This list is not written by me, but written by natural mothers from Canada. Natural mothers are mothers who lost their babies to adoption. Natural mothers, who have learned the truth about the multibillion-dollar adoption industry- that cannot survive without babies to give away- that is less regulated than America’s and Canada’s (respectively) real estate industries have created this list to help other natural mothers understand how their very babies were taken from them when they falsely thought they were the ones in control and to prevent women and girls in crisis today from going to an adoption agency or private adopting couple. This is an important list for any natural mother or any woman or girl currently facing a crisis pregnancy whether you are British, Irish, Canadian, or American. Stop and think, did you, in fear, rush off to an adoption agency but not yet sure you wanted to give your baby away? Before you stepped foot in that adoption agency’s door did your soul or back of your mind tell you you still wanted to keep your baby? Was it your parents that pushed you into adoption? If you can say yes to any of these statements than it is incredibly likely you were coerced into giving your baby away for adoption. All you need is one yes from this list and it was coercion; a few things on this list are points I bring up, but most is written by Origins Canada:
*You were told you were unfit to parent due to being unwed. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were told you’d be inadequate as a mother.
*You were told that keeping your baby would be selfish. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit, not directly but indirectly).
*You were forced to draw up a list of what you could give your baby versus what an adoptive couple could give your baby.
*It was stressed that your baby needed a two-parent family. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit). Please refer to my article on A Child Does Not Need a Two Parent Home.
*It was stressed to you that the needs of your baby came before your needs and that you couldn’t give your baby what she or he needs. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit by stressing your current struggles, struggles that would disappear with time, even if you kept your baby).
*You were told if you didn’t surrender your baby that your baby would be put in foster care until you sign.
*You were told if you surrender your baby you love him or her, and if you keep him or her then you don’t love him and you’re selfish. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were told that adoption is thinking about what is best for your baby. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were told to think of the joy you’d give to an infertile couple. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were told you’d disappoint a mother who is waiting for her first baby if you change your mind.
*You were told you couldn’t keep your baby because your baby had already been promised to someone.
*You were encouraged to have the adoptive parents pay the medical expenses so then you felt you owed them your baby. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were encouraged (1990s-21st century) to meet with the potential adopting couple to pressure you into feeling like you simply couldn’t bear them the disappointment of changing your mind and keeping your baby after meeting with them.
*(1990s-21st century) You were encouraged to establish a very close bond with the potential adoptive couple so it becomes harder to change your mind and so you trust them to keep in touch with you (it’s a ploy, 85% nationwide in the US end up cutting off contact with the natural mother).
*You were told by your parents you could come home “once you disposed of the problem” (got rid of your baby).
*(1990s-modern day) You were encouraged to have the potential adopting couple in the waiting room or delivery room to meet “their” baby so true bonding between you and your baby would not happen and you would feel guilty for wanting to keep your baby.
*Your boyfriend and/or family members were discouraged from helping you.
*Your family members and/or boyfriend were prohibited from seeing or contacting you.
*You were incarcerated into a maternity home, forced to live far away with long distant relatives, or sent to live with a family and nanny their children far away from home and told adoption is the loving option and you’re not coming home until you give up your baby for adoption.
*Contact with friends, boyfriend, fiancé, parents, other family members was very limited or not at all and/or done solely through that of a social worker, agency, maternity home, or other.
*Telephone use was restricted on you.
*Your correspondence was screened.
*Your boyfriend was lied to and told the baby is not his.
*You were told that your parents are coercing you into keeping your baby because “they only want to be grandparents”.
*You were told the lawyer that the adoption agency pays for is representing you. Lawyers in the United States and Canada can only represent those who pay them. A pro-bono lawyer would still not be able to represent you because in this case said lawyer is still being paid by the adoption agency or private adopting couple.
*You were encouraged to distrust anyone who didn’t like the fact you’re planning on or thinking about giving away your baby.
*Your baby was taken away from you at birth. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*Access to your baby in the hospital was severely restricted.
*You were not put in the maternity ward for recovery.
*You and your baby were separated a long distance in the hospital.
*Your baby was transferred to another hospital without your consent.
*When pregnant you were labelled and called a “birthmother” so that you were brainwashed (emotionally abused) to think your only job in the life of your child was to give birth. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You asked for your baby and were told no.
*You were told you cannot see your baby unless you sign the surrender papers.
*You asked for your baby and were told it’s best for you not to see him or her.
*You were given mind altering drugs several days after the birth to induce amnesia.
*You were given general anaesthetic during the birth and kept under anaesthetic until your baby was taken away for adoption.
*Your signature for surrender was obtained when you were on drugs.
*You were administered a lactation stopping drug without your consent.
*You were bound up physically to be prevented from breastfeeding.
*You were strongly discouraged from breastfeeding.
*You were told you cannot or should not breastfeed because you’re not your baby’s own mother.
*You asked for your baby back and the adopters stalled until the revocation of consent period had expired.
*You were referred to as birthmother, birthparent and only referred to in this context.(Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were encouraged to write a letter or letters to your child and label them “my birthchild” and/or sign your name only as “your birthmother”. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were asked to describe your child’s “ideal parents” and then received prospective adoptive parents profiles that matched your list. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were told to encourage all hospital staff of your adoption plan so that they could ensure they would do what “was best to encourage you to follow through with your plan”.
*Information on labor and delivery was kept from you so you would be scared.
*You were isolated and alone during labor.(Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were mutilated during labor and/or delivery.
*You were physically assaulted.
*The episiotomy was sewn up without anesthesia as punishment.
*The episiotomy was purposely cut through ligaments and/or cut down your leg as a punishment scar to remind you for life.
*You were told social assistance doesn’t exist or told social assistance would still have you struggling and still not be best for your baby.
*The hospital said you could not take your baby home unless you could pay the hospital bill.
*You were told your baby would suffer because you have no money, are too young, have a non- severe mental illness (such as anxiety or mild bipolar disorder), have seizures, have a physical disability, haven’t finished school, and/or aren’t married. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*Your baby was taken into foster care to a secret location ((Catholic Family Center pulled the first half of this comment). so that the social worker could write abandonment on the form.
*You were told your baby had died during childbirth. This happened to many Jewish women and single women.
*You were told that the adoption had been finalized when it actually hadn’t been yet.
*You were told adoption was the best option. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were told that open adoption is legally enforceable and that you as the child’s original mother get a say in how often you see your child, getting her report cards, how often you receive photos of your daughter or son, etc only to see it close.
*You were told you would “move on” and be able to return to a “normal life”. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*The documents were signed by someone else forging your signature.
*You were informed after signing a pre-birth consent that it would be held binding in a court of law.
*Information was withheld from you about the lifelong implications, risks, and emotional consequences of surrender such as: an adoption agency does not need to pass along medical information, adoptees are put at medical risk, the very high chance of anxiety and/or depression your child would feel from being adopted, the feeling of abandonment and neglect your child would feel from being adopted (more common in sons but still happens with daughters), the fact the suicide rate of adoptees is four times higher than that of the general population in the US, the higher than normal rate of eating disorders after losing a baby to adoption, the extremely high rate of depression and PTSD after losing your baby to adoption, and more bad situations. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were not told about temporary foster care or temporary foster care for both you and your baby. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were not permitted to read the documents you signed.
*You were not given a copy of the documents you signed.
*You were pressured, using the subtle or not subtle tactics mentioned, to decide on adoption when pregnant. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were pressured, subtly or forcefully, to give up your baby for adoption when your baby was a newborn instead of being able to care for your infant for several weeks post partum (2 months) to make an informed decision. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*Information was withheld from you on how long you can revoke the adoption and get your baby back. (Some of these I don’t know if Catholic Family Center did. So if it’s a blank does not necessarily mean they did not do those things, or Catholic Charities which is just as sinister. Both are affliated with each other).
*Information was withheld from you that you could have taken your baby home from the hospital to see how it goes for awhile. (Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*You were not given independent legal counsel, not paid for by the agency.(Catholic Family Center pulled this bullshit).
*Your independent legal counsel was not present during the signing of the papers.
*You were told you were making an informed choice when facing the dire situations of homelessness, abusive partner, kicked out of house, or other scary situation. I would like to thank Origins Canada for this list. This list describes the loss of motherhood for women not just in Canada but in the US, Britain, Ireland, Australia, France, Italy, Israel, and other countries throughout the world.
Please check out originscanada.org to learn more. Please join Origins Canada if you lost your baby adoption or if you are an adoptee. You don’t need to be Canadian. In fact, many babies were trafficked into the States from Canada so I advise anyone to check out their website.
Exposing Adoption 