that the lawyer they are paying for is representing the mother of adoption loss. This is significantly a problem because it shows the lack of law taught in high schools and undergraduate degrees where women and teenage girls would be smart and know they are being used. A lawyer cannot be paid by one party and represent another party.

There is a loop. A legal but immoral, not legal, ever changing, state by state depending, let’s make it so hard to figure out the spaces in the loop by varying state laws (please see my article Natural Mothers Do Not Get Time to Think It Over) multibillion dollar well oiled machine here. You slap my back, I’ll slap yours, and we’ll smile over coffee about this. Judges in bed with lawyers, lawyers in bed with doctors, and let’s all lie to the survivors, so that once we have their child there’s nothing they can do, and nothing their adopted out grown up child can do to really publically voice their rights as certain state Congressmen (actually they’re not men) want to cover ass for their judge friends or hide some big shot who got a teenage girl pregnant.

This goes far beyond deception. It goes to the point of kidnapping.  Illegal adoption is kidnapping. Legal adoption is legalized human trafficking. You make $12 billion in 2012, $15 billion in 2016, you remove a person from their Mother without their permission,  you price Black babies lower than White babies. Isn’t it funny how once Australia took the money out of adoption, domestic infant adoptions dropped by 95%? Nobody wants to be involved when money isn’t involved.  The paradigm shift from the 1950s-1960s to today doesn’t change this fact. Telling us women, it happened long ago, or just be thankful you or your child found a loving home, doesn’t change the fact women were handcuffed to beds their babies forcibly taken from them, Jewish women were drugged up and told their babies were stillborn only to be sold to the highest Christian bidder, and other stories that need to come to light.

Here is where we need to no longer be afraid. Over power the overpowered.

#Courtoo #Agenciestoo #Doctorstoo

Knowing my own adoption, and this is supported by my adoptive Mother, was 100% unnecessary -due to the severe lack of support and emotional abuse my natural mother endured- I can say #agenciestoo.

I hope this all makes each and every one of you reading this stronger women, and for men stronger supporters of women, and I hope this March we can give recognition to the brave mothers of adoption loss who have spoken out about their abuse and the heroic women, some literally not afraid to go to jail like Sandy Musser, to equal rights of adopted women, adopted girls, and like myself, strong advocates of major reform in the industry basically by scraping it and starting all over.

It is my hope that more mothers of adoption loss, and fathers, come forward and speak about the pressure, lies, deceit, manipulation, and especially outright corruption and abuse that happened to them. The more and more mothers speak up, the more the corrupt lawyers and judges will not be able to reign power over their heads any longer. Is America not a democratic nation? Or is a modern court of Henry VIII? I have the list. I have a good, long list of corrupt agent workers, judges, and lawyers but these aren’t my stories to tell. The women themselves have to be the ones to come forward. I have said for years these women, who endured much psychological abuse, need to take their stories collectively to the Hague and the UN.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why we must take the money out of adoption like Australia did. Turn it into a completely voluntary job because once we take the money out, we eliminate the corruption and manipulation tactics. Right now, individual women are so scared to go against this multibillion dollar industry with its powerful million dollar lawyers. I just hope more step up. All it takes is one voice to start a cause.

As for my friend, while she was gag ordered to speak against the forced “adoption” of her son, there are many speaking out for her, and one day that little boy will grow up and will learn the truth, and he will come back home.

(Note: This in no way is to say that psychopaths or those more interested in their drugs or other bad habits don’t exist. There are plenty of babies, and children, who have been saved by adoption but even in these cases out of family adoptions should be avoided as they are deemed mostly unnecessary and the effort should be put in for the child to remember her roots and keep her original paperwork who must be removed from their biological families due to abuse and neglect. Again, the actual statistics, provided by Concerned United Birthparents, on necessary domestic out of family infant adoptions is miniscule in comparison to the industry’s blatantly propagandistic theories).

 

 

Born Between 1924 and 1980 and Adopted? Then You Likely Were Kidnapped! How the Birthparent Privacy Myth was Created.

This pertains to those in the United States and Canada. Ireland that date goes as late as 1996, and I will discuss Ireland at a later point in time. I’m sure reading the title and thinking, my mother was born in 1950 and is adopted and then hearing the word kidnapped has to make you lean a little closer in your seat. I’m going to be honest. Origins Canada wrote an important article explaining how all, yes all, women and girls are subtly coerced out of their babies even to this day, and it’s a good read for anyone whether they are Canadian or American, as it happens here in the United States too. It’s not outright kidnapping anymore, oh wait yes that does still happen at times, but the subtle coercive tactics and propaganda used don’t make it right. This article discusses the kidnappings of 1924 to 1950. However, the Baby Scoop Era, depending on which state or province you’re from, lasted until around 1972 to around 1980.

According to Dr. Martha Stout, psychiatrist one in twenty five Americans is a sociopath or psychopath, properly called anti social personality disorder. Georgia Tann was a psychopath. She looked like a dear lady with that unseeming smile, but that’s how psychopaths work; with plenty of charm. It didn’t help either that her father was a judge.

Georgia Tann first started working for the Mississippi Children’s Home Society where she  falsified adoption records. Nothing was done about this. Children were being adopted out to even Texas, and only one family sued the Children’s Home Society but Tann’s father being Judge Tann she never was punished.

With her thirst for power, Georgia Tann ran the Tennessee Children’s Home Society from 1924 until 1950. Tann and her accomplices including Judge Camille Kelley of Memphis (where 20% of Tennessee’s black market, in other words illegal adoptions occurred through her court room) kidnapped over five thousand children, and killed five hundred children through poor care. So how were they able to kidnap and murder so many children?

A. Bribing doctors to take away babies from women to give to rich couples.

B. Lying to women and saying their baby was born stillborn. This commonly happened to Jewish women and babies were sold into Christian families with many of the Christians not knowing the truth.

C. Falsfying records.

D. Not getting permission from both original parents (oh wait that’s still done in parts of America).

E. Kidnapping children left home alone when their “Mother popped round to the grocery store”.

F. Kidnapped out of preschools and daycare centres.

G. Kidnapped older children right off the street and told the children their parents died.

Georgia Tann was hugely responsible for creating the birthparent privacy myth, sealing adoption records and original birth certificates as they never were sealed before, and making the birthparent privacy myth that still is an infestation in modern society. Lana Turner, Pearl S. Buck (who coined the term birthmother to objectify women), June Allyson, Joan Crawford, and Senator Lehman were just some of the people who bought babies through Georgia Tann.

Senator Lehman after buying two children from kidnapper Georgia Tann signed the bill that Tann pushed to create evil, vicious closed adoptions in New York State. New York State was not the only state.

Tann has created a national disaster that has wreaked havoc for generations physically, mentally, and financially. It is my hope that Americans, and Canadians, can learn the damage done in order to unravel it.

Canadians* please see Butterbox Babies- Nova Scotia.

PS. Most of the babies kidnapped under Tann were blonde hair, blue eyed babies.

For more information The Baby Thief by Barbara Raymond and the made for TV 1993 movie “Stolen Babies” featuring Mary Tyler Moore.

The Happy Bee Mommies.

Happy bee mommies is a term coined by those of us who are out of the adoption fog. Happy bee mommy are first mothers who are still very much in the fog of adoption and praising adoption. Praising it to the point they find adoption and the adoption industry to be perfect or nearly perfect, and often promote it. Happy Bee Mommies is a play on words for birthmom.

You’ll come across this women. Unknowing or knowing victims of the adoption industry’s use and propaganda. So, who exactly is a happy bee mommy and why do these  first mothers exist?

Many girls and women who are in a crisis pregnancy are lured in with the fallacy of open adoption. They can have letters, photos, and visitations to their child. Add to this the fact that girls as young as 13 can see an adoption agency worker without any adult in her life knowing she’s pregnant and knowing she’s planning on giving away her baby. If you think that is bad enough, adoption agencies tend to lie to pregnant moms and tell them that the lawyer they are paying for represents her. A lawyer cannot be paid by one group and stand up for the rights of another. So, basically these mothers have no true legal representation. They meet potential adoptive parents, who typically act superficially super nice, and constantly email and text them. Along with this the pregnant mother is bombareded with adoption propaganda and the potential adoptive couple pay for everything from her room and board, to her medical expenses, and sometimes even part of her college tuition. It is all done to guilt trip her incase she backs out. They remind her, many times, that they are so happy to have her in their lives and that it’ll remain open.

So, the adoption goes through. The adoptive parents, in one final attempt of making sure she doesn’t back out, are there at the birth so there is no true alone bonding time. The mother, now with intense depression, goes back to college but feels she is too depressed to continue her classes. The agency “supports” her with more adoption agency propaganda, which I will heavily get into the linguistic practices used by the adoption industry to lure mothers out of their babies.

Then, either one of two things happens. Let’s use three examples. All names are random and completely made up. These stories do not represent actual people, but these stories represent that cases just like this do happen.

Sally was 17. Sally gave away her baby for adoption (duped by the adoption industry propaganda of “placing her baby with a family”) because of her parents’ very religious ties and was terrified with what they would think. Being a child, nobody in the family knew she was pregnant as Sally was always a little chubby and the baby was born in January in Michigan so Sally easily covered herself up. The adoption agency never once told her to try and solve it with her parents. Sally was told by the Bensons’ that they will remain in contact.  After six months, Sally learned through Saving Our Sisters on Facebook that open adoptions are not legally enforceable and that most close. Since hearing this, Sally has always promoted adoption on her social media and happily said yes to anything the Bensons’ want to do, in hopes that she doesn’t become a statistic of open to closed adoption like 75% of victims are (I do take into account those whose open adoptions close because they are doing drugs or are too self centered in their lives to even care to come over and visit, but most of the 75% are closed for reasons like jealousy and lying all along. We will get into closed adoptions, how they are abusive, and why not to close them even when the first parent is unsafe in another article). Whatever the Bensons’ want to do, Sally will happily agree with it. She now has learned she has to walk on eggshells. Sally also eventually told her parents, and while upset at first, they are now more grieve striken that their granddaughter isn’t living with them. Four years go by and Mrs. Benson doesn’t want “her child to get confused” so the Bensons’ ask Sally if she’s already with cutting down their visitations to just once a season, and Sally makes up and excuse of, “oh, that works so much better for me.” Sally will do anything the Bensons’ want in order to keep the adoption open.

Rebekah was 28. Being out of a job, and being prolife, Rebekah was always wrongly taught that adoption is the answer to abortion. She was engaged to her baby’s father, but Roy up and left her for another. Rebekah wanted an open adoption after learning that closed adoptees have very high anxiety, depression, and suicide rates and knew it was wrong to cut off a person from their biological roots. Rebekah is Jewish and went through a Jewish adoption agency. The adoption agency, like so many others (Jewish, Christian, secular) said the lawyer they were paying for was representing her (which is impossible). The Rosenbergs’ adopted her baby girl. Rebekah has no idea that open adoptions can, and mostly do close. The Rosenbergs’ have been great people and keep the adoption very open. Rebekah lives in Manlius while the Rosenberg’s live in the swanky part of Syracuse. They get together every weekend, often celebrating shabbos together with Rebekah’s family and their family. Today, her little girl that was adopted out is seven years old. The little girl is very well aware of everything. Rebekah strongly promotes open adoption to other pregnant moms experiencing an unplanned pregnancy or a planned pregnancy where things go badly because Rebekah has no idea that most potential adoptive parents are nothing like the Rosenbergs. Rebekah unknowingly is helping a loosely regulated, uncredentialed multi billion dollar industry lure women and girls out of their babies that will more than likely go to homes where the open adoption closes by the time the child is of kindergarten age. Nearly all, for reasons of lying all along, self centeredness, etc.

Now, let’s look at a closed adoption.

Saphina “chose” a closed adoption for her twin sons. She was told that the closed adoption would make her forget all about the babies and would let her move on. This is mentally impossible. Saphina came to the adoption agency because she wanted her unborn sons to be safe, away from their abusive father and her abusive husband. After all, Saphina is in the United States illegally. The adoption agency has offered no help for Saphina and her unborn sons to remain together. They know Saphina is returning home to her husband who beats her, and they have given her pamphlets to read inside the adoption agency about going to a domestic violence shelter but being illegal and enduring years of psychological abuse she is too afraid to go. Never once do the adoption agency workers mention helping all three of them stay together and find safety. Saphina says she loves her sons, whom she has named, but she doesn’t want her bad husband to find them. After all, Saphina is not showing yet and she has tricked him by contuining to buy tampons and putting red dye on them. Saphina feels so ashamed of herself that she got into this mess, that she wants to forget all about it. The agency has told her that a closed adoption will ensure that she does. Saphina eventually, fortunately, did escape her bad husband (and it took SWAT team to get her out of the house). Saphina now has a huge hole in her heart, and learned that closed adoption never needed to happen. Saphina’s emotions are so strong when it comes to losing her sons that she has numbed herself with the comments “adoption is great” “I freely chose adoption”. Saphina on the outside acts like adoption is a blessing, on the inside Saphina is screaming.

Why Brian Moe is Just an Awesome Person and Why Everyone Should be Like Him.

It’s 2am in the morning. Don’t yell at me if my grammar isn’t perfect. Also, WordPress mostly never let’s me copy and paste in links to show proof of anything I write. If you want proof for anything I write here, or in another article just message me, and I am happy to provide it.

So, who is Brian Moe? Why is he awesome? Why should you strive to be like him? Well, he’s a friend of mine and considering the fact I’ve only ever written about one other person on this blog, Sandy Musser who is the modern day Susan B Anthony who literally went to prison for adoptee equality, he’s made enough waves to make it to this blog. Brian is a composer, pianist, dancer, entertainer, singer, and studied psychology. Why is he awesome and why should you strive to be like Brian?

Well, let’s get to the answers by telling a back story. Brian and I both come from discriminated groups of people. Brian is gay. I am a closed adoptee. When it comes to gay rights here are some of the things the LGBT population has fought for/endured/continuining to fight for/continuing to abolish or change depending on what is listed and depending on the country they live in:

  1. Not being automatically labelled a paedophile. Being gay in America in the 1950s was an automatic assumption you were after little boys.
  2. Not going to Alcatraz for being gay. Everyone knows Alcatraz was where the worst criminals went. Yet did you know for a time some of the prisoners in Alcatraz were there only because they were gay?  They weren’t criminals at all.
  3. Not being chemically castrated (see Imitation Game).
  4. Still executed. Sadly, in parts of Asia and Africa gay people are still executed usually by being thrown off of buildings or hanged.
  5. Workplace discrimination.
  6. Gay conversion “therapy”. Oh, that’s right the moron who invented this has a son who is still gay. Maybe it’s time to realize the man is either a) a closeted homosexual or b) doing this purely out of profit.
  7. Housing discrimination.
  8. Marriage equality. We can sit and argue all day about “The Bible says”. Well, there’s a huge difference between the Old and New Testaments. Read your Old Testament, Abraham sex slave (read concubine) had 17 sons by him. Not his wife. His brood mare. King David had concubines, again sex slaves. Read the story of Lot and his daughters. And yes, I believe in God but we’re not going there.
  9. Giving blood. So hold up hold up. Brian being a gay male can’t give blood. Yet I being a closed adoptee and being female can give blood. Us closed adoptees are denied our biological family medical information, including in life or death situations, and yes this has killed adoptees. Even if the first parents want to give it the adoption agencies can refuse to (read A Hole in My Heart by Lorraine Dusky, Hillside of Rochester you’re a bag of dicks for refusing to pass along medical information to adoptive parents and a paediatrician when a fricking 5 year old was having epileptic seizures). This means we have adoptees who are donating blood who have no idea whether or not they have any problems with their blood that could be passed along. Furthermore, because of late discovery adoptions a lot of people have no idea they’re adopted until well into adulthood. My biological paternal aunt found me last year only because she discovered in her fifties she is half adopted and that was the only reason she took a DNA test, which led to me because she thought I had been aborted. This is how much our government wants to play pretend. They assume every gay man is an irresponsible whorebag who had AIDS, and they pretend that all adoptees are the biological kin of their adoptive families.
  10. Jury Selection. Until 2011, gay people could be refused to serve on a jury for being gay.
  11. Street kids. I have volunteered with gay street kids. They were in the shelter and I was appalled by their treatment including by the owner of the shelter and that’s all I will say.
  12. Foster care youth. Gay kids in foster care have elevated rates of abuse.
  13. Violence. Domestic violence occurs in 1/5 households. It’s an epidemic in America that goes ignored. It goes even more ignored in same sex households. Aside from this, gay people are more likely to experience violence from straight people.
  14. Suicide. As I’ve said in a previous article, adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide and this doesn’t change if they are adopted at birth. The suicide rates of adoptees are so high because of discrimination and rejection by their biological families. Trust me, because I know personally, you can’t even imagine the hell being a closed adoptee that is ignored by their biological family is but I do thank God that my biological aunt literally found me through a miracle and is a blessing in my life, but enough about me back to Brian and the case of gay rights. LGBT (I keep saying gay rights because I’m tired and doing a massive yawn) people have higher rates of suicide as well. It’s the same reason again. Discrimination. Rejected by their family. I think society has to realize that moving in with nice people or being with friends who love you is sometimes not enough for some. I wish it were, but it’s not. A person who is male, gay, and adopted has such an outrageously high chance of attempting, or worse yet, committing suicide that I feel as preventative measure they should work with a therapist they can connect with. This is a skeleton in the closet we need to deal with.
  15. Teaching people it isn’t a choice. British gay men could go to prison or be chemically castrated. Men and women today who are gay or lesbian in parts of Africa are being executed. Obviously it’s not a choice.
  16. That not all gay people think alike. One gay man in a parade may decide to wear a neon green speedo. Another gay man may find this very distateful.
  17. That one gay person doing something bad doesn’t mean all are. I saw a video on Facebook that was just awful. A drag queen at a children’s beauty pageant with young children. The drag queen was spreading their legs on the ground and shaking their ass. I was disgusted by this drag queen and by the mothers that were all into it taking photos as little children were watching or running around. The comments below were bad too. Making comments that all drag queens must find this enjoyable. Making comments that “we must protect our children from the gays”.  I can guarantee you that 99% of drag queens and gay men would think all of the morons in that video should’ve been imprisoned for child abuse charges.
  18. Repealing don’t ask, don’t tell.
  19. Murder due to homophobia which is a major problem in Uganda.

As you see Brian comes from a group of people that have made strides in their equality but still are not finished. Brian doesn’t discriminate people. He doesn’t believe people deserve inequality because they are a certain race, religion, nationality, sexuality, gender, disability, or because they are adopted.

Yet, unfortunately there are three LGBT members in positions of power, two gay men and one lesbian, who do believe that adoptees don’t deserve equality. I wish I could give their names but I will say one is a lawyer and senator, one is a lawyer and ethics professor (because let’s have someone who doesn’t believe in equality for a group of people teach ethics) and one is a senator. All are openly gay. These three people come from the group of discriminated people that Brian comes from. Yet, these three gay people in positions of power believe that us adoptees don’t deserve the following:

A. Our original, real birth certificate that has our original name and biological family surnam(e) on it. Birthparent privacy, a sugarcoated way of asking one person to be the dirty secret of another person, is a myth because the original birth certificate isn’t sealed until the adoption is finalized, so if a baby is given away for adoption but ends up growing up in foster care he keeps his original birth certificate making privacy null and void. The only reason why New York State sealed original birth certificates is because the child kidnapper Georgia Tann spread the lie of birthparent privacy and Senator Lehman bought two kids off of her.

B. Our biological family medical information for the sake of our health and our children.

C. To not be dirty secrets. We keep hearing “if the mother doesn’t want to be found”. Ignoring, rejecting, not wanting to be found makes the adoptee responsible for their own conception. We are not responsible for someone else’s problem. The three of these people, along with many others, refuse to look at the fact that in the past unmarried pregnant women were told things like: you’ll go to hell if you tell anyone, your husband will leave you if he finds out, my new neighbour actually told she’s an adoptee and came to learn she’s Jewish and that biological members of her family had violent threats against them if they told anyone that someone in the family got pregnant before marriage, they were told they are just the vessel, and other forms of verbal abuse that still continue through the adoption industry that I’ll write at length about one day.

D. To change the adoption industry because it’s uncredentialed, has no oversight, is loosely regulated, and profited $15 billion dollars last year.

E. For all adoptees to be allowed passports.

And any other form of adoptee discrimination I’ve spoken about here.

These are three openly gay people who want to make it that it’s first mothers vs. their adoptee out children. In fact, one of these senators is demanding that biological siblings don’t even get together  with their adopted out sibling because it’ll mean the kept son or daughter will inquire to their mother if she gave a baby away for adoption. As I’ve stated in a previous article, nowhere in psychology do we find it healthy to run away and hide from your problems, so why are we make an excuse when it comes to adoption?

It’s a sad state of affairs when people who are discriminated for their sexuality turn on another group of discriminated people and hurt them (and you can read about this type of behaviour in the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl).

You see this is why I like Brian Moe, not only as a friend but as a person. Because too many people today only care about their group of discriminated people. When a person comes from a discriminated group of people, or people who were discriminated then they should be smart enough to want to help other groups of discriminated people, not make their lives awful. Brian cares about all people. This is why he is awesome and you should strive to be like him.

 

 

The Problem With No Contact Preference and Redactions on Original Birth Certificates.

Provinces and states are, very, very, very, very slowly starting to unseal original birth certificates. New York still hasn’t and it’s been over eighty years. Manitoba did a few years ago, Maine did quite a number of years ago, and more recently Vermont and New Jersey have. I need to reiterate myself again and say birth parent privacy does not exist for the following reasons:

A. The original birth certificate is not sealed until the adoption is finalized, so if a baby is given away for adoption he or she keeps his or her original birth certificate if he or she ends up growing up in foster care thus making privacy null and void.

B. Kansas and Alaska have never sealed original birth certificates, and Alabama only did for a few years, and the sky hasn’t fallen in those states (except when tornadoes happen).

I also need to remention the fact that psychopath and baby kidnapper, Georgia Tann, was hugely responsible for convincing states to seal original birth certifcate and spread the lie about birthparent privacy with New York being one of those states.

So, what’s the problem with the no contact preference or redactions like there is in Ontario, Manitoba, and New Jersey? First, let me mention that the vast majority of Canadian provinces and territories and nearly all US states still have sealed original birth certificates (which contain the real names of adoptees and the surname(s) of their biological family (-ies)). The problem is, and this is fact not opinion, nobody is wanting to address the severe emotional abuse, sometimes physical abuse, and mental health issues that first mothers had gone through during the pregnancy and during the adoption loss. First mothers have the highest rate of secondary infertility (1991 report by L.H Stiffler), some have vast amounts of children to make up for the lost child, ongoing grief, alarmingly high rates of PTSD and depression. Unless a first mother was a psychopath and/or a child abuser her mental health is going to suffer from losing her child to adoption. You have so many trying to save face and act like it’s no big deal because it’s their only way to feel that they have some sense of control.

Mental health is still very much stigmatized throughout the world. People think happiness is a choice and people with depression are choosing to be miserable. People think you can just stop being anxious as if there’s a simple on/off switch in your brain.

When it comes to mothers of adoption loss, the multibillion dollar loosely regulated, uncredentialed adoption industry has silenced the voices of first mothers (and even brainwashed some, young first mothers to be spokeswomen for them; usually the ones whose open adoptions actually remained open) and felt they can speak on their behalf.

Let’s take a necessary look at the history of adoption “relinquishment” in this country (USA) and other countries (Spain, France,  Italy, Greece, Canada,  the UK, Ireland, and Australia).

*We are allowing first mothers to veto an original birth certificate or ask for no contact yet some of these first mothers were told they will go to hell if they tell anyone about their adopted out child.

*We are allowing first mothers to veto an original birth certificate or ask for no contact yet some of these first mothers were blamed for the rape and unnecessarily carry the shame of the vile attack. I need to make it clear here. I have a friend with a three year old son who was conceived in rape. She is lucky to have survived, and I am thankful the serial killer who attacked her is now dead. I have learned from her that 75% of women who conceive in rape keep their babies. She loves her son very much. For those too psychologically damaged from the attack, we should look for someone else in the family to raise the child, and if nobody can, then we look for out of family legal guardianship. It’s time society stop blaming the attack on the children and this still includes visits at times. My friend’s happy, adorable, loving three year old is not at fault.

*We are allowing first mothers to veto an original birth certificate or ask for no contact yet nearly all of these first mothers have never had proper -away from adoption agencies- counseling and the ability to talk to knowledgeable first mothers in a support group like Concerned United Birthparents or speak to first mothers like Sandy Musser and Joyce Bahr. Politicians need to stop and really use their brain and this point. These are women who have been psychologically damaged, and who have been made to believe that their adopted out child will ruin their life. This blames the adoptee for his or her own very conception, and the circumstances that went around being given away for adoption. Nowhere else in the history of psychology is it appropriate to run away from your problems, and pass the baton of discrimination and emotional hurt onto your child who did nothing wrong. Hiding is not what is needed here, therapy is.

*We allow the adoption industry to silence the voices of first mothers and silence their minds with phrases such as: you can marry and go onto have children of your own, you’ll be so busy with life you’ll forget about the baby, remember you are just the vessel, it’s their baby not yours, first mothers who cry over their adopted out child are being selfish and not thinking about the happy life that child is having with his real parents, and other psychological abusive bullshit. Simply put, it is time to tell the adoption industry to shut the fuck up.

*We are allowing first mothers to veto an original birth certificate or say no contact but neglecting the fact that some of these women who got pregnant were threatened with having their jobs and good name taken away by the powerful men who got them pregnant such as their boss or the mayor of a town (I’m giving mayor as an example, it may not be a direct example but my point is men in positions of power). These women still carry this unnecessary fear and shame, and need counselling not being able to discriminate their own child, cause their own child pain, and allow sexist horrible men (not saying all men, I am saying the ones who did this to them) to continue ruling over their brains.

*We are allowing first mothers to veto an original birth certificate or say no contact but ignoring the fact many, and this is not just in the 1950s but even in the 1990s, of these girls came from very religious families and were kicked out of their homes for getting pregnant. They had to go be live in nannies, where magically they could tend to other people’s children but were seen as too stupid to care for their own, or with family who would take them in who lived far away enough that nobody would see their protruding belly who knew their parents. They were deeply shamed and bullied, and then they were manipulated into being demanded they always spoke well of their parents. By allowing vetos and no contact we are allowing their parents, alive or deceased, to continue belitting, abusing, manipulating, bullying, and shaming them like they did decades ago when they were young even if the abuse is just continuing in the mind of the first mother. Please note in the 1960s and earlier a father could lose his job if his daughter got pregnant, so there were empathetic parents of the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s for girls and women who found themselves unexpectingly pregnant with nothing they could do about it because it would mean disaster for the whole family in those days. There were very, very few single mothers of those times because of the severe lack of women’s rights making it extremely difficult to be a single mother. Parents who kicked their daughters out past this era were just plain abusive and wanting to protect their image.

We allow first mothers to redact original birth certificates or say no contact yet some of these women are elderly and have dementia, and it’s their shocked kept children who are harmingly making these decisions for them out of ignorance of the problems of the adoption industry, ignorance of psychological well being, the fact us adoptees have been painted as commodity and not real people with real feelings by the adoption industry, or even pure immature jealousy.

We allow first mothers to redact original birth certificates or say no contact because their own abusive parents slammed them away into mental institutions for getting pregnant. Yes, America, there was a time when you were seen as crazy for getting pregnant before marriage. These women don’t need to be hiding away from their children, which only worsens their condition, they need to be helped and learn the psychiatrists and psychologists of the past were ignorant or frauds.

The point, ladies and gentlemen, is that a first mother unless she is a psychopath or a child abuser, does not move on from losing her child to adoption. A hole will always be in her heart from that loss. The elephant in the room, as I explained in a previous article, is the need for true psychological care and, perhaps even more importantly, a support group of first mothers by first mothers who are well educated on the abuse and problems of the adoption industry and adoption, and the need for adoption reformation such as Concerned United Birthparents. It’s important to avoid any “counselling” and “support groups” from adoption agencies as their agenda is only to further line their pockets and always make first mothers think adoption and the way adoption is done is perfect or near perfect.

Sealing original birth certificates, keeping original birth certificates sealed, asking for no contact with your adopted out adult child, asking for no contact with your adopted out child, allowing for redactions is never the answer. The answer is always authentic support and authentic counselling, none of which my own first mother (who absolutely was emotionally abused like millions of others) received. An original birth certificate belongs to us adoptees and must be given back to all of us, or the children of an adoptee if the adoptee is deceased. No contact is never the answer. Never. Contact may not happen over night, and for some years it may just be a twice a year letter, but the elephant in the room- mental health and past emotional abuse- must be acknowledged and properly addressed.

And a first mother or father, never has the right to tell other family members to ignore or unfriend their adopted out relative. An adoptee has a legal right to contact any biological kin that is eighteen or older. Another day I will speak about the truth of why biological kin who are children cannot be contacted. Another day I will get into the brainwashing, manipulative language the adoption industry and too many adopters use to silence adoptees who find reluctant, abusive, scared, or unempathetic biological family.

Abuse and the lack of women’s rights of the past is tied directly into adoption reunion disasters of today. These mothers deserve help.

Your Opinions Do Not Outweigh My Truths.

I have seen, over and over, that some (including some fogged adoptees) believe that their opinions outweigh my truths.  They aren’t just my truths, but truths for all. Or, more so, they believe that my counter argument is actually just my opinion. The truth of the matter is, I do not give out opinions. I give out facts.

It is a fact that women were handcuffed to hospital beds and their babies forcibly taken.

It is a fact that unmarried women, including rape victims, forcibly had their babies taken from them.

It is a fact that adoption agencies don’t have to pass along medical information even if the first parents ask them to.

It is a fact that birth parent privacy does not exist.

It is a fact that biological parents who don’t or didn’t want to be found are psychologically damaged.

It is a fact that adoption is not normal. Yes, in cases of child abuse children need to be removed from the home but the sealing of original birth certificates is still stupid.

It is a fact that all adoption begins in trauma.

It is a fact that forever family is a myth and around 25,000 adopted children in the US, many ELL students, are resold.

It is a fact that that most orphans in this world are not actually orphans.

It is a fact that some adoptees had their birthdates changed.

It is a fact that open adoption is not legally enforceable.

These are facts. These are not opinions. These are only the tip of the iceberg. To argue with facts is to be in refusal of truth.

 

 

Our Society is Really Screwed Up.

I’m really trying to avoid adoption talk until May. Trying. I need the break. The hell my biological maternal family has put me in has caused me numerous health problems. I was at the doctor today and actually mine was on vacation. The medical doctor I saw today happens to be an adoptee “too much toxicity they bring you” she says. Yes, we all could use therapy but nothing will help me until they get therapy. Until they realize their bullshit stinks and needs to change.

So, I’m not going to write a long one. I’m supposed to be namasteing and all that good stuff. Focusing on lowering my stress levels.

A closet is a very lonely home. Yet our society feels that adopted people belong in the closet. My own damn biological family members feel that I belong in the closet. Our society is really screwed up. There are so many adoptees who are brainwashed to believe they too belong in the closet.

People often wonder why I outed my biological mother, my uncles and others. Some don’t wonder they think I’m a terrible person.

I’m not.

Why did I do it?

  1. Because I am a person. No person belongs in a closet.
  2. For the good of my own biological mother. Who is learning, the hard way mind you, that everything she learned about adoption is wrong. Nothing good comes from hiding from your past, lying by ommittance, being lied to, being used (like she was), and more. If my biological mother is smart, she’ll learn I am actually helping her defog. That I did it out of love for her, my sisters, and for myself.
  3. Because real men don’t act like assholes and pretend their own kin doesn’t exist simply for being alive.

This is the problem with our society. When a mother or uncle or sister, for example, doesn’t want contact with their adopted out relative who found them we treat this no differently than a coworker who refuses to go on a date with another coworker. And it’s fucking preposterous. Sorry for the language but it really is. There is something seriously psychologically wrong with family members when they ignore or refuse contact with other family members simply for who they are.

And yes, damnit, I am a family member. I, nor any adoptee, should not be told “well you can’t force your way in.” There’s something sickening and psychologically deranged about a society that feels adoptees are no longer members of their biological family because time and a piece of paper changed who they grew up with. A piece of paper does not change DNA, and yes DNA does make a family.

Our society needs to change. That isn’t an opinion. That is a fact. People do not belong in closets. Adoptees, contrary to the belief of some, are humans.

Things need to change. People need to stop saying “Well, if a birthmom doesn’t want to be contacted or have her family contacted that should be respected.”

Horseshit it should. What needs to be said is, “Well, if a birthmom doesn’t want to be contacted it sounds like she’s blaming the conception on the adoptee or something is going on. Whatever it is, I hope she gets therapy. Not the adoptee’s fault.”

Some of the biggest people who need to shut up and wake up to this are my fellow adoptees. They go in walking on eggshells with the “well, I have to remain a secret if she wants it. That’s the polite thing I don’t want to disrupt her life.” Look, unless she is in abusive situation or from an Islamic country that would throw acid on her or execute her for premarital sex (which includes being raped) then please show a little respect for yourself. Refusing to stay in someone’s closet is not being disrespectful to them. My own biological mother might think I’m some terrible bitch. The only terrible bitches she actually knew where the people who didn’t support her to keep me, didn’t support to keep me in the family, and those who lied and said adoption is a good thing for me.

It is time for adoptees to take what nowadays is called a radical approach and outright refuse to be in anyone’s closet. And you know what? You don’t start a sentence with And. Okay, besides that you know what? Sometimes you have to force people to come out of their shell, to tell the truth about their past, otherwise they never do it, and they never heal. I hope any biological mother reading this becomes all the better, stronger, and wiser for it.

 

Yeah, stop fucking blaming us.

Sincerely,

the educated adoptees

 

Now, let me go namaste.

 

Why Aren’t Big Name Disease Research Companies Advocating for Adoptees?

All it should take for big named disease research companies like Epilepsy Foundation, Epilepsy Society, and the American Cancer Society to advocate for all adoptees and the children of adoptees to know their biological family health history is one email or one letter.

I know I’m not the only person to write to these companies. Many adoptees have, especially those who are battling a severe disease or disorder, like tonic clonic seizures  deadly form of epilepsy or cancer. Some cancers are not genetic, while some are, such as colon cancer. Seizures run in families.

This has nothing to do with doctor patient confidentiality. I explained this in 2016 to the American Board of Pediatrics in great detail and they still did not want to sign on. As I explained long ago in another article about first mother Lorraine Dusky’s biography about her daughter, adoption agencies do not gave to give out biological family medical information to their adopted out child or the adoptive parents even if a first (biological) parent asks them to, including in life or death situations. If you haven’t read A Hole in My Heart by Dusky yet you really need to, especially if you are from Rochester, NY. Lorraine’s adopted out daughter had epilepsy and was having grand mal seizures (now called tonic clonic seizures) by age five. Lorraine provided the information and Hillside refused to share it. The adoptive parents and the paediatrician asked for the biological family health history and Hillside lied and said they didn’t have it. Folks, this shit is still legal!

Yes, there are parents and grandparents out there, even in families not affected by adoption (or think they aren’t but we can get into late discovery adoption another day) who don’t want anyone knowing their health history. I get that. This goes beyond that. This is about approximately seven million American adoptees, plus internationally born adoptees, and their children and sometimes even their grandchildren (so long as children and grandchildren are the biological kin of the adoptee) who need and deserve their/our biological family health history and don’t have it.

You know who this also affects? The adoptive parents. My adoptive parents were lied to and were told they would get it. They never did. We didn’t know it until I started finding  family members.

It is discrimination for a person or their child or grandchild to not know his or her health risks that can be prevented because they are adopted. If a parent, biological or not, does not want to disclose their health information that is one thing and that is doctor/patient confidentiality. To allow adoption agencies to refuse to give life saving information or just general medical information is not doctor/patient confidentiality, but psychopathic behaviour.

Many states do not have a registry where first parents can fill in information or the adult aged siblings of the adoptee. Those states that do, well, first parents and adoptees are not told about them. You learn about them when you read blogs like this or join activist groups like Concerned United Birthparents or talk to first mothers like Lorraine Dusky and Joyce Bahr or Sandy Musser. Those that do have registries, and first mothers who do know about them were told in the past things like “this isn’t your child” “you are just the vessel” “you’re a whore” “you’ll go to hell if anyone finds out you had a baby before marriage” and many other phrases first mothers have told me, phrases used towards mothers of adoption loss in the USA, Ireland, and Australia. It leaves these mothers in dire need of psychological treatment.

You need to do more than reading blogs and comments on Facebook. You need to step in and do something for adoptees. You don’t have to be an adoptee to actually help adoptees. Write or email large named research organizations like Epilepsy Foundation, Epilepsy Society, The American Cancer Society, Brain and Behavior Research Founation, Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, and the American Heart Association to name a few and present to them the facts that you learned here. Tell them they need to start advocating for adoptees to know their biological family health history. Advocate and say that all people need to know they’re adopted because late discovery adoption, where people don’t learn they are adopted, whether completely adopted or their dad isn’t their biological dad until they are adults, some in their senior years, actually wreaks medical havoc as the family health history they had happens to be all incorrect. It was and still is degrading to have to have said as a child to my doctors, “I don’t know. I’m adopted.” It is a pure example of why closed adoption is abuse. Why closed adoption must be considered child abuse on the law books, and why closed adoption must be banned.

So, please write or email. It’ll take you all of ten minutes total. Yes, if we get even just one of these groups on board to advocate for adoptees it will save lives. I know a woman right now who is an adoptee and a mom to a thirteen year old daughter. She is battling cancer and the doctors really want to know her biological family health history, but the agency and state are refusing to help in any way. They’d rather make a child an orphan and let a woman die. Does that sound honourable or noble to you? They aren’t protecting anyone but the multibillion dollar loosely regulated, uncredentialed adoption industry. If a biological parent, or any parent for that matter, were to refuse to give information when their own child is dying that’s a clear sign of anti social personality disorder because normal, good people simply just give it. Please, if you’re going to help out do not bring up birthparent privacy because birthparent privacy does not exist, and I’ve explained why and how numerous times.